SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Why is her father trolling cheatersville?

That was my first question too.

I would just leave it, do not add to it. As long as it is the truth, just leave it be. You posted it months ago correct? So she just found it but it's been there for a while.

As for the linked in contact, was it a message or a note to add him to her contacts? The reason I'm asking it because I think LI may send out auto requests. I get random requests that do not show up on my LI account but on some of my email accounts that I use that are NOT associated with LI. I think it searches the web for associations.

Remove it. You got your revenge. If not for her or yourself, then for the sake of her children.

What happened is over. Let it be over. Stop punishing everyone involved - you make things worse...don't you see that?

I read the last line, you make things worse for her. Actions have consequences. She does not realize the impact of her actions. JMHO, but sometimes punishment is warranted. I say that to say I don't think you were wrong to put that up.

If she thinks explaining that to her father is the worst humiliation someone can suffer, she should try being a BS.

She is damage control and is getting desperate. She will get over the posting just as you get over her A with your H. If it is the truth, it is the truth. KWIM?

At some point you have to let the anger towards her go. She did not make any promises to you, your H did. He is the one that needs to work to help you heal. He also deserves some consequences from his actions. At some point you have to move past this, but do not feel guilty about it either.

I wouldn't worry about her anymore. For the time being, leave the post up to remind her that she shouldn't be watering another womans garden, if you follow me. When you are ready to take it down for your reasons and not because she asked you to, then do so. At this time you probably don't feel like doing her any favors. It is Ok, sometimes being a bigger person is overrated. Some day, perhaps.

I'm kind of giggling, envisioning my elderly father plugging his daughters' names into Cheaterville. He's a malignant narcissist/sociopath, it's it's JUST the sort of thing he'd do.

Other dads? Not so much.

OW took a stroll through Cheaterville herself. Literally and, now, figuratively.

The odds that her children will is slim.

If they do, she can use the opportunity to explain how very, very harmful it is to commit adultery. That it hurts adults and children, breaks up families, and so on.

And then, if she wants, she can say either, "I made this mistake," or "Lots of people have the same name."

Sure. You could take it down. But you don't have to.

I would strongly recommend, though, that you stop adding to it. You can't control anyone's actions but your own---and it might be a good idea to channel yours more positively, at this point.

Why is her father trolling cheatersville?

Could he have been doing a basic Google search for his daughter's name and the link to the Cheaterville site came up?

IMO, you got you revenge. Go ahead and pull it down and move on. I don't see how it serves any further purpose.

Usually I would say to enjoy your post, look at it a few times in satisfaction and then take it down.

But her response was so entitled it would make me see red if it were my former OW!!

She's asking you to think of her comfort, her emotional comfort and the feelings of her family? Without ever acknowledging that she smashed your emotional comfort and the feelings of you family? What an effing stupid twat. I would be so tempted to post an update on the entry you made on Cheaterville with her email, to show how entitled and self centered cheaters actually are. To say LOOK at what she thinks she deserves, when she couldn't give a fraction of that to another human being.

On the other hand, that's anger on your behalf talking. In all reality after some meditation I'd probably find my center again and remember that it's your family that is important - not her. And in that spirit I'd probably wait a month or so and take it down. Not immediately because no matter how centered I was I wouldn't want to appear to jump when she snapped her fingers demanding it come down. And I'd want her to twist in the wind a bit.

Also I don't believe for a minute her father found the post. That's just emotional manipulation on her part. And in order for that manipulation to work, she's banking on you being a better human being than she is, banking on you having empathy for your family where she had none for yours. Her children seeing it. What a load of crap. Couldn't she at least have sent a decent note acknowledging what she did, and that she deserved your words, standing up and facing it like a woman, taking it on the chin and then asking you to take it down, but understanding if you felt you had to let it stand? No of course she couldn't have...

I'm probably the minority here but I don't like cheaterville. I considered it at one time but, I don't know, I just thing a lot of innocents can get hurt plus I sometimes wonder if ppl get posted out of retaliation for non cheating reasons. I would remove it. I

too though am wondering wtf her dad us doing on it. Weird.

Ha, Sunshine,

Never heard of Cheaterville so i just HAD to check it out

MY WH is not listed on the site but searched for once, that was me i guess

But OW has been searched for 7 times, lol

SAME here lol! I am so tempted to put her on there. After dday1 I wanted to get a marker pen and go write her phone number in phone boxes, old school revenge lol! I hadn't heard of cheaterville, if I had I definitely would have put her on there in that angry phase. I wonder who else has been looking her up and why. Hmmmm.

I'd never heard of this site until now....

One more cheatin' ho has been added to the list although I couldn't post a pic of her as I don't have any!!!

Pity, and I like the fact you can anonymously email it to people too!!!

I wouldn't go as far as posting it to her work incase it got me into trouble but SOOO tempted to as the Karma bus didn't ever roll around in my situation (as far as I know)!!

Gaah- I'm not usually such a bitch but am feeling kind of ansty lately so just posted what she did and clicked the submit button before I had really thought about it

[This message edited by MrsDoubtfire at 1:42 PM, May 13th (Monday)]

She wants you to think of her children...when she did not think of yours.

