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Odonna ( member #38401) posted at 1:49 AM on Sunday, July 7th, 2019
Have you gotten through this day without lamenting and bemoaning why she has no empathy and understanding? Have you forsworn asking “is there hope” (because there is not).
It was just a day challenge, but a really important one because once you get through that first day you can get through the next. You really CAN heal!!
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 10:35 PM on Sunday, July 7th, 2019
I want to stop thinking my life is over. I want to start thinking I am free. I am so sorry to have wasted all these years to be treated like this
This was your post yesterday.
How did you do today?
I can tell you I wasted 6 months believing I was worthless and the cold hearted person my CH portrayed me to be.
When DDay2 hit and I finally was very very angry - that anger made me stop and think I - I’m not the person he convinced himself I was. He only did that to manipulate me during his Affair.
In fact I then viewed him as the liar and cheater he was. And I showed him the door.
Funny thing is now he’s afraid I will leave him. How the tide has turned.
Get angry. Propel yourself forward. Stop listening and believing her lies and crap. Watch what happens when you are no longer controlled by her. She won’t like it. She won’t know what to do. She will start becoming unglued b/c she counts on you Being passive.
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 12 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
bluelights (original poster member #70876) posted at 5:20 AM on Monday, July 8th, 2019
Hi,
I am very sad today, but I am not asking why anymore. I know why!
She wanted to and she has no respect for love and life as it should be: a path of improvement.
I am very sad because I know it is over for me. She needed to do so much to save us, but she will never do anything.
I am extremely sad and sorry I begged her to stay after she manipulated me.
Thank you, now you are the only ones that understand how horrible it all is.
bluelights (original poster member #70876) posted at 5:27 AM on Monday, July 8th, 2019
How can I go out of this feeling at least strong? I am afraid of what she can do against me.
[This message edited by bluelights at 11:29 PM, July 7th (Sunday)]
Odonna ( member #38401) posted at 5:28 AM on Monday, July 8th, 2019
Ok. Make a plan for tomorrow. And it should not involve posting three times in one message how sad and devastated you are. Yes, of course you cannot stop your feelings. But you have to start coping with reality.
Yes, she is selfish, self-absorbed, cruel, entitled, abusive, etc. And you May or may not be a saint, but it does not matter because you do not deserve this.
But, for YOU, stop bemoaning and lamenting how horrible she is. Because at the heart of all that is the hope that she will change. And she will not.
So for tomorrow, give up the laments for 24 hours and instead tell us all about what you are doing throughout the day to LIVE your life!
Smillie ( member #51537) posted at 5:29 AM on Monday, July 8th, 2019
Hi bluelights. It's a roller coaster. When you are at the bottom there is only one way to go...up (obviously). At least you can look yourself in the mirror and accept it is what it is. Remember that there is so much more to life than one relationship,go for a walk and breath free air and have a good cry if you need it.
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