This Topic is Archived
andyd1950 ( member #20018) posted at 7:01 PM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011
It's been over 20 years since my WW's A.
I still get "mind movies".
You can forgive but NEVER forget.
BS (me) - 61
fWW (her)- 57
Married 39 years March 17,2012
Forgiving, that's easy.
Trusting again, that's hard.
Forgetting, impossible!
"When you take things for granted, the things you are granted get taken away."~ RevRun.
sudra ( member #30143) posted at 7:07 PM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011
Gosh, as long as three weeks? Should only take 7-10 days.
NOT!!!!!!
It take 2-5 years at best to rebuild a marriage after infidelity. Cannot hardly imagine being "over it" in anything like 3 weeks.
I'm 7 months out and just beginning to have days that I don't think about it every day. And that's with a husband who is doing everything right and "gets it."
Me (BW) (5\64), Him(SAWH) (68)Married 31 years, 1 son (28), 1 stepdaughter (36) DDay #1 January 2004DDay #2 7-27-2010 7 month EA/PA (became "engaged" to OW before he told me he wanted a divorce)Working on R
beachmama ( new member #30746) posted at 7:15 PM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011
I am not over it 5 months out. my husband thinks I should be though... 
wonderingbull ( member #14833) posted at 7:19 PM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011
Nope... Coming up on 4 years... Still pisses me off...
WB
The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time...
James Taylor
13yrsGone ( member #31351) posted at 7:20 PM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011
sorry feb 8 if i sounded like i was making light of your situation .... i just want my wife back even if it was just in the house and she didn't love like she said she didn't i feel pathetic for feeling this way ... i'm not sure whats wrong with me
Live for the future I know its your prerogative but when you just live for the past you become a part of it.
trynhard ( member #22698) posted at 7:23 PM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011
No
It took be 20 months to slowly start to come out.
I still think about it everyday... but out of my depression and mostly happy all the the time.
[This message edited by trynhard at 1:24 PM, March 1st (Tuesday)]
doesitgetbetter ( member #18429) posted at 7:31 PM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011
Nope. I'm 3.5 years almost since DDay, and I still have triggers, we STILL talk about his infidelity, and I still wouldn't call myself a well adjusted person immune to anything at this point. Happy, mostly, but not even that all the time.
WW is in for a looooong hard road, but I can promise you that my H thinks that every minute of it is worth it. Not just because our M is so much better now, but also because HE is so much better now!
DDay - Dec '07
Me - BS
Him - WS
Us - working on R - again
May 18, 2010 - I forgave him fully!
D-day 2 July 4, 2015, turns out he is a SAWH, status, working harder than before
May 22, 2019 -slip/relapse. He forgot he has to work forever
slippedhalo ( member #31159) posted at 7:32 PM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011
Its been over a year since Dday and no, not even close.
VeryVeryConfused ( member #21776) posted at 7:45 PM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011
No. It has been years. It took over 21 days to get over the shock.
BS (me)
WH
Seperated in same house
Seperated in the same house
A turn in the road is not the end of the road unless you fail to make the turn.
lynnm1947 ( member #15300) posted at 7:48 PM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011
Are you off your rocker? Or more to the point, is she????? In 21 days, one isn't even past the "I wanna smash his head in with a 2 x 4" stage. Tell her that.
[This message edited by lynnm1947 at 1:52 PM, March 1st (Tuesday)]
Age: 64..ummmmmmm, no...............65....no...oh, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!
"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks
Still_in_shock ( new member #29031) posted at 7:53 PM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011
Seriously????
Not only NO but HELL NO!
BH - 48
WW - 43,
OM - 28,
Two kids - 20,22
Married 21 Years
D-Day - Feb 22, 2010
D-Day 2 Mar 12, 2010
D-Day 3 April 2010
D-Day 4 July 2010
solus sto ( member #30989) posted at 7:57 PM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011
No. Especially not with a partner who blames him for having the audacity to have emotional response that doesn't fit her timetable.
BS-me, 62; X-irrelevant; we’re D & NC. "So much for the past and present. The future is called 'perhaps,' which is the only possible thing to call the future. And the important thing is not to let that scare you." Tennessee Williams
isthisforreal ( member #30926) posted at 8:09 PM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011
NO, NO a thousand times NO!!!
BW me 47
WH him 52
married 24 years
DD 9/15/10
3 incredible teenage daughters
"it only hurts when I breathe"
confused615 ( member #30826) posted at 8:10 PM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011
BS(me)44
FWH 48
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
deeplysad ( member #16590) posted at 8:13 PM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011
It will be six years in Sept since I found out about the A.
Some days, I feel almost as devastated as I did at the very beginning of this nightmare.
Me: BW - I'm much too young to feel this damn old
Him: FWH - Midlife crisis with a pathetic porn wannabe
D-Day: August 2004; Lots of false R until February 2005.
isadora ( member #29130) posted at 8:17 PM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011
I am 8 months out and no I am not over it. Never will be. Just had a meltdown last night over a trigger. and WH has been doing most things right the last 2 months.
Me: BW Him: who cares
Divorced: 4/2015
2 DDs and 2DSs
Who knows how many affairs at this point
Multiple D-Days
I can only control myself, no one else. I do not have that kind of power.
SabinatheOwl ( member #30023) posted at 8:18 PM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011
LOL 
Really?? Um..NO
~ Sabina
Details & story in profile
"Live a life not an apology." Edward R.Murrow
"I can be changed by what happens to me but I refuse to be reduced by it."
Maya Angelou
shattered123 ( member #27843) posted at 8:23 PM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011
No. One year out, and still struggling. This pain will probably never completely go away. I hope your wife is not trying to sweep this mess under the rug!!
bufffalo ( member #21854) posted at 8:27 PM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011
2 years last September - DDay.....Nope! (and after a 2 month fog - the FWW did ALL the "right things").... 
...
3 weeks and i was still on the "infidelity diet" - dont recommend it either...
Again.....NO!!
Bufffalo
[This message edited by bufffalo at 2:53 PM, March 1st (Tuesday)]
gma56 ( member #19595) posted at 8:28 PM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011
No
It takes 2-5 years to heal from infidelity R or D it takes a very long time. It gets better with time but not 3 wks. The worse is yet to come.6 mo- 1.5 yrs was the worse for me.
gma
BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.
This Topic is Archived