This is soooo true! BUT...you are not the person she is. You are not the lying - cheating - deceitful - etc. person she is.

My advice would be to NOT put her kids through something you wish to God your kids did not go through. This does not seem to be who you are.

I think it is understandable but not rational to compare what she did to you - to what you are doing / should do to her. You are not the same.

JMHO, I feel you obviously hold yourself to a higher standard than she does. In deciding what you should do - why not consider just thinking about what you personally feel is the right thing to do?

Never mind what she would do - or did. She is not in your league!

Well I posted MOW on Cheaterville too, or one of those sites, and she has a daughter.

Nah I'm gonna leave it up, just for the torture she put me through with her vitrol that came out of her disgusting souless mouth.

Cheaterville is a site for cheating whores. OW is a cheating whore so her profile should remain there.

Her Cheaterville posting is not the source of any pain for her children. Her being a cheating whore is the source of that pain. Too bad. She should have thought about that before fucking someone who was married. Her excuses make it clear she feels justified in that action so even moreso she should remain on that site.

Also, I do not believe it is in the children's best interests to pull the posting. They need to know what their mother truly is. Perhaps someday their tramp mother will change, but pulling down the posting will not be beneficial towards that end. Her email to you confirms that she is stuck in her whorish, cheating ways so keeping the posting is actually more constructive to her changing her tune vs. staying a wayward/cheating whore.

Im late here...

She is concerned her father saw the post. She is concerned her kids will be shamed. Well, did she think of these people when she was schtuping a mm?

It sounds that now there are reprocussions she is freaking out.

Ive been in a mood lately. From the land of bitch I say too effing bad. She played she pays.

I don't see any compelling arguments as to why you should take it down or leave it up.

I can't even find myself swayed by the emotional pull for the sake of this child.... or this person or that. I wouldn't even have been swayed by the "moral arguments" of its right or wrong or you are better than this person etc.... not one of the reasons listed above would cause me to act one way or the other.

IMO

The only question you need to ask yourself is how having put this up makes you feel about yourself. What does your conscience tell you?

If having put it up makes you feel bad about yourself, then you can simply remove it, If you feel ok about yourself then leave it as it is. Keep in mind that your feelings may change over time. It's most important that YOU are ok with the decisions you make and you are willing to accept any consequences associated with those decisions.

"The truth shall set you free!" I don't believe in keeping secrets, even from the children, especially when those secrets are impacting their lives. Everyone should have a chance to understand what is impacting their own life. So, her manipulatively trying to guilt you into thinking about her children does nothing for me.

I think the most appropriate thing to do would be to ignore her completely. "Crickets." I'm not saying that's what I would actually do. I'm sure I'd vent, share with my friends and maybe even think of more ways to get revenge. It's not just the fact that she had an A with your WH. It's the lack of remorse and no attempt at ammends until there's something she wants. She has remained in contact and shown you what a selfish, manipulative, waste of food she is. You are a super hero of the Justice League!

You should pull it down.

And then put it back up next month.

Yes!

First of all it is always a shame when children are involved. Sometimes you have to explain things to children that you hoped you never would have to. And there are ways to,do it. That said however, are children going to be trolling these type of websites?? And why would her father be trolling it as well?

Don't remove your post. You may have done it in anger and frustration and that is not always the best way to respond, but you have as much right to vent your feelings as anyone else.

It doesn't matter if she was going through a divorce or not - she willingly entered into a relationship with a married man.

It doesn't matter if your marriage was troubled or not- married means married and NOT available. No one made this choice for her, she made the choice herself to commit adultery.

Now she needs to really understand the consequences of her actions. Maybe I am still more than a little bitter myself.

Whether she tells her children or not - or even has to explain her actions to anyone else - is not your responsibility or problem.

If you are afraid of your children finding out then you can always come forward and let them know that some bad things happened, but Mommy and Daddy are trying to fix it. All of us are broken sinners and imperfect. Sometimes seeing parents work out their problems help children have healthy realistic marriages.

Anyway, (((hugs))).

I want to thank everyone for all the responses. They have made me reflective, thoughtful, made me laugh and a little sad.

I took the post down from Cheaterville. Because someone in all these post said "how does it make you feel"? It made me feel bitter and vengeful and that is not who I want to be. I have to find forgiveness for this person. Not for her sake, but for mine. I couldn't imagine having to confess something like that to my father. I have come a long way with this person in the past 3 months. Today, I can say... "She’s not a slut, a whore or even evil” She’s broken, very broken. And now I look at my WH and have questions on whether he has remorse for chasing her, preying on her and using her the way he did knowing she was in a tough spot. What does that say about him?

I responded to her email (I know everyone said crickets) and pretty much ripped her another new one. She responded to that and basically opened herself up. She genuinely apologized, explained her response to my very first email months ago and why she said what she said. She's agreed to answer any and all questions if I have any and has already cleared up a few things for me. I don't trust this woman and take it all with a grain. But I got more today than I ever thought possible. I got to see the Karma come around and I got my apology. I feel like I can move forward.

I'm so glad you got your apology.

You deserve every word of it.