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I'm a Boomer - a group that has been maligned also. I have two sons who were born in 1982 & 1984. I guess they would be "old Millinnials?"

They are both hard-working men who graduated from tech school and college. They always show up to work on time and ready to do what needs to be done. They have both been rewarded at their respective jobs for their strong work ethic and willingness to go above and beyond what is asked of them.

I think it's more about how they are raised than just lumping them all together. The bad behaviors of some Millennials described here had to be fostered in some way - perhaps parenting? I know a few "helicopter" parents who never let their children fail - at anything. Is it any wonder those children grew into entitled adults?

And aren't we supposed to be working toward better work/life balance? Perks are one thing, but flexibility (as long as it doesn't unnecessarily hurt the business) can be a really great benefit. And I think I read somewhere that people (in general) are more interested in those kinds of benefits in lieu of pay increases (or maybe that's corporate America's influence).

Anyway, I am the proud mother of two Millennials who are anything but entitled or lazy. And who also appreciate flexibility to take care of their family when needed.

I have also heard both of them complain about the entitled attitudes of younger co-workers and interns - so maybe it really is a generational thing. (Newlease raises her fist to shake it and yell, "Get Off My Lawn!")

NL

I have two sons who were born in 1982 & 1984. I guess they would be "old Millinnials?"

there you go! My girls were born in 1984 and 1987; their hubbies were born in 1981 and 1988. I always called them "80s babies" - I poofed their bangs, dressed them in stirrup pants with the skirts attached to them.

I think it's more about how they are raised than just lumping them all together.

Agreed.

I asked where ya'all thought the change came from.

And no not all people born in the millennial catagory act like this. It's just from what I've seen those in that age group tend to have these behaviours moreso than not.

Helicopter parenting could be some of it but there's definitely been a shift in society towards catering to those who are demanding safe places to have a cry fest or be able to meditate.

It's like DS's teacher told me. If the kids do their work they get free computer time. If they don't do their work they don't get that free time. DS loves his free.time so guess who works his butt off in class to get his work done.

You've Gotta Love Millennials - Micah Tyler

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLpE1Pa8vvI

If you haven't, you have to! It's pretty darn great.

Warning: Song will be in your head the rest of the day.

I asked where ya'all thought the change came from.

I honestly don't know - but IMO, it may have began with all of this coddling that is fear-based - not letting kids play outside (afraid of abduction), no losers/winners in a game of ball ("everyone's a winner!"...NOT), etc. And millenials did not enact this coddling - it came from us GenXers. I think the bad things that brought on this fear was nothing new, but with social media and the internet, things went to people's eyes and ears more frequently.

That does make sense.

I think there's also a fear generated by the fact that no matter what you do someone always has an opinion of it and on such grander scale now with social media.

The mother who was in her kitchen cooking dinner watching her children play, outside in a fenced backyard though her sliding glass doors, having child services called on her because in that person's opinion, the children weren't supervised.

There's definitely more fear these days.

Do you guys feel we talk openly about health problems as a society, more than we used to? Especially mental health problems?

Silverhope, yes, we do talk more openly about mental health issues in 2018, and I personally think that is a good thing. I see it on facebook and also in person. I've struggled with depression since I was 13, became suicidal with the discovery of (reason we are here). I've got friends who openly support others with depression, anxiety, bipolar, ADHD, PTSD, etc. It's a kindness to acknowledge that others struggle and to admit you do too at times.

But about that millennial thing,

I recently hired a woman to take on some substantial responsibilities at my organization. She seemed the most qualified by far. But within a week on the job she wanted a new computer and a director's title. Seriously. There is one director here, and it's me. You are not even a manager. NO, you won't be getting that title. And you were told in the JOB ANNOUNCEMENT that candidates with their own computer and software are desired as there wasn't funding for that yet. Shortly after that I made the most gentle pushback on some of her work, and got an extreme over the top reaction that was defensive and huffy, and then less than a week later she resigned, and blamed me in every imaginary way possible for why she had to leave. It was frigging exhausting dealing with the aftermath.

Until reading this thread it never occurred to me that it was an age/cohort thing, but now that I think about it, she probably was indeed a millennial. It about fits with her education years.

I guess I’m an older millennial. I really am not sure why everyone hates millennials. I’m used to it now, but it gets old even for me. I think it’s mostly just the older generation always will focus on the upcoming generations weakness rather then it’s strenghts. Lol I’ll probably be the same way when I’m older but I’m going to try to be mindful of that.

I’ve seen crappy, lazy, entitled people from all generations. The best and most proactive employees I work with are the younger generation buts that is just my opinion.

