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My kids said they have mourned the death of their mom and moved on and they said I need to do the same.

You're kids are very smart, as painful as it is for them, they have a clear picture of the situation, you need to do the same and pretend she's dead, block her, ghost her and file for D, you deserve so much better than a serial cheater who chose a drug addict and ghosted her own children.

for some reason she wont leave me alone. she moved 2100 miles away with her new boyfriend. she is blocked on my phone so now she emails me. why she chose a new life. she left her family. why email me? and it was all day and half the night. i stop replying because there is no point. why cant she leave me alone? i guess i have to block her emails. my kids have blocked her on everything. now i am forced to do the same. she is in vegas. start a new life, you didnt want the good life you had here.

This is horrible.

In the back of your mind you might be thinking "if I block her how will I know if she want's to repair the marriage?"...not that you would want to but in the back of you mind you might be hoping for an apology or to be able to hear her say that she made the wrong choice or..." whatever the reason you need to block her on all devices now. She is a serial cheater that shows no remorse and seems to get a kick out of causing you additional pain. If she did want to save the marriage she would need to move heaven and earth to get you and the kids to a point of trust again...Finding and contacting you would not be a problem if she truly wanted to change. I'm not saying she is at all reconcile material, all I'm saying is that you should not let hope keep you from blocking her.

You are feeding her ego kibbles every time you answer the phone or email. I don't care if you are calling her a whore or using every swear word you know....you are still showing her that she is relevant, can hurt you, and that you are still interested enough to read/respond.

This is also called pain shopping. You need to detach to really see how horrible she is. The longer you go NC the better you will start feeling.

I agree with others. Now is the time to move forward on the divorce. Talk to a lawyer see if you can get exclusive use of the house or any other benefits since she abandoned you.

Are you paying for anything for her? Phone? Check with a lawyer before taking her off health or car insurance.

Did you tell the spouses of the married men she was with?

Sorry you are going through this. This is pretty typical. She wants to keep you in the triangle. Now that you talked to her on the phone. Feeds her ego. She knows you will still talk to her and beg her. Please don’t do it. She abandoned you and her sons. As long as you allow it, she will continue to make you suffer. She enjoys it.

See an attorney. File for D ASAP and have her served if you know her location. If not, find out how to process a D with an abandonment. Block her on everything. No Contact.

Good luck.

i have now blocked her from any contact. my lawyer is aware of everything and i am going thru with a divorce. i do not pay any of her bills. except for the debt she left me that is in both our names and the credit cards she decided to run up. i want nothing to do with her. she has never driven nor did she cook, so she really didnt bring much to the table. i am glad we are so far apart it makes my life easier to move on. i hope now that she sees she is blocked she will leave me alone. there is no chance of a reconcile!! way too much damage done. and my kids made it clear that they dont want her back into our lives. i am ok with that. i didnt abandon my family! she did. my kids are my life and my biggest supporters!! i really want to thank everyone that has given me advice!! this site was the best thing i have done!! i thank you all...

Stay strong 'Mcjr523'. Don't waiver on the divorce. Let the lawyers handle everything and don't entertain her if she calls from a new number, email, etc. Remain a ghost for your own sanity. Continue the process of moving on with your life. Take care of yourself.

Vicki Stark wrote a book about Runaway Husbands. While it’s opposite gender, her book might help you. I think she also has a blog and Facebook page.

In the I Can Relare forum, I read about Narcisist Discard. You might find it really helpful.

Heart is hurting for you. 😒

i want nothing to do with her. she has never driven nor did she cook, so she really didnt bring much to the table. i am glad we are so far apart it makes my life easier to move on. i hope now that she sees she is blocked she will leave me alone. there is no chance of a reconcile!! way too much damage done. and my kids made it clear that they dont want her back into our lives.

Good riddance !!! you deserve so much better, since you decided to D, I suggest you open a new thread in the D/S forum here on SI, you may find tips and great advice from people who are going through the same D process, lost of good info, good luck.

Dear Mc,

Just wanted to reach out to you. You are going through a nightmare, but it will pass. The more and sooner you can block her from your life, the faster you will heal. Healing from betrayal is different than healing from other wounds. I've been trying to understand more about it myself. It's a soul wound, something that pierces us so deep it wounds our soul. In your case, it's particularly wounding. I hope you can draw strength and support, from therapy, your kids, wherever you can find it. Block her, find support, be very kind to yourself. Remember: No contact means no new hurts. And the ability to heal from the last ones.

i want to thank everyone on here! this is the hardest thing i ever had to deal with in my life. letting go of 27 years is hard. i am happy for my 2 kids as that is the only good that has come out of this marriage. i know some day she will regret this and sadly it is already to late. she will be the ultimate price by losing her husband and children. i will move on and each day the pain gets less and less. vegas will destroy her relationship i am sure. a younger guy that was on heroin with a gambling problem in vegas!! what a joke. she will be all alone and that is what she deserves.

Hope moving in life brings you joy with your children. Be each others support through this shitstorm. Hope you have changed your locks on the house.

Did you find an address for your STBXWW? This will further aid in your abandonment claims. Once she has residence there, it strengthens your stances. Hopefully your lawyer is working towards these goals. She is responsible for half your family debt. You can negotiate you paying off the debt to lessen any alimony towards her. She may even be so in a fog that you can push through a quick D with having to pay nearly nothing. Hope your lawyer is aggressive in this area. Wish you well.

Hi, I am sorry your wife chose a pos over her husband and children.

Blocking her from your life will allow you to move forward with more ease.

I feel sorry for your children, what good mother abandons her children. At any age?

You and your children will be fine, one day at a time. The toxicity is drained from your lives, I suggest individual counseling for each of you, even just a few visits just to hash out your emotions.

Stay with us, you will need support during the divorce process.

She may never understand her destruction because she sounds like she is just too selfish.

Just don’t ever entertain taking her back. Her actions of abandonment shows you how far she will go to be selfish. She doesn’t care about you or her children if they stand in her way of “her happiness”.

Don’t look back. It won’t change a thing.

Keep moving forward. It hurts. It’s painful. It’s a slow healing process. But you will get there.

No soliciting

[This message edited by SI Staff at 11:46 AM, November 8th (Friday)]