SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

"I've had a really, really "hard" talk with STBX about trial and what will happen should she continue on her current path.

So as of an hour ago, she is willing to pay the $3000 lump sum alimony and the $1753.41 that she removed from the joint bank account. Also, she is requesting an equitable division of the household goods. If Abbondad wants to keep more than his share of the household goods, he will have to reimburse her.

I understand that you are probably beyond frustrated at this point. However, I think we can still resolve this."

Is it bad that all i heard was the lawyer saying

"This batshit crazy woman of a client is driving me up the wall, and I really don't know if I want to represent her in a trial.

Please, please, pretty please just make a deal so I dont have to do this....Please <insert puppy dog face> <insert sad cat eyes>"

Joking aside....here's the thing at this point. There are things that you can not give on (ie the money situation) and there are things that are probably ant hills that are being made into bigger hills (ie the TV)

Don't lose sight on the actual important parts. The TV can be replaced - seriously. And really, your children are not going ot care What TV it is, just that you have one.

If you honestly and truely do not think that you will fiscally survive a trial. Then you need to seriously consider what you are willing to compromise on, because even if you go to trial, you probably will not get every thing that you want either.

You are doing really really well....just don't lose sight of what is truely important just to prove a point elsewhere.

The TV Saga continues. Here is her attorney's latest Email:

Of these items STBX is requesting the big tv, her bike, her grandmother's dresser, washer/dryer, and either the iPad or the computer and printer. The big tv is the thing she really, really wants. Let me know what Abbondad thinks, but the tv will really help with STBX's emotional state. I know...I don't get it either, but it is what the client wants.... I think she will be happy if she can get the big tv, her bike, the dresser, and either the iPad or the computer and printer.

I think I "get it" even if her attorney does not:

When STBX was rewriting our marriage, she constantly cited as a reason she was so unhappy was that I played too many video games on...our big-screen TV. So taking it away from me? Batshit-Crazy vengeance??

Oh, and here were her other complaints about how monstrous I was (when asked by our MC at the time). I am serious. This is what she came up with:

I will not cease my adultery because Abbondad:

Plays too many video games (would she rather I'd gone to strip clubs?)

Did not want to go to Harvard Square when we went to Boston ten years ago (We'd had an exhausting, wonderful day walking around. I'd had it.)

Would not "let me" get leather seats when we purchased our car (We didn't have much money at the time so I expressed my veto.)

Is very impatient when teaching me how to use a computer (I don't even know what to say.)

Chewed too much Nicotine gum (Guess I should have smoked instead)

[This message edited by Abbondad at 1:24 PM, March 21st (Friday)]

I think you hit the nail on the head, AD. It's a victory to her to hit you where she *thinks* it will hurt you most.

Of these items STBX is requesting the big tv, her bike, her grandmother's dresser.

Fine, they are things - replaceable....fine.

She can suck it on the W/D, that will have to stay with the house - sucks to be her.

Honestly - its on you for the other stuff.

Or....you can play her game.

She can have the whole lot of she continues to agree to pay the lump $3000, return the 1753. 41, and agrees to $700/month CS payments....She want's the stuff so bad, she can pay for it...I would love to see the smoke that comes out of her ears from that.

(well, except her grandmother's dresser...i am not fond of keeping family things like that from other family, but that's just me)

Let her have the tv and then go buy a bigger one as soon as you can. That will teach her!

Yea, big screen TVs have come down so much in price in the last few years. Let her have it and get this over with.

Being divorced from her is worth a lot more than a big screen. Make sure she knows that. Besides, don't you want to make sure she knows she is doing you a favor because you REALLY wanted, but couldn't justify purchasing, a newer, bigger, and badder big screen to play your games on?

That should piss her off.

[This message edited by POed at 5:02 PM, March 21st (Friday)]

"This batshit crazy woman of a client is driving me up the wall, and I really don't know if I want to represent her in a trial.

Please, please, pretty please just make a deal so I dont have to do this....Please <insert puppy dog face> <insert sad cat eyes>"

(now that I'm done laughing......)

I'm not asking for a list of your household goods or anything, but is that ALL that crazywoman is asking for? Earlier she wanted an equitable division of the household goods and said that if *you* wanted to keep more than your share, then you'd have to reimburse her.

But she's only *asking* for, like, 5 things? -- 2 of which are basically *hers* anyway (bike, gma's dresser)?

Is the w/d even an option? Was it included in the sale of your house? Does your new place have a w/d available?

Gonnabe (and everyone),

That it's come down to this--three days of attorneys talking about a TV and other "things" is incredible. Division of household stuff was the one area we never had any strife over--until around three weeks ago, when I asked her if I could take the dresser for DD's room. I can't explain it other than she is panicking as the days to trial tick down and she is losing control.

In any case, everything I have taken (and to which she agreed! No, not in writing) is the bare minimum to start my new little home: couch, table, TV, beds, two cheapo bookcases and a dresser for our son. That's it. Literally. She took everything else, and I had and have no problem with that. I guess I shouldn't be disturbed at her behavior by now, but I still am.