And aren't we supposed to be working toward better work/life balance? Perks are one thing, but flexibility (as long as it doesn't unnecessarily hurt the business) can be a really great benefit. And I think I read somewhere that people (in general) are more interested in those kinds of benefits in lieu of pay increases (or maybe that's corporate America's influence).

Anyway, I am the proud mother of two Millennials who are anything but entitled or lazy. And who also appreciate flexibility to take care of their family when needed.

I have also heard both of them complain about the entitled attitudes of younger co-workers and interns - so maybe it really is a generational thing. (Newlease raises her fist to shake it and yell, "Get Off My Lawn!")

Just as the Boomers in the 60's rejected their parent's values, so have the millennials rejected ours. BOTH groups are huge and therefore more noticeable, and as DH said, social media is just magnifying our differences.

The younger ones (mine are 26 and 23) graduated to a FAR different economic and political world, which I will get booted for discussing on here, so I won't,

i will say one thing. Here in Germany kids run ahead of their parents. LITTLE kids...two year olds! But stop at the corner. At least once a month I see 6-7 year olds ride the subway alone. There is a school next to my stop and often there are field trips with about 16 kids under 9, 2 kids who are about 12, and 2 adults. The subway driver can see them and will allow extra time for them to get off and on, but there is an expectation that everyone will get on and off the train with no problems. AND THEY DO. What I do NOT see here nearly so much is the anxiety that seems to pervade Americans in general. So I think part of it HAS to be the parenting, although I do not think I was a helicopter parent.

This is such an amazing argument because it’s set up that we can’t fight it. All we hear is “asshole millennials” and when someone dares to say “no we aren’t” it’s followed with “awe, shut up snowflake, you need a safe space? See what we mean. Ugh, millennials.” So I guess we’re all supposed to smile and take it?

OK, maybe it's different across different countries, communities etc but I (born 1987), nor my brother (1990) not my counsins (1994, 1996) ever had sports day or competitions without winners! Everyone was told well done for taking part. Losers were praised for losing with grace and good sports manship (ie not throwing a tantrum, clapping for and shaking hands their competitors) but Winners got a trophy and went up on stage, on a podium etc and were named as the winners.

I would also say my uni, nor any place of work I've been at ever had a "safe space". When I worked for a large company they had a "quiet room" made up of a larger room and 2 smaller "compartments", each had a comfy chair or sofa and there was a small fridge in the common area. It was mainly used for religious requirements (my colleague would go to pray during her lunchbreak while fasting for ramadan) and I know of two other colleagues who were breast feeding and would go there to pump (hence the fridge). And no, time pumping was not "on the clock" but there was an agreement you could take breaks and not clock the hours (same as those going outside to smoke). I never heard of it being used as a safe space but in a large company with good maternity leave it was in their benefit to make coming back to work easy on mothers. The company had investing a lot of money training engineers so it's not in their interest to write off women who want to balance kids and career.

I'm sure there are a lot of entitled assholes out there but I do think a lot of the talk of safe spaces etc is exaggerated. The media definitely had a hand in stirring sh!t. It means the people who were entitled assholes before now get a platform and the people who aren't get tarnished with the same brush. JMO

My husband and I discuss this all the time. We both work with one.

For me, it was the sense of that she knew everything, was the best at everything and was important, from day 1. Just a big ego for not even doing any work yet.

Also, just the weirdo factor. She brings in a water BAG. A bag of water with a spout, to staff meetings and sort of props it on the table. Then there is the glasses, the funky work outfits that just show a hint of middrift, etc. Its just stuff that they think is ok that isn't.

[This message edited by pinkpggy at 2:39 PM, December 7th (Friday)]

This is such an amazing argument because it’s set up that we can’t fight it. All we hear is “asshole millennials” and when someone dares to say “no we aren’t” it’s followed with “awe, shut up snowflake, you need a safe space? See what we mean. Ugh, millennials.” So I guess we’re all supposed to smile and take it?

No, my friend, you are not! Just as we're (Boomers) not going to just take it when being told we ruined the fucking world and that we need to hurry up and die. I'm 56. I was told by three different people to hurry up and die last month online. (I moderate a FB page.) We all need to quit generalizing, and we need not apologize for something we have literally no control over...when we were born!

The original question was “why do people hate millenials?” And honestly? I think it’s because millennial has become a catch all term that means “anyone younger than me doing things I don’t like.” Whether that means living in their parent’s basement eating tide pods, or wearing weird glasses...and when “people I hate” becomes the definition, I don’t think “why do people hate them” is the right question.

