SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

This brings to mind:

My dear, sweet and Alzheimer laden MIL cannot remember very much, nor does she connect with her day to day life.

But!

The name of the OW her deceased husband had an affair with, 40 years ago, came up last month.

The OW is still a neighbor, 85 years old and in frail health, herself.

My MIL raised off the bed and snarled, "Not that whore!" "No, not Julia!" "No Julia!"

We were all in shock. Mother hasn't had that much to say in five years.

THAT, I think, is the best example of never forgetting the OW and the destruction of an affair.

[This message edited by lovedmesomehim at 1:49 AM, October 18th (Thursday)]

^^^^^^^^^this is one of my fears. I'm afraid I'll never forget. I don't want to carry this pain for the rest of my life.

My dad was a serial cheater. I saw what it did to my mother. At 12 I confronted a neighbor for talking about what a handsome man my dad was and what she wanted to do with him. I bit her when she knocked me down, my mom proceeded to kick her ass, then her mothers. The ow was 19 or 20. And we're fighting in the street. Then my parents fighting in the house. A bad scene all the way around. They lived next door.

My mom still talks about it when she hears ow's name. This happened in the 70's. My dad has been dead 19 years.

[This message edited by openedupmyeyes at 6:45 AM, October 18th (Thursday)]

Words can not type how much I hate OW, about 2 months ago I went to her work to confront probably worse but she wasnt there her mum was though and she got an ear full from me, funny havent seen her daughter around since... and we live in same suburb. I am really worried what I will do if I see her she would probably wish I didnt see her I hope I dont lol goodness I just want to hurt her soooo bad. Well that is what a week not taking my meds will do my medication I now have to take to keep sane because of what her and my WH did to me !!! I take them now like clock work every morning because I dont ever want to feel that crazy again I HATE HER AND WOULD LAUGH AT HER AND HER FAMILY AND FRIENDS IF SHE DIED TOMORROW

Sorry double post

[This message edited by sunflower01 at 7:29 AM, October 18th (Thursday)]

All of you guys are great! I'm gonna add my thoughts on OW..even though we are divorced now.

I hope she gets a flesh eating bacteria that makes her boobs rot off and her vagina prloapses with no surgical cure. I hope that one day she gets married to the man of her dreams and has a ton of kids and he cheats on her and then leaves her to raise all those kids on her own and she is left crying in the fetal.position wondering what went wrong.

She will remember everyday of her pathetic,alcoholic,miserable excuse of life what she did cause he took her virginity. When and IF anyone wants to marry that pathetic excuse for a woman she will remember and when she has kids she will remember of the lives she helped destroyed. Oh and she also has to constantly look over her shoulder for me cause I never once physically contacted her since dday..that alone makes me smile

t/j on OW/OM saying "I didn't do anything to you/I didn't do anything wrong"

I cannot wrap my head around that. If you're religious and try to live by the 10 Commandments, then yes, you did. You commited adultery. You coveted your neighbors' spouse.

And if you're not religious, you STILL did wrong. It is WRONG to sleep with someone else's spouse/significant other/partner. WRONG. I don't care if you took vows with me or not.

So when I see that someone's OW/OM actually says "I didn't do anything to you" I want to scream! YES YOU DID!!!!! You willingly stabbed the BS in the heart and back over and over again. You took part in an act that had the potential of ending their marriage.

That is wrong.

end t/j

Sorry that I keep t/jing.

Oh yeah she said that also.

In our one and only confrontation this week, the OW said it takes two, fifty-fifty. I said no, it takes one to say "I'm naked in my bed, come on over" and another one to go over and get into bed with her. Both were 100% responsible for their crap decisions and both are 100% responsible for their actions since. My H has done everything he could to make up for his horrible decisions. What have you done to make up for yours? Oh, nothing except for showing up where you are not supposed to be.

Every time I feel angry towards the OM and wish there was some way of getting even with him then I go home and nail his soulmate

[This message edited by LonelyHusband at 9:52 AM, October 18th (Thursday)]

Lonely Husband that is a disgusting thing to say.

Lonely Husband that is a disgusting thing to say.

nahh. disgusting would be shouting "hahaha, Take that you bastard!" as I did it.

