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emergent8 ( member #58189) posted at 5:10 PM on Monday, October 17th, 2022
Ugh... all those words and not a single apology! I'm sorry Summer, you deserve so much better.
I don't have much to add as I think OIN hit a lot of the points I wanted to make. His message dismissed you entirely and was ALL ABOUT HIM. Wah wah wah! Woah is me! The nerve of him looking for YOU for support and friendship right now. 
You'll never get an explanation from him because he He is so typical of an unreformed wayward. He was unhappy and because and he doesn't understand that happiness comes from within he externalized it all (it's the job, it's the baby, it's all someone else's fault). He felt the rush of dopamine and ego kibbles that came with the A, and confused it for happiness. He left because he figured that would make him happy and solve his problems. It didn't, of course, because you cannot rely on external validation for internal happiness. Meanwhile, the light of day is causing the luster of his AP to wear off and obviously relationships built on lies and deceit come with their own set of baggage. He is a bottomless pit for validation and it will never be enough.
Don't beat yourself up too much for breaking NC, but learn from your mistakes. Nothing good will come from contacting him. We all have setbacks on our road to healing, you WILL get through this and come out the other side stronger.
Me: BS. Him: WS.
D-Day: Feb 2017 (8 m PA with married COW).
Happily reconciled.
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