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HouseOfPlane ( member #45739) posted at 12:42 AM on Friday, November 20th, 2020
I hear you, LC.
She will always have a place in your life. That many years, from that young of an age.
You can detach and yet be connected. It’s really about detaching from what you thought you knew, and seeing them with fresh eyes, like a stranger’s. What she’s doing is pathetic, and when you can separate from what you thought you knew of her, and just see her without immediately responding with, “how does this impact me,” then you know you are on the right path.
But it is a process, not an event. They’ll be snap-backs. You have so much history.
Sending strength!
DDay 1986: R'd, it was hard, hard work.
“Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?”
― Mary Oliver
Luckycline (original poster new member #74682) posted at 2:24 AM on Friday, November 20th, 2020
House.
I guess there's some solace in that this is a double edged sword. As much as it hurts me, she has to live with knowing what she's done. Continuously justifying her actions to herself and everyone else. I respect myself still. I don't carry any shame from my marriage. I don't envy what her internal dialogue must be like. I doubt this will be the last time she lashes out at me.
Me: BS 30
Her: WS 30 EA/PA
Married - 7 years
DDay - 6/21/2019
Separated - 05/19/2019
Filed for D - 6/24/2019
11/19 - DIVORCED
HouseOfPlane ( member #45739) posted at 3:40 AM on Friday, November 20th, 2020
DDay 1986: R'd, it was hard, hard work.
“Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?”
― Mary Oliver
Luckycline (original poster new member #74682) posted at 10:29 PM on Friday, November 20th, 2020
Hikingout
Does the victim mentality/rewritten marriage history fade over time? Does she honestly believe everything she's saying?
She twisted something I said to make it worse than it already was from the day she left (pre DDay). It was during the conversation where she told me she didn't know if she loved me anymore, she'd asked for me to pay for her school even though she was moving out. I was outraged and in anger said "I'd sooner paint the walls with my brains before I pay you a dime". Wrong I know, but she twisted that I to me threatening to kill myself if she left....... Which she claimed I said in our reddit exchange. I remember clearly what I said because I knew it was fucked up after and talked about it with my family and some friends.
I guess ultimately none of this matters because I just shouldn't ever interact with her again in my own self interest. It's still kind of frustrating though. It's like she's living in a whole different reality...
She tried to throw the alimony I'm paying her in my face to make me angry (it didn't) then wrapped up our interaction by saying "apparently I'm still immature which is why she's still going to need to carry a taser"...
Me: BS 30
Her: WS 30 EA/PA
Married - 7 years
DDay - 6/21/2019
Separated - 05/19/2019
Filed for D - 6/24/2019
11/19 - DIVORCED
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