SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

5 months since finding out and I’m doing worse. I find it so hard to be present emotionally with my 3 and 7 year old. Every task seems like climbing a mountain. Anyone feel similar? Did medication help? This is just honestly so unfair. Definitely having a "poor me" moment. It’s so hard to even type out what I feel.

RLF, yes it is typical.

I had medications, they numb you but did not help me.

Introspection and mindfulness could, as sharing some of what you feel.
Can you try to share your feelings here?

If it might help you you will be heard.

Are you in IC? If so, have you brought this up with your IC? What has your IC suggested? If you're not in IC, have you considered finding a good IC to work with? That might lead to a faster resolution than finding the right drug and dosage.

Meds can help, but meds are not universally effective. If you're interested, my reco is to find a psychiatrist who knows the meds and follow their advice. Your GP is probably not current on the choices.

At the same time, deep sadness is a natural consequence of being betrayed. If grief is interfering with your interactions with your kids, maybe taking some time to mindfully feel your grief will do what you need done.

I’m sorry you are going through this. The ups and downs of healing are brutal. It’s crazy roller coaster ride. At 5 months the shock is wearing off and the reality of how awful infidelity is starts sinking in.

This funk lasted to the 8-10 month mark, I didn’t take meds but started working out and cleaning up my nutrition. Food wasn’t desirable anyway so I made drastic changes to my diet and lifestyle. As I was making gains physically my self esteem started to come back, I’m not saying everything was rosey, just much better. That 8m-1yr mark the anger phase hits and it’s a doozy, not that you weren’t already angry it just hits different later after some clarity.

Stick around and share your struggles there is a lot of experience here.

Be careful turning to meds. There isn't really any magic pill. I know they've helped many people, but I had a bad experience with an SSRI. I went into a deep funk on it and just stopped caring about anyone or anything, and it contributed to some major problems in my marriage. There are some side effects I wasn't warned about, but discovered later. It not only made me not care about anyone, it also killed my libido and led to dysfunction, and that lingered for a couple of years after weaning off of them. So stopping doesn't always solve the problem.