So weather it is a cookie, iced tea, help... they often find *something* to stay engaged on some level.
Yes. When affair partners are in their fog they will find any tiny excuse to stay friends.
They can NOT be friends, EVER. But WORSE, your wife's behavior sounds like she wants more than friends, IMO.
They sound like emails the OW sent to my wayward husband, after DDAY, in which she was using sexual innuendo and flirting and trying to tempt him to rekindle.
Also, she kept showing up where ever he would go for coffee on a regular basis, and she would contact me to tell me what he said to her, in an attempt to start arguments, etc.
Then she began driving past our house daily sometimes two or three times.
Then she made friends with people I knew and began asking questions about me and the state of my marriage.
But, my wayward was also still in the fog a bit because when we went to an attorney about the stalking issue, he said to my wayward, once you run into her at a particular coffee shop, why do you keep going back?
My wayward looked startled when asked that question.
Then the lawyer said sternly, change things up immediately, if you see her, and if you see her before you go into the coffee shop, don't go in.
He did start doing that but he was in profound denial that his behavior was encouraging the OW. And, he likely wanted to encourage her.
It seems as if your wife is in denial, too, about her attempts to flirt and encourage contact.
In life before A, this behavior might have been acceptable. After an A, everything changes. Behaviors that were once accepted are out of bounds now. That is a consequence of the WW choices.
Yes, in life before the A, all the things you mentioned that she did could be innocent attempts to get ego kibbles, except for the sexual innuendo...., that's always a blatant invitation to an affair
But post affair, the ego kibbles have to stop.
It sounds as if your wife is still courting this man.