SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Gary,

Are you still planning on keeping STBXW and your stepson on your insurance? If so I would use that to require some kind of visitation with your stepson. If she refuses to let you see him after agreeing to visitation, cancel the insurance. Your lawyer could sort out the details.

Gary,

She sounds selfish and totally immature - she sits at home in her own soap opera and now is getting to live out that script.

If you have a chance to talk with her dad, I'd blow that world up - let him know that she's addicted to soap operas, glamorizing her life in the public eye and slandering you in the process and hurting her son, who you'd like to have a relationship with, but she's making that impossible for you to do with her immaturity.

As for her, if you go through mediation, have your attorney mention the slander that she's been doing on social media and in the community and that for her son's sake, that needs to stop yesterday.

And spousal support for less than 10 years of marriage? should be minimal. Make sure all dollars paid out to her before the divorce get calculated into the final tally, because she will blow through that in no time and not be able to continue to feed her son.

Like I said - probably the most immature 36 year old I've ever read about on this board. she acts like she's 16 and living in her "General Hospital" world.

Great advice by antlered, just above.

On a website full of selfish WS stories, Gary, your WW's selfishness really does stand out as extreme. That's saying something, here. AND, you stand out as a good dude.

Hang in there bud.

Well after reading your points and finding out what she is attending I did finally take off my wedding ring. Kind of sucks but its over anyway I was trying to be respectful that I was still married even though just waiting out this process.

I have offered to keep my step son on my insurance for a year not my wife. I am not going to try to get some type of visitation anymore from her for it. After she tried to drum up that nonsense of me grabbing her son or smoking pot I am over it. I told my lawyer don't let me interfere anymore just do what you do.

I appreciate people thinking nice things of me in here but I wouldn't say my wife is the worse on here. Yes it feels like that at times but I read some real horror stories from guys on the forum that makes her look like wife of the year. She is just a person that is very spoiled and entitled at the end of the day.

Hi Gary,

I've been following your story and I'm glad to see you're doing okay. Hang in there and keep following the advice of your lawyer and some of the fine folks here. You will get through this - and there is a bright and shiny future waiting for you on the other side.

Just a suggestion - it might be beneficial to you to start referring to your wife as your STBXW (soon-to-be-ex-wife), especially here in these forums. Once I started thinking of my then-husband as my STBXH, disconnecting from him actually became a bit easier, and once I started referring to him as STBXH and typing it out repeatedly seemed to solidify that new position, in my mind at least. Little steps like this do help.

Oh, and one more thing, my friend. You're a good, hardworking, honorable fellow so I can kind of understand why you're doing it, but you need to stop making statements like this:

She is just a person that is very spoiled and entitled at the end of the day.

Gary, she's so, so, so much more than that. She is a liar, she is a manipulator, she is an unremorseful cheater and she thinks nothing of ripping her son away from the only father he has ever known as a punishment to you for not simply lying down and allowing her to walk all over you. *That* extends far beyond "very spoiled and entitled", IMO.

It's okay to be angry, Gary, and it's okay to hate your STBXW for awhile. It's all part of the process...but it's NOT okay to rugsweep the damage she's done or keep her on that pedestal...so don't. Allow yourself to see her as she truly, honestly IS and then allow yourself to feel some righteous indignation for what she's done to you, your family and your world.

Just my 2 cents worth.

ExposedNiblet, point taken and thanks for telling. As you can see on my back and forth in here sometimes I need a good kick in the ass to get moving on. This is good for me to hear.

Hello, I know been awhile since I posted on my thread but some great people here have reached out to check in so I thought I take a minute to say thanks to everyone here that helped me. It was very nice and valuable for me.

I have not been updating on here as I am way past just finding out and just learned some people don't post in all sections so since my divorce (barring some last minutes jam up from her) final in couple weeks I might move to the Divorce and Separated section. If people on here don't post on there i wanted you all to know thank you for your help. I try to tell others just coming on here to liste to the posters as they can help best i can.

There are some things i am still struggling with i hate to say, so maybe I will go over there if need be. Whats nice about here is others know the deal and have experience. Friends and family mean well but they have their own busy lives and you don't want that to always be the topic you know.

Anyway just wanted to give thanks that was due. I wish I could have helped you that helped me.

[This message edited by Gary1995 at 11:34 AM, July 11th (Monday)]

Anyway just wanted to give thanks that was due. I wish I could have helped you that helped me.

Gary

You have helped me just by talking thru your issues whilst following your story as you went from disbelief to taking charge of the situation all the while standing by your principles and the values that you had regarding your M.

Sending you strength in the years ahead

You're going to be fine. You had no other choice.

There are bad people in this world and you married into a whole family of them. Luckily you got it figured out.

Good for you.

notanotherchance, thank you for that very kind to say. I hope you are doing better in your situation now.

See watched you work two jobs, and acted embarrassed that you were doing so.

You are better off without her: straight up. If you ever needed her support in a major way she would not have been there.

It is better you found that out now.

No bullshit - that is the simple truth.