SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Wasn't anything he specifically did. A season, a misunderstanding, and I spiraled...HARD. It's been 7 years.

I had been feeling so much better. I was working on trying to focus on the A being part of our story, part of mine....but not the whole.

FWH was defensive a bit at first, but handled it well. Just feel like I've been absolutely macerated.

That is all.

Ladybugmaam,

That is all.

No, no, that is a lot. And completely normal. This is why I refuse to refer to my wife and my reconciliation as a completed project. It has been my experience that success stays and leaves. Often the length of time it stays increases and the length of time the it leaves shortens but the pain caused by infidelity silently lingers in the shadows of success.

Asterisk

[This message edited by Asterisk at 11:08 PM, Thursday, October 23rd]

Anything else going on? I find that if I’m overly stressed tired and eating crappy. I am easily triggered. The stress is the worst though. If I’m in a time crunch with lots of demands I find I get triggered and start ruminating. Wife isn’t doing anything off kilter it’s just my minds neurons firing.

I'm 9 yrs+ out. I still spiral at times. I didn't join in the recent 2-5 yrs recovery, etc. conversation because maybe I'm an outlier, but it's been longer for me. I didn't have that expectation for myself either though.

Your positivity and your resiliency with dealing with the OW and your sport and life have always been admirable.

The thing about a setback or questionable action for me is that there is no great way to handle it. In a normal marriage, you confront a problem head on and communicate. After infidelity if you find something suspicious, you know you can't just talk to your spouse. If they are involved again, they will just lie and hide it further.

I don't mean to be a downer. It's just different now. Even when it's all fine, it's different.

Jailedmind…yes… been off for a couple of months dealing with some foot issues. Endurance exercise kind of provided some mental support and also some triggers. Haven’t been able to work out for a couple of months. Was just cleared today.

Kitchendepth….I don’t think there is new contact. It was more of a situation where he didn’t know about another couples affair (or didn’t remember-ish…hence my spiral) and didn’t think. I knew about it. He allegedly didn’t know and it would seem….after all these years….seriously didn’t think I’d be at all triggered.

Had a very long conversation about him needing to step up on the sensitivity. I’m always going to be hyper aware of affair crap.

He did handle it well. Has been trying to take care of me….and at the moment….I just want to retreat to a cave and acknowledge that all humans are assholes.

It’s hard to be open to repair after these things.