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PSTI ( member #53103) posted at 11:15 PM on Wednesday, December 4th, 2019
Honestly, I cannot imagine wanting to have another child with a spouse who admitted he hadn't wanted more children in the first place. That doesn't sound fair for the child, frankly.
He is not "giving you" a child. Parenting is supposed to be a team effort. I'm very much of the opinion that if this is not a joyous yes from both partners, it should be a no.
I struggled with something similar. I have one child from my previous marriage and very much wanted one with my husband. But he had some valid concerns including his serious autoimmune disease and he expressed that he really didn't think it was a good idea. I could very likely have pushed him into it, but for something as major and life altering as a child, I think that's a pretty unfair thing to do.
He's getting a vasectomy on Friday. I will always have some regrets, I think, but I enjoy the child I have and look forward to the next page of life. It took me about eighteen months to come to terms with it.
[This message edited by PSTI at 5:17 PM, December 4th (Wednesday)]
Me: BW, my xH left me & DS after a 14 year marriage for the AP in 2014.
Happily remarried and in an open/polyamorous relationship. DH (married 5 years) & DBF (dating 4 years). Cohabitating happily all together!! <3
pureheartkit ( member #62345) posted at 7:15 AM on Thursday, December 5th, 2019
Before menopause comes a huge rush of estrogen. I read it was because the brain does not register the amount well so the body goes into overdrive making it. Enjoy it while it lasts. Leave your decision to have another child to your intellect, not your estrogen happy state.
Thank you everyone for your wisdom and healing.
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