big3mom (original poster new member #86611) posted at 11:51 PM on Tuesday, October 21st, 2025
Any infidelity within same sex marriages?
My wife cheated on me with a friend.
It gets old constantly hearing in podcasts and books about cheating husbands. Would love some insight on women cheating on women,
i am the betrayed spouse
my wife is the wayward spouse
i have to see the affair partner weekly.
Unhinged ( member #47977) posted at 12:14 AM on Wednesday, October 22nd, 2025
Hello, big3mom. Welcome to the greatest club that no one ever wanted to join.
In the "I Can Relate" forum there's a thread entitled: "Spouses with Same Gender APs" It's not very active.
Generally speaking, same sex marriages aren't that different when it comes to surviving infidelity. I think you'll find the same support and guidance applies.
So, feel free to share.
Married 2005
D-Day April, 2015
Divorced May, 2022
"The Universe is not short on wake-up calls. We're just quick to hit the snooze button." -Brene Brown
Pogre ( member #86173) posted at 12:46 AM on Wednesday, October 22nd, 2025
Sorry you're in a position that led you here. You'll find alot of folks who can relate to your pain
There are plenty of threads with betrayed husbands whose wives have cheated on them. I'd guess it's probably close to about a 50/50 split between the sexes here. There aren't many same sex threads, but I would imagine the stories, trauma and advice would still apply. Betrayal is betrayal, afterall.
The fact that it was with a friend adds another layer of betrayal to it, but again, it's not that uncommon. Check out the pinned posts at the top, and check out the healing library. There's a wealth of information in there.
[This message edited by Pogre at 12:49 AM, Wednesday, October 22nd]
Where am I going... and why am I in this handbasket?
leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 2:48 AM on Wednesday, October 22nd, 2025
Hi big3mom, and welcome to SI. In the JFO (Just Found Out) forum, there are posts pinned to the top that we encourage new members to read. There are also some posts there that aren't pinned and have great information, which you can find by looking for the bull's eye icon. The Healing Library is at the top of the site and has a lot of good resources.
We do have some members with same sex relationships and others where their opposite sex partner cheated with a same sex partner.
If you can, IC (individual counseling) with a betrayal trauma specialist can be helpful. As mentioned, betrayal is betrayal. Our brains don't differentiate between betrayal trauma and trauma from having a cheetah chase you down for dinner. And you have suffered a double betrayal because the AP was a friend, so it's another knife in the back.
Please take care of yourself now. If you're having trouble with depression or sleep, please talk to your doctor for some meds or possible other supplements may help.
BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21