Oh, the washer and dryer: I have to take these because my rental home does not come with them. Also, I purchased (myself of course) the washer only a few months ago. Now that I recall, she was strangely upset that I had done that--bought a new washing machine without informing her. Huh? She moved out over a year ago!

Anyway, I am standing firm on everything I need (she even wants the kids' beds! Yes, they have beds at her residence plus everything else). If she wants the TV and that's all that's preventing her from signing the MSA agreeing to all my terms, fine. Take the TV. Just go away, please.

Ten days til trial or signed MSA. I'm still betting trial. If so, I am resigned and prepared.

Tell her she can have the stupid tv - if it's gone and you replace it with a new one, then there's no trigger involved with the tv - but you keep the washer/dryer. Period. Good riddance all the way around. Your atty is charging far more for all this messing around than it will cost you for a new tv. You could buy a 60" with what you'd save on the bargaining.

Shocking news! STBX has changed her mind! She is not going to sign the MSA after all! But her attorney believes that if we just give her the TV, she will sign and trial will be cancelled.

Clearly she has a lot to learn about my STBX. I give her the TV? She still won't sign. I guarantee. She will just move on to the next thing--the couch, the table, CS, alimony--until she gets everything she wants.

So I told my attorney she is welcome to the TV. But first sign the MSA.

This has nothing to do with a television set. She is mentally ill. Period.

She IS mentally ill. I still cannot stop the thought that is telling me to tell you this: On Monday morning, put the big screen TV into your car, drive to your stbx's L's office and dump it there with a big old "here ya go, now let's wrap this shit up" note attached.

Stbxww wants the kid's beds from your house even though she already has beds for them? Seriously? Why? At this point I think I would tell my L to call her L and tell her that her client (you) thinks your stbxww is bat-shitfuckingcrazy and is going to get shredded in court, and you aren't going to agree to ANY of her lame-assed ploys.

But if she can get your stbxww to sign a MSA that you are okay with in exchange for a TV......do it!

Shocking news! STBX has changed her mind! She is not going to sign the MSA after all!

OMG! Really? Why, I thought having the children in a safe loving nurturing home was her priority! Why, I'm stunned, stunned I tell you!

/sarc

She's going to take this as far as she can get it. None of it means anything other than her believing she is in control of this situation.

Do you have a list of what she has already taken? Could be of value in future negotiations/settlements.

Keep it up. You're doing good.

You guys might get a chuckle out of this (regarding the fight over the TV) --

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/03/21/divorce-stories_n_5008367.html

The latest email from CSTBX's attorney:

Ok...thank you for the big screen tv. Can she still have her bike and the extra printer that Abbondad indicated are just sitting in the garage? Also, she is requesting the dresser and grandfather clock which were from her grandmother. DD doesn't have a dresser at CSTBX's.

My response:

"Good god. Of course she can. She was always expected to take the grandfather clock and her bike. And I asked her numerous times if she wanted the dresser and if she did not, that DD needs it here. She never responded. I put the printer in the garage among her other stuff."

Her attorney will foolishly breathe a sigh of relief. And will then reel in agony when CSTBX does not stop there.

Marking my place...

...she's going to be so deflated that you said yes

Look for the current W's attorney to withdraw any day and especially to leave before it goes to trial.

And I wish you had said NO to the TV fiasco. Enough is enough!

[This message edited by Jeaniegirl at 2:48 PM, March 22nd (Saturday)]

Do you have a list of what she has already taken? Could be of value in future negotiations/settlements.

Yes, I have put together a list and submitted it to my attorney. It comes out to be approximately the same. But it really doesn't matter. This has zero to do with her desire for the things themselves; as you point out, 545, it is all about NBPD control. She feels it slipping away and is grasping desperately at anything.

I still maintain that she will never sign the MSA unless she gets everything she wants--specifically, no alimony, no paying me back for drawing against my personal funds, no retroactive CS, no paying me back for kids' med expenses and college fund, and CS based upon a non-existent low-paying job.

She will try for another continuance, it will be denied, and we will go to trial.

((((AD))))

You are right. This has NOTHING to do with a tv, with a dresser, with a bike, etc etc.....

You are doing a great job. She is full of shit. CSTBXWW, meet reality - it's that thing slapping you in the face.

I'm sorry that you are going through this, but unfortunately you are dealing with crazy

You can get cheap furniture from a thrift shop. (No shame in that, WH and I are both university professors, and we were able to save enough money this way to pay off our house. And your kids can get an early lesson!)

She is crazy to act like she's fighting over 'stuff'. It's not about the stuff, it's about control. Lawyer number 3 (or is it 4 already) is in for a rude awakening. Oh well, not. your. problem.

Hang in there, it will (I hope) all be over soon enough.

((((AD))))

Are you ready for the next "this one thing and she will sign" message? You know she won't stop with this nonsense and her new lawyer doesn't know her and all her craziness.

As the end gets nearer she will hate losing any means get to you, but she will continue using the littles to punish you. What a woman....sheesh.