SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Manly hugs.

You are priority one. Only focus on yourself and your healing. That is all that matters.

Find your strength and motivation. You are worth it.

This too shall pass.

Hoping that the night got easier and that today is a better day.

Thanks for the support. I keep looking at my phone hoping to see a message from my wife. Its never there. I cant stop thinking about her. My life has come to a stand still and hers has kept on going. Maybe reconciling isnt possible. Who knows...

Spursguy,

I know it's hard to believe, but this will get better. You will get over this.

These f'd up situations test us all but as long as you're still breathing at the end of the day you pass the test.

Keep finding the strength to put one foot in front of the other or take one more breath. It gets better. We all survived it and you will too.

Strength to you.

Hi, Spurs

We're all rooting for you here. This has been so traumatic and you have to take care of you first and foremost in the most basic sense. Please take one minute, one hour, one day at a time. You'll get thru it and you will be stronger and you will be ok.

Prayers and hugs.

We're definitely all here for you. Real people who really care. Come anytime and get out anything you need.

(((Spursguy)))

Spurs

I was a cop back when I had my d-day.

Walked in on her having very passionate and intense sex in our bed.

In my case I decided to end the relationship then and there.

For the next couple of months I had very tough thoughts… Thoughts that led me to placing my gun in my mouth and dreaming what it would be like to apply just a little pressure to that trigger…

Obviously I didn’t.

Now – Some 25+ years later I realize the work I did on myself and my personal recovery are a large part of what I am today. I’m professionally successful, in a great marriage, have great kids (and grandkids too!). I am financially well off, socially where I want to be… All in all I wouldn’t want to exchange my life for anything or anyone.

I’ve had harder experiences over the years than her infidelity. I had a thriving business embezzled to ruin, a severely premature baby with no chance of living and/or being healthy (he’s in college and on the honors list! Talk about beating the odds!). But although these experiences seemed harder then none drew me to the emotional depth and wasteland infidelity did.

Just keep in mind that things WILL get better. In my first post I told you that you WILL recover. That’s a promise you can make to yourself. You WILL recover and do it right you will come out of this a stronger and better person.

I hope today is a little brighter for you. Even if you don't feel like posting, please keep reading. Focus on yourself.

I know it can seem like things are spiraling out of control and only seem to get worse. Take back your power. Only you can give it away and only you can get it back. If you were a woman, I'd say get your bitch boots on. I don't know the male equavilant. You can and will get through this. Massive huge hugs spursguy.

[This message edited by Blameitontherain at 12:39 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)]

Went home yesterday and found my wife has moved all her stuff out and is living at her moms now. Back at the hospital now. Too depressing being at home. She took a few things that have real sentimental value to us together. Not sure if that means somewhere inside her she still wants to be with me. So hard to work on my own stuff with so much on my mind.

Went home yesterday and found my wife has moved all her stuff out and is living at her moms now. Back at the hospital now. Too depressing being at home. She took a few things that have real sentimental value to us together. Not sure if that means somewhere inside her she still wants to be with me. So hard to work on my own stuff with so much on my mind.

Seperating. So hurt. So confused.

Spurs,

I know this isn’t what you want. But reality is what it is…

Earlier I used the burning house analogy. Well – it’s particularly apt now. Separation or your WW moving out isn’t what you want not any more than you want to wake up to a burning house. But IF you do wake up in a burning house then wishing it wasn’t so won’t change anything. So friend – just deal with the cards you are dealt with.

Look back to my advice on page two on this thread. It still applies. It still IMHO gives you the best path to BOTH personal recovery and the possibility of saving your marriage.

And Spurs – When you are asked why you and WW are separated then stick to the truth: She had an affair and you had a nervous breakdown as a consequence of that trauma.

Sending your strength, Spurs.

Keep repeating you will get through this.

Spurs

Her leaving you is a sign.

Take this time in your life to focus on you. To understand your depression and conquer it.

Get yourself to a better place so you are happy with her or without her.

Do not settle or anything less.

Keep us posted.

HM64

Out of the hospital now. Starting to feel a little bit of optimism for my future. She says maybe it will work in the future. Im not holding my breath. Im not willing to be walked on and abandoned when i am at my lowest point then just forget about it and get back together with her. I gave her almost everything i dont care i just dont want laywers involved. Ive met a girl but am kind of holding her off at a distance because if im going to have a relationship with her i dont want it to be some sort of rebound. When is a good time to start dating after seperation?

Any advice? Anyone?

It is too early to start a new relationship.

You need to figure out how to move forward. If you don't want attorneys involved come up with an agreeement and get her to sign off on it and file.

Sorry man. Hang in there.

Spurs, brother

read my name. I was able to successfully pick 5 women who were willing to cheat on me. I didn't fix me first.

use the 180. work on you while you decide what's happening now.

strength