But I’m just a millennial. Who owns a house, has a couple cars, does volunteer work, raises teens, while my husband works 90 hrs a week (after being told he would NEVER get a raise again). On Fridays we hang out with other late 20-early 30somethings just like us. And maybe we talk about how obnoxious 31 yr old Zach is, however, we don’t talk about how obnoxious all Zachs are.

On Fridays we hang out with other late 20-early 30somethings just like us. And maybe we talk about how obnoxious 31 yr old Zach is, however, we don’t talk about how obnoxious all Zachs are.

That's to be expected, since you are all millennials. The question is, do you talk about how Boomers have ruined your future?

I wonder if this is something people do in real life, or just on line, where it is blown up for the click bait. I mean, pretty much every Boomer I know has millennial kids or grandkids. Why would we talk smack about loved ones? Although living in Germany now, we socialized a ton back home, and never once did I hear this bullshit about either generation. Another reason to ignore social media.

She brings in a water BAG.

Sorry, this made me LOLz

I think that as a society, elder generations see the newer generations as intolerable. Watching how Gen-X was treated when I was a kid (I'm on the older side of being a millenial, parents are baby boomers), my parents were very vocal that Gen-X was ruining the country and how my generation was in trouble. Now, in my 30s, I've been a manager of several hundred employees, ranging from baby boomers to iGen or Gen-Z or whatever, and there are definitely differences between each generation, especially when comparing people doing similar (easier) jobs. From my observations Millenials differ because of these things:

1) Consistent need for affirmation

2) Consistent need for praise even if accomplishments are minimal or literally the job they were hired to perform

3) the focus is on personal improvement rather than team effort

4) despite commitments to others, personal desire is the priority

5) likely due to age, there is a consistent lack of maturity in regards to professionalism, conversations and honesty

6) in the face of being wrong, they are adamant that they correct

7) Respect is fluid, instead of "I treat people with respect" it's more judgmental, "You do not deserve respect"

I could go on and on.

Hate is very subjective, and generations tend to hate what they see as wrong. My parents hate when I don't show up 10 minutes early (if you're not 10 minutes early, you're late), I show up on time, not early but not late either. The 18 year Olds I hire are typically 15 minutes or more late regularly. There's many variations of these types of things (parents don't use cell phones except to call, I spend a couple hours a day on mine, I cannot get my teen workers off of theirs).

I imagine that as the iGen gets older and really gets full force into the workforce, we will end up seeing Gen-X and Millenials complaining about whatever it is that the newer generations are doing to ruin the world.

Long story short: Millenials are hated because they're the most voval generation and that will change when the next generation gets a little older.

6) in the face of being wrong, they are adamant that they correct

Sorry, this made me laugh. We are living in Germany while husband attempts to right a huge mess here, and we would call #6 Being German! Twice we've even had waiters tell us we're wrong when we said "I didn't order that". Not "Oh, I must have misunderstood you", or "I'm sorry", but "This IS what you ordered!"

Also the being late if you're not there a bit early...VERY German.

My own two millennials...4,5, and 7, maybe. One son teaches chess after school. Parents are supposed to pick up kids by a certain time. He AND the other adult have to stay until every last child is picked up. Some parents are consistently 10--30 minutes late. I asked him once if those parents were closer to his age (26) or in their 40s or 50s. (He's generally teaching ten year olds.) He said the older they seem to be, the more likely they were to be late and snotty about it as well, both to the adults and to the child feeling abandoned. If HE is late, he is fired. Simple as that. He shows up 15 minutes early just to make sure he's on time.

And as for #7...if you do something to lose my respect, it DOES not just come back. And I'm soon to be 57.

Theres a level of respect everyone deserves to have for being human

And as for #7...if you do something to lose my respect, it DOES not just come back. And I'm soon to be 57.

If you choose not to respect someone for something they did to you, that's fine, many millennials do not respect anyone that has not earned it in their eyes. As an example, I just hired an 22 year old, for a "bottom of the totem" type job. One of the shift leaders told him where he would be working and his assignments for the night. This kid tells him that he doesn't want to do the assignment, wants to work in another area, and needs to leave early for some online gaming thing. So I have to have a conversation about expectations and standards, his response? We have not earned his respect and he will do work when he wants, how wants and he would appreciate if we understand how he processes things. Needless to say, hes not likely to return.

Respect shouldn't be fluid, it can be lost, it can be regained, but you shouldn't start everyone at zero. I've found that when millennials meet people with authority in their lives, they give them zero respect.