I usually am on the R forum. But, I need a OW to weigh in. I’m 7 years post DDay. We did the hard work and have reaped the rewards. I’m grateful for where we are, just not why.
My question is…..we’re in a small community. Mine was a double betrayal. I’ve made it abundantly clear that OW will never again be a friend of mine. She is worthy of friendship, just not from me. I do my best to look through her when our paths do cross. And they cross a lot.
Over the last 7 years, she’s shown up volunteering at my races. We were all triathletes. Volunteering at training sessions in open water swimming. That’s sort of fine. I know she has friends there too. What really bothers me, is it feels like she’s following me around. Sitting close to me, it seems almost that she wants to eavesdrop….or talk to me….or something. I don’t know. Or we’ll run into each other at the supermarket, and it feels like she’s following me around.
It feels intrusive and stalker-y. It ebbs and flows. I know her well enough to know that I’m not worried about my safety. Though, I did consult and attorney who advised me that this isn’t technically stalking.
My question for the OW out there….is WHY? Why bother? Is it to intentionally make me jump into flight or fight?? Is she thinking we’ll be friends? Maybe sorry? She did apologize, but it was clearly aimed at letting me know that my husband also cheated. "I’m sorry I didn’t refuse his advances". Is she looking for some sign of forgiveness? Whether I have or have not forgiven her will be something I do for me. She’s reached out to me a couple of times. My response is always, don’t talk to me.
