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GeauxTigers ( member #28301) posted at 4:14 AM on Friday, November 26th, 2010
I decided to bump this one too
Bump away, HUFI, this thread contains 25% of my WW's total posts on this board! 
Sigh, I wish she would stop by more often...
Sigh... how did I end up here?
Lost68 ( member #27515) posted at 6:32 PM on Sunday, January 2nd, 2011
stilllovingher ( member #29959) posted at 4:19 AM on Thursday, February 3rd, 2011
The only difference between a butt kisser and a brown noser is depth perception.
I'm sure WAL would agree.
HUFI-PUFI (original poster member #25460) posted at 3:42 PM on Thursday, March 10th, 2011
It was time to bump this back to the front where it might be read again and the wisdom in it shared once more. BUMP!
Don’t listen to your head, it’s easily confused. Don’t listen to your heart, its fickle. Listen to your soul, God doesn't steer you wrong.
stilllovinghim ( member #29971) posted at 1:01 AM on Saturday, April 23rd, 2011
Front of the bus! 
SLHer, thanks for the reminder.
“You have a choice. Live or die.Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. Every time you don't throw yourself down the stairs, that's a choice. Every time you don't crash your car, you re-enlist.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Survivor
Trying2Survive2 ( member #25758) posted at 2:16 AM on Saturday, April 23rd, 2011
There isn't a word in any language that defines this kind of pain. All of the existing words fall so, so short of what is truly happening inside
Ugg..so true..interesting that i posted on this thread way back in Aug..and still feel the same.
Faithful Wife ME 52
FWH 47
DDAY #1 1/11/09 EA Online ONLY (NC)
DDAY #2 6/2010 Admitted PA with the same PIG(12/08)
"Anything may be betrayed, anyone may be forgiven, but not those who lack the courage of their own greatness"
stilllovinghim ( member #29971) posted at 4:11 AM on Sunday, April 24th, 2011
“You have a choice. Live or die.Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. Every time you don't throw yourself down the stairs, that's a choice. Every time you don't crash your car, you re-enlist.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Survivor
stilllovinghim ( member #29971) posted at 4:11 AM on Sunday, April 24th, 2011
“You have a choice. Live or die.Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. Every time you don't throw yourself down the stairs, that's a choice. Every time you don't crash your car, you re-enlist.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Survivor
stilllovinghim ( member #29971) posted at 11:08 AM on Monday, May 2nd, 2011
Bumped for Confused2Be.
“You have a choice. Live or die.Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. Every time you don't throw yourself down the stairs, that's a choice. Every time you don't crash your car, you re-enlist.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Survivor
nvr flt sch pain ( member #31540) posted at 11:54 AM on Monday, May 2nd, 2011
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just to real
There's just so much that time cannot erase
When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
You still have, all of me
I tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just to real
There's just too much thjat time cannot erase.....
My immortal - Evanescence
This sums up how I feel.
Incidentally, my ring tone for my WH at the moment is Shot through the heart (Bon Jovi) because honestly I do feel a physical pain on my worst days and I do feel my view of love is forever tainted so he truly has given it a bad name.
Those letters posted could have been written by me and any other BS. There are just no words that can express the level of hurt any kind of A causes (on both sides in a lot of cases). 10 months out I still feel as raw as I did on DD. I sometimes wish the ground would just open up and swallow me as some days it is just too much for me to cope with and I see no light at the end of the tunnel. I am not suicidal, I have pets to look after and I care so much about the people I love, my family etc and view suicide as a selfish and easy way out but I just want the pain to go away and I can't see any way that it will.
Hopefully these posts will help WS see the damage they do and prevent any re-occurences, help them to support their BS and be patient when they are rocked by A tremours and to do whatever is needed to make their relationships work and to try and make amends for what they have done. Thank you for posting...
BW-2gether 13 years, wed 09/09.
Dd1 OW1 6/7/2012 - 9 mnths pa/ea. Dd2 OW1 13/8/2010. Dd3 OW1 10/10, ons and ongoing ea.
Dd4 05/11 OW2 - EA/poss PA, plus other poss ONSs,other dodgy txts.
Dd5 03/12 date sites, sex chats & porn!
01/2013 - porno se
stilllovinghim ( member #29971) posted at 8:32 AM on Sunday, May 8th, 2011
“You have a choice. Live or die.Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. Every time you don't throw yourself down the stairs, that's a choice. Every time you don't crash your car, you re-enlist.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Survivor
browniegirl ( member #31985) posted at 8:19 PM on Friday, May 20th, 2011
- I deecided to bump this one too as a selfish plug for a topic that we as WS's should never forget about. Even while they suffer in sorrow and pain over our infidelity, they love us enough to give us a chance for redemption.
