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Newlifeisgreat ( member #71308) posted at 10:31 PM on Tuesday, September 8th, 2020
Don’t confuse sex with love
Betrayed Spouse. She cheated and I filed immediately upon discovering. She never even suspected that I knew until the moment she was served with reason being Adultery. Divorced: Sept, 2018. VERY happy with new life, 0 regrets
paboy ( member #59482) posted at 12:23 AM on Wednesday, September 9th, 2020
You say that sex was the best sex that you have had.
Was this physically, emotionally or both.
Physically, just means you had a great time.
Emotional requires an emotional connection.
This is the difference from having sex, and making love.
So.. if it was emotional, there is still an attachment of strong feelings between each other.
But.. you still need to decide if this is a deal breaker for you.
The sex can be manipulative and cloud your perspective. However, your a red blooded male. Perhaps lessen the frequency and the emotion.
You have given yourself 6 months to decide, and that is a good time span. By then you would know through her actions and your feelings, what you eventually want to do.
Shehawk ( member #68741) posted at 3:01 AM on Monday, September 14th, 2020
Contracting an STD
Being manipulated
Sure if I thought about it more there would be more stuff I could put on this list. But these in retrospect would be enough for me.
In the future I intend only to engage sexually with someone with whom I have a deeply committed and fully monogomous marriage. Silly me. I thought that was what I had with the CH.
I respect myself too much too drink the kool aid of trauma hysterical bonding ever again and don't recommend it to others.
[This message edited by Shehawk at 9:01 PM, September 13th (Sunday)]
"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!
Shehawk ( member #68741) posted at 3:04 AM on Monday, September 14th, 2020
Oh yeah. I forgot that I also got the legal term that I "condoned" the adultery because I had sex with him thrown at me. No bueno for me.
"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!
Buffer ( member #71664) posted at 4:47 AM on Monday, September 14th, 2020
I got 2 cents as well.
With the shit that is going on, you are in a clear mind, IC as well as MC. Consenting adults, go for it and take the offer.
There are many who say no due to attachment building, those who think of it as a stress release. You know your mind set.
Do it.
One day at a time
pureheartkit ( member #62345) posted at 5:00 AM on Monday, September 14th, 2020
Please don't allow her to hurt you again.
You deserve authenticity not being someone's toy.
Can you find out if she is really going to change and make her priority being kind to you? Do you think you are the kind of person who can get emotionally tangled then stay in a situation where it's not healthy?
You have to look hard deep into yourself now.
It feels so good to have connection. Especially after being starved of it. Be sure to get your connection from someone who cherishes you. You're kind. You deserve kindness and respect and love.
Thank you everyone for your wisdom and healing.
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