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Please do not attempt this at home.

Back a few years ago when my daughter was a baby I used to get up and feed her every night. As she got a little older she would situp and then take her bottle. She would guzzle it down at pich the bottle on the floor.

I noticed as soon as I turned on her little crib light she would sit up in anticipation of her bottle. Soooo... I built a small bottleholder with an enclosed icepack in it. I then got a small motion detect light to mount next to the bottle holder. I would get the icepack cold during the day and put it next to the light with a full bottle. When she would start to cry the light would come on which would cause her to sit up. She would see the bottle and drink it down. I started to try and figure out how to get through those late night poopy diaper changes......

Now looking back this was not the brightest of things to do. It was the plan of a desperate sleep deprived man. My wife could sleep through an artillery barrage and I am a light sleeper.

I think my daughter still sits up whenever a light comes on in her room, she is now 21!

I do the pee in the middle of the night thing too.

I also do laundry and know I will not fold it so I dump it on my bed and put the new dirty clothes in the bag. This way I have to fold the clothes to go to sleep right?? Nope I will take a clean sheet once its time to sleep and spread it on the floor. Sweep all the clothes off the bed onto the sheet. Fold the flaps of the sheet over so the clothes are covered and voila, comfy cleared off bed to sleep in. I will then live off the clean clothes in the sheet until there are so few left it takes me 5 minutes to fold them and put them away....this is a never ending cycle. I am not ashamed lol.

I am a clean clothes pile, dirty clothes pile kinda girl.

Also, I use paper plates and bowls and plastic utensils so I dont have to wash dishes.

I hate repetitive housekeeping chores, but love huge labor intensive projects. Like, I dug a ditch to install a drainpipe for a gutter, and now im going to install a 15'x40' brick patio. The ditch took one day. The patio might be done by autumn.

But damn I like my paper cereal bowl!

I read SI and my emails on my phone in bed very often either at bedtime until I fall asleep or in the morning. Don't have to get up until that pee thing sets in!

Yep, if I have to set a timer for 6 mins I press 555... 1 min gets ya 111... you know, so I don't have to MOVE my finger to another number

Me, too, l2hm. We're very efficient!

@Herewego62: I'm in awe of the ingenuity!

[This message edited by thebighurt at 11:58 AM, May 27th (Monday)]

I despise house work... Cooking I love but it's the only thing...

The lazy thing I do? Pay a maid every week to clean the house and do my laundry...

Best damn $60 I spend every week...

WB

Ummm, ditto.

To the housekeeper, not the laundry.

I will run the dryer 14 times in order to not have to iron something.

^^^This

I used my chest as a snack plate holder when watching TV, because the distance between chest and lap is too much to overcome.

I'll just read through and copy/paste here.

I can't, however be bothered to get the remote, so I will sit here and whine about it instead.

I walk over the piles of dirty clothes until there is nothing clean to wear.

I will pile the clean clothes on the floor across the room from the dirty clothes pile because I am too tired/lazy to fold them and put them away

wake up in the middle of the night having to go pee and just lay there and lay there hoping it will go away.

I stack stuff on the stairs that needs to go to a room upstairs instead of actually taking the stuff up.

I will run the dryer 14 times in order to not have to iron something.

[This message edited by cryingdaily at 9:42 AM, May 28th (Tuesday)]

Paper plates and plastic forks and spoons.

I hate dishes.

This weekend I slept on the couch because 1) the bed was covered in clean laundry that needed to be folded, and 2) there were no sheets under the clean laundry, because they were in the dryer.

I live in a large house and have three dogs (one old grumpy Sheltie and two puppies) and one FWS with selective hearing loss. Rather than wandering around looking for the others I ask my always available female lab to "go find such and such." She immediately jumps up and locates the missing individual. Then I just go straight to that dog or person. LOVE IT. Now if I could just get her to bring me a drink or snack without eating it!

I had a college roommate who put off laundry and ran out of undies. So she handwashed one pair and then thought she'd try drying them in the microwave.

They caught on fire.

Giving whole new meaning to the phrase "hot pants".

I dont' fold any clothes. I mean really, what is the point? You're just going to wear them. I toss in drawer and am done with it. Never matched socks when the kids were home. Put them in a laundry basket and had them fend for themselves.

Hubby, on the other hand, folds my underwear.

The coffee cup i used in the morning now becomes the glass of wine in the evening.... less dishwashing.

I am known as a clothes horse at work but when I get home from school I put the same outfit on i've had for 15 years - a pairs of boxers with a pumpkin face on them, my Uggs and an apron. EVERY SINGLE DAY. It's my "uniform."

I've just realised another- take my socks off with my feet- takes longer but- it's late, I can't be arsed to sit up and reach my feet.

I am known as a clothes horse at work but when I get home from school I put the same outfit on i've had for 15 years - a pairs of boxers with a pumpkin face on them, my Uggs and an apron. EVERY SINGLE DAY. It's my "uniform."

I avoid eye contact and the word "walk" when I'm too lazy to take my dog for a walk. If he hears the word, my guilt gets more amped due to his excessive tail wagging and whining. Bad mama ...

I trained my 4 yr old niece to feed me grapes.

I lay down and she sits by me and plops them in my mouth, one at a time.

eta:

it also works with goldfish crackers, strawberries, carrots, cheerios (which we share), and gummy bears.

[This message edited by itainteasy at 11:16 AM, May 29th (Wednesday)]

I don't untie my sneakers. I leave them triple knotted so I can just wiggle my feet into them without having to bend over and tie them...i'm so ashamed...