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Yes I agree if you say hey I will come along to the concerts with you her reaction will tell you if he is just a friend or not. But I think you already know the answer, unfortunately.

The reason I said american women: is just to have another perspective as the world babe is used all the time or sending kisses

I

Logically she is cheating!!!! Just can imagine i sacrifice having kids just to be with her and she bloew up all

I think you should offer to go to the concert with her. See how that plays out. It should tell you a lot...

I'm an American woman. I would NEVER call a guy friend "babe" or "baby" or use kiss emoticons in my texts.

Now, that being said, it is somewhat common for some women (particularly in the south) to use terms of endearment (darlin', sweetheart, dear). But, they do that with everyone! It doesn't mean anything. They will say "good mornin', darlin'" to the cashier at the grocery store. The waitress in the restaurant might say, "..and what will you have, dear?"

I'm very sorry that all this seems to have gone down while you were away supporting your dying father. I'm very sorry for your loss!! When I was doing the same thing my own husband was out partying every night. I needed him badly to support my sorrow after being at the hospital all day. But, no. He was taking advantage of my absence. Was he cheating? I have no idea. But, he had cheated before (I rugswept it like a fool) and he cheated later (we divorced).

At this point, there is no reason for her to continue to pursue her interests with this guy. YOU should be her date. Period.

I wish you well. Take good care of yourself through this.

Get a voice activated digital recorder and put it where she would normally do most of her talking and see what she talks to him about. Even if it is all on the up and up (it's not) this relationship is entirely inappropriate for a married woman to have.

You can also get software or an app to put on her phone that will recover deleted messages. You should demand transparency and full access to her phone and laptop. She is your wife. She is married to you. Why would there be anything to hide if something else was not going on? But I think you already know that something else is going on. This is not how love behaves.

Elle devrait te montrer plus de respect que ça.

Patrique,

Her dating other men while married to you is wrong. I suggest you no longer put up with it. Tell her she is free to go but not as your wife.

Phone guarding, changing passwords, deleting messages, etc. reflect she is having an emotional affair and likely it has gone physical if they have had the opportunity to meet....which they have.

Sexting and sending nudes is inappropriate.

If you need more proof you can get it from a private investigator when she is on a date. The VARS will also get phone conversations and many times additional proof. You already have enough in my opinion. She is wayward as hell and does not reflect the values of an American Wife. If anyone is sent a picture of her tits it must be you.

When you get the proof or confront now, please get ready for all the lies and manipulation to follow when you confront her. Believe nothing she says and only 50 % of what you see. Wayward spouses lie and then will lie some more.

Her actions reflect the idiocy and crazy making many wayward spouses engage in.

Take care of yourself. Drink plenty of fluids, eat properly, and try and rest as much as possible.

We will be with you on your journey out of infidelity.

mon coeur est lourd pour toi

Ok. As an American woman, no, I'd never call anyone I wasn't in a relationship with "babe." I would not keep my phone near me or change my computer password. In fact, I'd feel uncomfortable spending all of this time with a divorced guy without my husband.

Patrique, she is likely having a physical affair. Please take some action now to protect yourself. We all know your pain, and I am so sorry.

Patrique get the phone recovery software Fonelab and run a recovery on her phone.

You'll be able to recover deleted texts, images, videos, cheater app messages, etc.

Don't use Dr. Fone it sucks.

Fonelab has a version for iPhone and Android.

Youll need to install iTunes on your computer first, you'll need her passcode, and you'll also need to tap the "trust this computer" prompt on her iphone when you connect it.

Do that and you'll learn all you need to know.

***

Meanwhile don't let her go on a date with another man,!

Strength with regard to the loss of your father, always with you in your memory and your heart.

As for your wife, many good things already have been said, from doing the research to the classic "Hey great, I will come along with you!".

I have had multiple serious relationships and have dealt with the situation you are in multiple times with different women. Sometimes it was innocent, other times it was not and very shady behavior and heading towards a physical affair between them.

The amount of contact was always a telltale sign, friends contact each other every other week or three weeks but not every day, and do not relatively soon ask for a new meeting (if they do = second date).

