I can 100% tell you they eventually "settle", often for women/men that in the past that they never would have entertained in a million years. They say they're looking now at personalities and their priorities have changed. They still keep you on speed dial in the background if you haven't cut them entirely off.
It seems to be a progression downhill, steady and persistent.
The best thing that ever happened to them they destroyed. They have a moment in time where they relish the freedom, the variety and the excitement. Then reality sets in and the consequences arrive like a train on schedule.
The train runs over them, derails all the "fun" and they spiral and rewrite history telling anyone that will listen how horrible you were and attempt to validate why they left. No one knows the truth, but it won't matter, the story always repeats with new characters.
You are now just a chapter in their life that they are angry about. You are "crazy", or unbalanced, and nothing that happened is somehow their fault. They move from woman to woman or man to man and the disfunction repeats over and over, with only slight variations. They try harder each time to secure someone, anyone so they aren't alone. Silence, and being alone are something they can't navigate. They need that ego boost, the validation they crave so desperately. Anyone will do, and it shows.
They may circle back, but you need to know it's for THEIR benefit not yours. They miss the comfort, familiar, and the benefits you provided in their now empty life. You are being sold another lie, as they are now realizing the impact and space you held in their lives.
They spend money, make promises they have no intention of keeping. They do all the things you always wanted for someone new, but that's because the "bait" they use is now sour, and they can't hide their true nature. They are UGLY inside, and it's spilling out and the mask falls for each new attempt eventually. Time is not their friend. They can't sustain the lie, the illusion long term.
Their charm fades, age sets in, and every Ex is somehow a nightmare and a horrible story that they tell.
You can watch the progression, as they desend into chaos. The men/women get less attractive, less in general. They may not be idea citizens, be recovering from addiction, criminals, or have troubled pasts. They always begin the same with shock and awe, the "love of their life" but we've seen how it ends. It ends in flames and they are added to the collection of "crazy ex's".
It still hurts to watch. You are still healing and they are on the 2-50th new attempt. You are not experiencing the same joy they are, but you will eventually be free, and healed. You are paying the price now, but they will pay the price forever, long after your pain ends.
You dodged a bullet from a gun you gave them and they shot you with. You may have given them the gun more than once, but they always shoot you with it and until you decide to stop bleeding it will never end.
What begins in chaos ends in it.
You can't force someone to love you or choose you when they have no capacity to love themselves. They are at war with the man/woman in the mirrow. Let them go, and become the best chapter of your own life.
