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Linda, not only are you not alone, you have thousands of people who can tell that you are a lovely person who did not deserve this one iota. We are all rooting for you and are inspired by your strength.

No soliciting.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 7:59 AM, May 2nd (Tuesday)]

Linda, when you see your lawyer, one of the questions you should ask about is a partition lawsuit being folded into your divorce to force the sale of the home. Heck, the demand that the home BE sold in a timely fashion can be a part of the divorce proceedings. And were I you, I would be going for that as quickly as possible, with a very aggressive lawyer. Get your finances separated out now, before he spends more money on this money-grubbing twat. She's looking for a sugar daddy, he's stupid enough to volunteer for the position, and as soon as she has extracted every bit of cash and property that she can pry loose from him, he's going to find himself dumped like last week's trash. At which point, it is very likely he will try to come crying back to you, to be taken care of. So be very aware of this, because that's not remorse. That's using you as Plan B or C, as a backup for when he finds himself without his playmate. (((hugs)))

Hi there,

I am so sorry you are going through all this, what an ass that man is.

I agree with the other posters, your only concern now is you, get your lawyer and get what is yours before she gets it..

Your husband is a very stupid man.......

If you can don't speak to him, you are still filling his needs and that is what he wants so he gets everything from both of you, if he choses her then your out.....don't speak to him, go out a lot.

keep yourself busy.....let him feel what you being gone is all about for him.....

let him feel the brunt financially as well......open your own account........get a separation done so you can't be help accountable for his debt.

Then let him suffer the consequences of his stupidity, if he tries to talk to you, ignore him tell him he can speak to your lawyer. that as long as he is with her you can't be around him or speak to him, it hurts you to much,....you have to be strong in this.

expose to everyone you know .....it's the only way to bust up the affair.....shine a huge light on it from every angle.

take care of yourself........don't worry about tomorrow, do what you have to every day, every hour....util you can disconnect and detach from that man......read the book over and over again, do the 180.

It will help you heal

So sorry you are going through this. It is hard to deal with the practical, legal matters when you are trying to manage your emotions. A counselor told me it would take one year to heal for every four years you were married. That was an overwhelming statement at the time, but turned out to be true.

Keep taking care of yourself. Reach out to others. Have you considered support and/or church groups? Christian counseling and marriage books helped me through the very dark times. Leslie Vernick's "How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong" really helped me. Praying for you to be able to navigate the next few weeks with wisdom and peace.

Linda, you need a shark of a divorce lawyer!

Get some consults ASAP, and don't tell your WH about it either.

You need to go NC with him as much as possible, stop letting him drag you down.

Get a good lawyer and let them do their job.

In the meantime, please do some reading in The Healing Library, linked in the upper left corner of the page.

There are links to useful articles and ebooks to help you heal.

I am in my mid 60s and very happily remarried to a great guy. I have many friends in their 70s who went thru hideous divorces, but are now remarried to wonderful men.

There are a lot of really good guys out there. My past exes were from years ago. I spent a long time single never thinking I would find someone again.

We've now been together almost a decade - and it's still delightful. We just have fun and I trust him. He treats me like a queen - and I think I treat him pretty well too. This is what marriage is supposed to be like.

But even if I hadn't met my DH I was having a great life with wonderful friends.

I am so sad to read this. What in heavens name can possibly possess anyone to do something like this to a spouse of that many years????

I'll be following your story and wishing you strength and peace.

(((hugs)))

Just hugs. You are not alone, we are here.

Do not let his horrid choices define you.

You are amazing and strong.

Please keep posting. We all want to help you through this hell.

God bless you.

Lindasjag, my husband of 45 years has had multiple affairs with both sexes in the past 4 years as well as one LTA beginning in our 16 year of marriage . I feel for you. After a life of intertwined finances and history, to be faced with this crap. I found out the end of April, gathered evidence and confronted him a month later. He thinks I hired a PI. He is remorseful but I suspect he is more sorry he got caught. Both tested clear for STD's, and are in counseling. Trying for R but I am working on the house, in case we need to sell it. Never in a million years did I think I would be on this site. Never would have believed that my best friend would betray our marriage. Just wanted you to know you are not alone. It is a nightmare, so very sorry. Our 46th anniversary is in December. I detest the thought of it at the moment.

That just breaks my heart for you. I do understand how blindsided you feel. He is in the A fog. She is feeding him all the crap his narcissistic self needs to hear. If he has no remorse, then you protect yourself and get out. You are strong and beautiful. The best revenge is to live a great life. Bless you

The OP hasn't posted in almost 3 months. Why are we resurrecting old threads?

Just sayin'