SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Forgive me for dredging this old thing up but I had to re-read and update you all.

We've chatted a few times. He's very friendly. He had to come to my office yesterday, and I was alone, so we chatted some then too.

He always smiles and waves when he sees me. That's positive right?

I think I'm going to do it. Maybe. But I'm leaning toward yes.

I love updates!

I think you should go for it. What's the deliemma?

Do it, go for it, give it a try, take a chance, roll the dice, step outside your comfort zone, run the risk, keep giving hope to the rest of us.

I guess I am stuck on how to say it.

Hey, want to go get a drink sometime?

Want to hang out sometime?

Ugh. Sounds like I"m trying too hard.

As a guy, I'd say just keep it real simple...what you mentioned doesn't seem like you're trying too hard, asking him to go for a drink with you sometime seems perfect to me....

Good luck whatever you do....you'll do great!

"Hey IT Guy, would you like to go get a hot fudge milkshake sometime?"

"Hey IT Guy, I know this place that has really great mincemeat pies, would you like to meet me there?"

"Hey IT Guy, the local museum is having an exhibit on 12th century toiletries and cleaning products, would you like to catch it with me?"

[This message edited by Jpapageorge at 4:17 PM, August 28th (Tuesday)]

Going good girl!....

I'd ask him if he might want to catch a nearby happy hour...

"Hey IT guy, if you aren't too busy this week how about hitting happy hour?"

WB

[This message edited by wonderingbull at 4:22 PM, August 28th (Tuesday)]

Hey! Good for you! Go for it. If you really want to tone it down ask if he wants to go for a cup of coffee. But I say take a risk and invite him for a drink.

What have you got to lose?

What is the worst thing that can happen?

It is possible he might not be interested/available but he certainly WILL NOT be insulted by your invitation!!!

Go for it!

I love updates too! And I love the advice you've been given by the menz here on SI. Sounds like 3 out of 3 men agree it is appropriate for you to ask IT guy out! No maybes about it.

Hey IT Guy, have you been to that new coffee shop? It would be fun to chat away from the office sometime.

Hey IT Guy, thanks for fixing the printer. it would feel nice to relax over a glass of wine at the xyz bar sometime. I love that place.

Hey IT Guy, It's nice to see you at work. You're interesting to talk to about xyz, I'd enjoy a longer conversation at xyz coffee shop sometime....

Ditto the rest nutmeg, give it a shot....

"Hey IT Guy, would you like to go get a hot fudge milkshake sometime?"

"Hey IT Guy, I know this place that has really great mincemeat pies, would you like to meet me there?"

"Hey IT Guy, the local museum is having an exhibit on 12th century toiletries and cleaning products, would you like to catch it with me?"

You have a wicked sense of humor jpapageorge, I love it.

I will do it.

nutmeg - say a specific day.

Hey, would like to have a drink on Thursday? I knwo this place that serves a mean ??? on Thursdays.

Just find a place that has some kind of special on some particular night.

Sounds like 3 out of 3 men agree it is appropriate for you to ask IT guy out!

4 out of 4

4 out of 4

5 out of 5

[This message edited by Mess76 at 11:42 AM, August 29th (Wednesday)]

Well, I did it. This is what I sent:

hey, so I suck at doing this, but if you have any free time between cookouts, would you like to go for a drink or something? If you are too busy, no worries, I understand

And, this is the reply:

I get terrible reception in here lol. But, omg I'm flattered. A lot going on this weekend so id have to see how it goes. Im sorta dating too but obviously its as serious as it sounds right now lol. Sorry for a wishy washy answer but thats the low-down on me right now. Im on my way with your power supply!

So, SI peeps, what does this mean? Would any men like to provide me with insight?

Sounds like he's seeing someone casually and doesn't know/want to admit the status of that relationship.

Let him make the next move, and when/if he does, be upfront in asking whether or not he's single.

Hard to tell what his response means. Sounds like he's dating someone, but hearing from you has made him doubt whether he still wants to be with that person.

Or, he wants to keep dating her (them?), and would like to add you to the harem.

Geez, I'm jaded...

Seems like a straightforward response, in which he is telling you he is ambivalent. OTOH, he is flattered, and OTOH he is involved in a casual dating relationship. I'd respond with some version of "ok, thanks, let me know if you want to get together, this weekend or another time."

And then - this is the important part - be ok with whatever his response (or non-response) is, and congratulate yourself for taking a step.

I’d say flattered, but not sure if he is interested in pursuing anything at this time because he is currently seeing someone else.

If his leaving the door open while in an ambiguous relationship doesn’t skeeve you out, let him come to you and be sure to clarify his prior relationship status ambivalence. If he just kinda started seeing someone but wasn’t sure if it was anything yet, I could understand, but it also reads a bit, hmm, maybe commitment isn’t for me, I’ll get back to you.