SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

But part of me suspects WH picked them out for MOW but daughter caught him buying them and he was forced to give them to me.

So sorry, but I gasped out loud when I read this! Some things still amaze me. I would think nothing could shock me by now.

I guess the gift I was given at the time of my husband's infidelity was our dream home. It was just before our loan was approved for our dream home that he had the ONS with the prostitute.

I love our home. I want to die here - when the time comes. We have a cemetary on our property.

But it is a bit soiled by the reminder that while he was attempting to get loans for our dream home, he was online - and ONS.

My problem is that my husband does not get me gifts. My engagement ring was stolen, and I just KNEW that by our 25th anniversary, we would be well into our healing process and he would get me a new one. No. I got a watch. God help me. It was a pretty watch, but it felt like one of those watches people get at work for many years of service.

I have never put it on.

I got an IPod for Mother's Day during FWH affair. I let the baby teeth on it now. Can't even look at it.

My WS got me a kindle for Christmas, and then slept with OW for first time on Christmas Day. It occasionally brings back bad memories, but I love reading too much to worry about it.

The thing that REALLY upsets me is that I bought him really expensive basketball tickets for Christmas, and he sold them for under half their value because OW didn't want him to go with me to the game. Watching basketball was always our thing, and I just don't see myself being excited about that this year.

Actually, my WH DID buy me a gift during his A. He'd recently declared his new-found atheism--severely straining our relationship--when we were offered tickets to an outdoor concert with multiple acts. He's ex-military, but we're pretty pacifist, so when we saw a booth at the festival with necklaces made with recycled weapons of war, we stopped to look. I especially liked one representing religious harmony. It seemed newly appropriate.

So later, he excused himself for a restroom trip and came back with the necklace for me. To me, it signaled a new beginning and for several months, I wore it often. Unfortunately, when he confessed to the A, he also confessed to buying the OW a similar necklace at the same place.

Well, I've not worn the necklace again. It sits in my jewelry box, tainting everything else. My therapist suggested that I give it to him (before or after smashing it) and ask him to replace it with something truly meaningful.

The snow globe smashing? Therapeutic. Do it!

Yes. Nearly Exh gave gifts for occasions to me also during the A and though I haven't thrown them away, they are very hard to use.

He actually said that he shopped for us when he was "there", so for now, things are tainted.

Triggers also come when he brings gifts for dd I find out come from "there".

My 2nd Dday (same OW) was on Christmas Day ... night. So every gift he got me for Christmas was during the A.

It's hard. I actually chose most of what he got me. Sent him links to specific items. So I almost feel like I bought them myself which helps. But it is hard sometimes. I love the jewelry cabinet I chose for myself but it does remind me of the A so it's bitter sweet.

I try to think of Christmas and all it's reminders as the day he chose to love me again, cause it was a turning point for him and our marriage.

Insist know how I'll handle this Christmas season. Not looking forward to it at all.

Several years ago, before the A, one New Year's Eve, my H was dying to give me this gift... called me away from the food preparations to present it with great fanfare. I unwrapped it and saw a picture frame with the retail photo still inside. A little odd, I thought. But he told me to slide the photos apart and behind them,inside the frame, was a beautiful "Past, Present, Future" diamond pendant. It was probably the most extravagant gift he ever gave me and on a "No Gifts Expected" kind of holiday! I was overwhelmed. I wore that necklace almost every day since.

I took it off after Dday and have worn it once on a particularly good R day since. Other than that, I just can't. He's altered my perceptions of our "past", made my "present" a living nightmare, and my "future" completely uncertain. Just breaks my heart (is there anything left to break?)

And I agree, smash the living daylights out of the snowglobe.....

I had purchased a pretty silver cross necklace with small diamonds that I absolutely loved, but the chain broke, so he bought me a new (supposedly indestructible and expensive) chain for it for Christmas during his affair, and I never took it off..

I had still loved the way it looked on me, so I continued wearing it even after we separated. That is, until he commented on how he was surprised and happy to see me still wearing it during a hoover attempt. I took it off immediately and haven't worn it since..

I've actually tried to replace everything, clothes, shoes, jewelry, blankets, pillows.. It's almost like I want everything gone from that life, whether it was connected to the A or not.

Breaking/burning things is amazingly therapeutic, so I'm in the "smash the globe" camp.. Unless its worth a pretty penny, then I say pawning and replacing is even better.