SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I took a risk and decided to be hopeful for one bloody moment....I soooooo get this. No human decency

Like I said be careful going forward. She doesn't sound too stable. I don't think she is done with you....

I think she heard about it from my kids. As far As being done with me, I don't know how to read her. Basically everyone who knows the situation and her seems to think that she is having difficulty comprehending that her actions have consequences. She is not a very bright person, so I don't see any real plan at play, just naked animal reactions. She is the epitome of entitled. It really is sad to watch.

The irony is that she is at once being a bitch and then asking me to split our asses 50/50. I have a good case for 100%

You are going to be just fine. Especially once your D is over. You have a really good handle on who she is. The opposite of love isn’t hate, its indifference, and I think you are one of the people capable of rocking “indifference” for your STBXWW. If she starts to try and harass you or stalk you, the apt. management and security will shut her down. Good luck.

How big is the complex? Is it so small that you will see her

On a regular basis?

Hopefully not.

Are you on a lease or monthly rental?

Good luck

Narcs and psychopaths have a different view of "winning". As long as their victims lose, they "win". Doesn't matter if in reality they lose more, as long as they can make their obsession/victims/targets lose, they have won.

I am on a year lease. The comes is fairly big, but laid out so I would see her pretty regularly. She just has no feelings of compassion or empathy. She is quite adept at making herself the real victim in any situation so it is frustrating. One thing I have found is that she has a total inability to project into the future. As a result, she cannot anticipate consequences. She lives on the now, always late, always putting things off til later. It was made ing living like that. Soon I will be free!

When I was divorcing, I put an offer in on a little shit-shack nearby, but was beat out on it by another buyer at the last minute.

My XWW lives there now.

They're a special breed these ones.

Did you tell her where you were gonna rent?

In the future limit communication and don't tell her anything you don't have to. I get you have to give her living addresses but wait until the last minute.

Wow! I got my keys to my new digs early... I started moving a few things in. I bought an antique bed with a brand spanking new mattress and bedsheets and new pillows. You get the point. I'm starting fresh with no skanky ex wife sweat staining my bed. My new place is painfully small, but it's mine and it is safe...for now. I'm.going to continue moving over the month. Wish me luck. I'll need it.

Great to hear this! You are doing this right dude. Onward and upward. Don't give cheaters space in your head or your life. She destroyed her marriage, She has to deal with the fall out not you! Time to unperson her and head full steam into what i am sure will be a bright future....

Wow Changemaker. Just wow! Things never cease to amaze me.

Justsomeguy

I can imagine how this feels. People have said this exact same thing about my experience with my WS.

That said..gently..I can put myself in your shoes where our long term spouses are apparently deliberately hurting us.

I can not say that this is the correct thing to do (and my circumstance is that I am still legally married due to my accepting false R). But I felt convicted due to my religious values to take the high road with my adulterous and abandoning spouse.

I endeavor to refrain from name calling, putting him down, and judging him not because I don't want to, but because it wears on my body and spirit and ramps up my nervous system fight or flight and keeps me bonded to someone who wants to hurt me.

Any emotions other than indifference or love with boundaries seems to intensify the bond with someone who seemingly wants me dead or at least badly wounded.

And, like it or not, he is still the father of my son.

Just my experience and choice and not the right choice for everyone. But I find that the more I can keep my thoughts and behaviors calm the less I bleed on people who did not cut me. And the lower my blood pressure and heart rate stay.

PS This is really, really hard for me.

Well, I've moved in and tonight will be my first night in my new place. I went out shopping for groceries and impulse bought a new mug that has one word on it...peace. wouldn't that be nice for a change?

I like your new mug.

I hope you find yourself at peace soon without your wayward hovering over you.

Her moving to the same complex as you is pathetic.

[This message edited by Ripped62 at 9:22 AM, September 2nd (Monday)]

Here is to peace...and new apartments, beds, sheets and pillows!

So I've been in my new pad for two nights and ive discovered a few things. Inhet to put me first finally. It feels really wierd. I bought one of those grocery chickens the other day and I are the best parts. Normally I save those for the kids but this time I actually got them... then I watched a movie I wanted. The only thing I find challenging is having someone to bounce ideas off of when putting things in the kitchen cupboards. I'm not sure I've got that right.

Quick update. Not sure if anyone cares, but what the Hell. Kids have moved their stuff in and we just had our second night. Everyone seems to be sleeping okay. Made a nice comfort meal of roast beef, mashed potatoes, and salad. Kids were content, but my eldest was upset and spent come time spiralling over school issues. And then she said she just wanted her old life back. This is the second time in two days. Yesterday, she said she does not understand why we are getting a divorce. That I was happy.

We still have not told them about the affairs their mother had. Her choice, not mine. I think its going to be a challenging Fall. Hoping things get smoother.

It may be time to tell your oldest I an age appropriate manner..

Its best to be honest with your children in age appropriate manners. Your oldest is having issues. You want them to come to you when they have concerns and problems. You have one screaming in your face right now. Be truthful with them. Be honest. You do not have to hide the truth. You do not have to shield your WW. She didnt care about you when she had her A. Your concern now is yourself and your children's well being, period. Show your children how much they mean to you as you have. Be their rock and support. They have questions, answer them appropriately.

I agree with telling them.