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When she ask if you were going to be alright with her not being in the house for a few days, you should have texted back. "I'm fine and a whole lot better off than you will be when you finally realize you threw away a great life and I will never be in the house again." That will give her some food for thought. I wish you well.

I was invited out by friends tonight. I want to go... but I can't stop feeling upset. She came back home today and I don't know when she's staying at his house again. Even if I don't feel well I should go right? It will probably do good for me.

Yes, go. At this stage you may have to fake it til you make it. One caution, have a brew or two but don't medicate yourself with alcohol.

Do any of these people know about your WW? If so, I think it's great that they are taking care.

It seriously sucks that you are in that house while she is pulling that shit.

Just know two things:

You have way more support than she does. And any support she does have is based on her lying and cheating. Her family doesn't even support her.

Second, once you get this stuff in your rear view mirror your life is going to get waaay better. You are young, sane, stable and loyal. You'll have your pick of fine, faithful women.

Defo mate get yourself out and hang with friends try and take your mind off things for a few hours.

Don't bother telling her where your going or anything, its part of the 180.

I have to agree there...get you behind out there and don't tell her a thing, even if she asks.

Yep, I think you should get out of the house tonight. I agree with those above who said that you may have to fake it until you make it. Strength to you!

Yes they're aware of what the current situation is, it hasn't happened to any of them with their spouses so I feel like the odd man out. I've been getting ready and WW asked me where I was going and all I said was out and then she started asking specifics. I just said don't worry about it and she said okay... have fun. I just want to cry, I hate feeling like this. The pain hurts too much, I was doing fine until she started talking to me.

All the more reason to get out there without her.

We have all felt the pain and hurt that your feeling right now. But I'm here to tell you, you will come out on the other side better than before.

You should definitely get with your friends. Let them love on you. If they ask questions, speak the truth. Don't try to soften any of it to protect your STBXW. She has divorce douche to comfort her, you need family and friends comfort you.

I'm going to repeat myself. I've seen this movie before. You are going to have a BRIGHT future. You just can't see it yet. I'm praying for you.

Go! Enjoy your friends.

She knows that she is messing with your head by staying there...think of it this way the only people who care or cared about her are the OM and you. No family or friends. Otherwise she would have another place to go until the divorce. Can you go to your parents when she is there and then home when she's at OM?

You gotta get away from her shit. Otherwise she will say something like my xW said at MC "Why can't you just be happy for me?" Neither the MC or I could answer that one.

Afterwards the MC said that wasn't the first time she's heard that from a WS but it's very rare!!

One of you needs to move...

Yes they're aware of what the current situation is, it hasn't happened to any of them with their spouses so I feel like the odd man out

They have your back...it doesn't get any better than having friends like that.

Also get out to some comedy clubs with your friends. Laughter is one of the best medicines to help carry you through the emotiinal roller coaster ride. Anything that will make you laugh is much better than too many drinks.

We went out to dinner and just hung out afterwards. I had some to drink but not much, I feel better. WW asked me if I had fun when I got home and I just replied with "tons". She just said "good" I want you to be happy. Well I then said you know what would make me even happier? If you stopped asking me what I'm doing or where I'm going, it's none of your business. She then said sorry for everything,, she just wants me to be happy and went to go cry in our room. It took EVERYTHING not to try and comfort her, why did she have to ruin everything? I had a good time and I'm not going to cry over her all night. I've been doing that too much. I know she'll regret this one day. I gave her everything and will never make this mistake again. I cannot cry....

[This message edited by manualgtr at 11:10 PM, January 29th (Sunday)]

I don't mean to bag on your STBXW, but she still doesn't get it. She seems amazingly naive to me. She may eventually get it, but I suspect you will be out of fucks to give by then (you seem well on your way). Keep on keeping on, MGTR.

Also, she just wants you to be happy?!? Maybe she should have tried to stay off of divorce douche's dick. That probably would have made you happy, right? I guess you can be happy as long as it doesn't impede her happiness. That seems to be a theme in this story. Sweet Jesus she is dim.

Mate you did great tonight.

What you do, where you go and when no longer have anything to do with her.

Continue distancing from her and read up on the 180.

Try to get away or get out at the weekends

Good luck.

For what it's worth you did great tonight. You forced yourself and spent time with friends away. I believe your wife is "trying to be friends". In her mind if your two are friends that what she has done is not that bad. It was bad, you didn't deserve it, and you certainly don't need "friends" that would treat you that way. You had every right to tell her to leave you alone.

Hard 180 and detaching is your best way through this.

she wants you to be happy? After the history you have together, for her to so coldly rub her adultery in your face is beyond the pale.

She's really plotting on keeping the house her high school sweetheart husband had built for her, so she can move divorced douche and his kids in. How sickening is that? Wouldn't be surprised if she's pregnant before the divorce is finished. That's obviously her goal.

I really hope she's not trying to get pregnant, I don't know how I would feel if that happened. Also I'm not sure how that would effect the divorce if she becomes pregnant before it's finalized. I haven't had intercourse with her since December. It sucks that I'm not getting my needs met while my wife is giving herself to another man. I feel like I let her walk all over me during our marriage, she won't do it anymore.

Don't let it worry you...you have already filed for D so she is responsible for herself at this point, and a paternity test would cover you anyway.