[This message edited by LonelyHusband at 9:56 AM, October 18th (Thursday)]

I just had to respond to the she thinks she is his soulmate statement.

First I hate that word but second I see that you guys were married at 19 and met before that and this friggin idiot thinks she is his soulmate because they had sex. It just kills me.

The OW is my case said the same thing and I also had married my WS at 19 and have been with him for over 38 years. I know more about him then his dick. Sorry for being so explicit.

[This message edited by 2oldforthis at 10:10 AM, October 18th (Thursday)]

Actually I do the same thing as Lonely Husband! And I have said. Ha you Bitch!

And I also hope her vagina falls out she comes to be treated and I am there as her nurse. Now that would be sweet revenge

then I go home and nail his soulmate

That is hysterical, LH. I do a form of that, but I call it making fantastic "mind movies" for OW.

[This message edited by SisterMilkshake at 4:01 PM, October 18th (Thursday)]

making fantastic "mind movies" for OW

lol, genius

Well add me to this club

What truly bothers me is not enough people that know her know what she's done. MANY times!!

She was outed on her Facebook by my daughter but it was soon deleted.

How I wish her job and boss knew! They totally think she is the most honest, caring and hard worker there is. I think of her daily woot wanting to. It's like for the most part I can be out to dinner and if I trigger I continue taking like nothing.... It's like waking up every single morning and as you open your eyes your mind tells you " hey remember how you were raped I. 2010? Well have a great day!"

I've been asked also why I don't carry that much hate and resentment toward my H. I actually have told my H this several times. It's because the simple facts:

MOW never once offered any kind of apology ( I don't know if it would have made things easier to have a sincere apology )

She has done this since before she married her H,she cheated on him before they married and during the M, all the men were married, she's also slept with woman & couples.

My had 1 A on our 20th yer of M. Doesn't excuse it but I highly doubt I would have considered R!

And finally H has been hit with remorse for a long while now. I've lost count of the apologies, long letters, transparency , quitting the gym(something he was totally devoted to) doesn't go out anymore and I am his main priority. Through all this he started going to church and joined a church men's group and the change in him can only be called a miracle.

That is why I find it way easier to forgive him& not have that hatred toward him. She's done NOTHING to earn forgiveness. She went back with her H after he divorced her, stating clearly in an email that she only was back with him as a sacrifice for her daughters and because she couldn't afford being on her own. I made sure her H knew exactly what she said...

[This message edited by Offhispedestal at 12:25 PM, October 18th (Thursday)]

My WH's OW got fake boobs right before I busted them. Ever since I have prayed for her husband to pop them one day when he hits her (her H is an abuser). Normally I would never wish this on anyone, but her I do.

I used to hate her.

Now, I think she is just a broken lost person.

Her life is a disaster her kids don't live with her, she has a shit hole apartment and lost all of her money and posessions that meant so much to her.

As much as it could be called the karma bus, I know it isn't. It's the result of someone broken making bad choices and not getting the help to heal herself.

She did the same damage to her family that my husband did to mine. The difference, she never looked inside.

I don't need to hate her, she hates herself enough for us both.

I haven't gotten to forgiveness yet, but I am at least at a point where I don't care.

[This message edited by karmahappens at 1:03 PM, October 18th (Thursday)]

SisterM,you are a legend!

I have a friend who has also been where we all are, though she doesn't use this wonderful arena of expression we have, but she knows and has shared with me, my whole horrible story having known us as a whole family for a very long time.

Anyway, when the proverbial hit the fan, she supported me whole heartedly, and said that the OW whore was a real c**t who needed to learn humility. My friend and I would gleefully sit together and devise the most awful tortures and demises for the whore, just to amuse ourselves.

Lets see how sick we can make them! We said we would kidnap her, take her to the woods and tie her to a tree, then stuff all manner of debris, leaves, rotting bits of wood, worms, mushrooms and the like, into her 'important little places'!

Oh dear! My bad! And THAT's just the tip of the iceberg my friends!

[This message edited by Diva0702 at 4:01 PM, October 18th (Thursday)]

Yes!!! I ravage my husband!!!! Makes me feel much better for many reasons!