But you know what, whatever it is with regard to other men, if it makes YOU feel uncomfortable YOU should act accordingly and let her know that she should stop whatever she is doing and prove that it was not a physical affair OR you walk away forever. She may say you are controlling etc., well you are not, you just do not tolerate things that make you feel uncomfortable. She KNOWS you have this full right, but does not respect it and you.

You have not yet confronted her in any way?, always a wise thing to first gather evidence, but have you pointed out your concerns to her?

Further, you are 45, guys that I know (43,45,48) still had children in their forties, some even within a year after having met their new significant other person.

When I asked my XWW if I could go with her to her "outing" with her new "friends" she said no because I don’t know them.

But the problem is... if she says yes and they act like nothing is going on and you later find out they were in a relationship, you will remember that outing for the rest of your life.

Just can imagine i sacrifice having kids just to be with her and she bloew up all

I think this is enough reason you should divorce her. Having children sounds very important to you. This will continue to bother you in the future with your WW. How old is she by the way?

On top of that, you go away to take care of your father and she copes with your absence by cheating? You'de be surprised how many members here had a family member to take care of or go away to see during their last moments on earth while their spouse used that opportunity to pretend what it would be like to be single again.

Patrique, at 45 yrs old you have time to start over. I had to at 43 yrs old myself. There is whole other life to live. Question is do you really want to live it with this same supposedly "wonderful" woman as your WW who has now added the pain of betrayal with the pain of losing your father?

Without a doubt she is conducting an affair. Without a doubt you should still expose it. But, also take this opportunity to see your WW for who she really is now that she has focused her charms away from you and on to her new interest. When people show you the first time who they really are, believe them.

What ever you do, just do not beg her back into the relationship. Do not do what we call "the pick me dance". You do this and you hand her all the power in the situation as she wishes and she will simply want to have an open marriage moving forward.

You could always tell her to go ahead, ask her what time she will home, because you have a dinner date with another woman, and she her reaction.

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR SUPPORT

I do really appreciate e it at this time.

Unfortunately, I managed to get into her Phone photos album, even she deleted most of them. I found out so many pictures of her exposing her bbs, skin in the shower or in bed which she never do. I was shocked to find a picture of someone genitals (male), so what those picture means?

I found a screenshot picture with the following"

""" I am convinced our paths crossed for a reason. I think you and I can have a lot of fun together with music and beers and cute flirts and adventures and ??? I am excited to see! I just don't want to lead you on, or for either of us to have false"

I guess ??? means S..

WHAT THAT MEANS????

To Jud, I am 43 and would love to have kids on my own, it just I gave her everything and can't absrob this shocking situation

Yep, it's a sexual affair.

Forward all that to yourself if you need the evidence.

From what you've see it's the "tip of the iceberg". At least you should be out of denial of what's been going on.

Sorry man

[This message edited by Marz at 4:48 PM, July 23rd (Tuesday)]

I guess ??? means S..

WHAT THAT MEANS????

It probably means sex but might mean intimacy - a full relationship. It may mean “whatever the future brings.”

This is not the sort of thing a married person should be saying to a person who is not their spouse. It looks like she’s ready to follow this other relationship wherever it takes her - and that does not include you.

I suggest you consult with a lawyer and find out what the divorce laws in your state are. You’ll want to know the process, requirements, what your rights are, what her rights are, how property is divided up, etc.

Patrique, get Fonelab and do the recovery.

Your questions will be answered.

It means your WW is having an affair, and that you are living in infidelity. You will have to confront her and make a decision, depending on whether you start walking toward divorce (D) or reconciliation (R). Status quo not an option.

faithfulman: Fonelab won't get you deleted messages, from weeks ago? I read review and all were negatifs

did you try it.

I feel I have enough evidence to stop the relationship and look for another job outside the state and move on with my life

Patrique,

I feel I have enough evidence to stop the relationship and look for another

job outside the state and move on with my life

That's the spirit, brother!

Just tell her you know she's cheating and hand her divorce papers. Hard 180 until the divorce is done and then never look back. You've got this.

When she goes to her concert this weekend, pack your stuff, leave the divorce paper on the table and don’t look back.