SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Infidelity forces you to look at yourself, you will discover things about yourself that you never knew, you will discover things about yourself you don’t like and you will discover things that you want to change.

I learned a lot. Mostly I learned that no matter how hard you try to be the best, control and protect everyone and everything it doesn’t work!, you are wasting your time, you can only control yourself - so relax. People are who they are, you can’t make people fit in your shape sorter, they are the ones that decide what and who they want to be and where they want to fit - so relax. People that love us can sometimes hurt us and in the most horrific ways, this one is a very difficult thing to understand but I know this to be true.

We had therapy this morning, our therapist said we can have another session in a months time but as in terms of what she can now do for us, we’re graduates. I’m not sure how I feel about this as I expected to be going for years but I’m
Pleased.

I learned that once you decide you’re not scared anymore you will be liberated.

I’m not scared anymore.

Bruce123

Infidelity forces you to look at yourself, you will discover things about yourself that you never knew, you will discover things about yourself you don’t like and you will discover things that you want to change.

I couldn't agree more and I am right there with you. It's very unfortunate that sometimes it takes the worse things to bring about change. We all have room for improvement and change in our life. After all that I have been through I can clearly see what I needed to do better in my relationship and marriage. In the end it was quite easy for me to learn and be a better husband. With all of that said you are also right about the things we can control and that is ourselves. I could have been the perfect husband and said and did everything right over the many years of our marriage and still be at the mercy of my wife's choice's and weaknesses which are something she has to work on and I can't fix. Like you, I'm not scared anymore because I am only in control of myself and it was quite a journey to get to this point. It's a natural reflex to think that I was the problem and I had shortcomings but it all came down to her choices and her shortcomings and weaknesses. She had many choices to choose from and she chose Infidelity. I don't wake up worrying about it anymore. It's always good to hear from someone else that walks in your shoes through the painful journey of infidelity.

Lost1313

Bruce123 -

you can only control yourself

So true.

It is a very powerful thing to let go of all the things we cannot control.

Fear included.

Sounds like you are well on your way to healing up -- nice work!

May your healing continue.