Yes, exactly.
Browniegirl
BW- Me 41
WH- 42 (Striker9)
Years together- 18
Years married- 14
D-Day 2-11-11 plus TT thru 5-11
1 11 YO DS
Trying to Reconcile
stilllovinghim ( member #29971) posted at 8:49 AM on Thursday, May 26th, 2011
Bumpin cause it needs to be read again and again!!!
“You have a choice. Live or die.Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. Every time you don't throw yourself down the stairs, that's a choice. Every time you don't crash your car, you re-enlist.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Survivor
Trying2Survive2 ( member #25758) posted at 3:54 AM on Saturday, May 28th, 2011
Ohhh my..."Sniff sniff.."
Spot on.....
Shared with my
love
Wanting help..
ty you for this post..
xoxox
Faithful Wife ME 52
FWH 47
DDAY #1 1/11/09 EA Online ONLY (NC)
DDAY #2 6/2010 Admitted PA with the same PIG(12/08)
"Anything may be betrayed, anyone may be forgiven, but not those who lack the courage of their own greatness"
Shauna ( member #31779) posted at 4:48 AM on Saturday, May 28th, 2011
The BS hurts to the depth of their soul. I feel absolutely trapped. If I leave, the hurt will go with me and then other innocent people (esp my kids) will be hurt as well. If I stay, I will "save" everyone else the hurt and the hurt stays with me alone. I have no choice except to stay.
BS: 59 female
WS: 60
married 38 years (or so I thought. I don't consider myself married any longer).
2 adult children who don't know
first d-day: 2/05/11
2nd d-day: 3/11/11
3 affairs that he has admitted to, 2 short term, 1 w
Burl ( member #31747) posted at 7:40 AM on Sunday, May 29th, 2011
I'm so sorry I inflicted this pain on my bs. Never again!
me FWH, 43,
wife BS 43
5 beautiful kids, 6-14 y.o.
DDAY Dec 2010
MC since Dec 2010
both going to IC
LTA
Doing everything I can to help my beautiful wife heal from the anguish and pain I have caused.ounting on a miracle
hear-me-roar ( member #17962) posted at 8:34 AM on Monday, May 30th, 2011
I'm glad I floated over here to this wayward side. Although, I am the BS. After almost five years since D-day (add a 2nd D-day a year & half after with the same OW), I have come to realize that my head will never be cleared of the hurt of betrayal & lies. It is nice to read this post of new devotion through your understanding of what is a permanent condition within your continued marriage.
In some form, my obsessive thoughts of my husband's affair filter into every daily connection I have with him. I rarely speak it at the time but it is wearing on me that I don't seem to have control of it for myself even after so long. Sometimes that saying applies to the FWS, "damned if you do and damned if you don't". I can be in the best tender moment place with him and here come the thoughts: is this affection really still hers? does she really have your heart? are you in another lie of bullcrap and contacting her? And so-on. Those thoughts consume me whenever an endearing moment lasts more than that. Is it for real or are you just the best con-man ever? We didn't have a perfect marriage before his affair. Actually, it is much better now. But to now live in doubt of a man that I am crazy about just rips me up inside. I read about "post traumatic stress" syndrome and I think it's exactly what a BS lives with.
stilllovinghim ( member #29971) posted at 2:14 AM on Tuesday, August 2nd, 2011
BUMP!!! 
“You have a choice. Live or die.Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. Every time you don't throw yourself down the stairs, that's a choice. Every time you don't crash your car, you re-enlist.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Survivor
lilgal ( member #32348) posted at 7:48 AM on Tuesday, August 2nd, 2011
Thank you Hufi for posting this and Im glad I wandered across it because sometimes I just cant find the words.
It is good to cry...
So what do we do when the memory/pain comes back of all the lies, deceitfulness, and disregard for the faithful spouse?
I PRAY... To no longer hold the act against my partner.
MrsSprky99 ( member #32895) posted at 5:55 PM on Tuesday, August 2nd, 2011
This is a fantastic thread...thanks to all who contributed to it!!!
BW (me) - 47
WH (him) - 53
Married - 14 years
3 Children - 25, 24 from first relationship & 10 y/o with WH
D-Day: June 11, 2011
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