hauntedeveryday (original poster new member #87054) posted at 10:54 PM on Monday, February 16th, 2026
New member.
I honestly wasn't sure if would post.
I feel like I have no one cause who can you really talk to about this? Sure my feelings are valid but what I did automatically gives me a Scarlet A. No one wants to empathize with a WW and I get it. It truly just is hard when you are genuinely remorseful and want to heal.
I am not sure if I'm ready to share my story publicly so please be kind. My A happened decades ago. I just still have residual guilt and regret.
I know my whys and am now a safe partner. Just would love to hear from others. Thanks.
feelingverylow ( member #85981) posted at 11:32 PM on Monday, February 16th, 2026
Definitely seen and heard. You can read my posts, but I recently disclosed my affair that ended 20 years ago. So grateful my wife is willing to work on reconciling, but I battle shame, regret, and guilt every day. I often reference the trauma I have from the affair, but had a hard time even admitting that as it feels wrong to reference trauma I feel when the trauma I caused is so painful to my wife.
Monday is therapy day and we have been working on self-compassion. Not sure if you have ever done IC, but has been helpful for me. Lots of experienced people on this site and you will find lots of helpful advice.
Wishing you the best.
Me - WH (53) BS (52) Married 31 years
LTA 2002 - 2006 DDay 09/07/2025
Trying to reconcile and grateful for every second I have this chance
hauntedeveryday (original poster new member #87054) posted at 12:04 AM on Tuesday, February 17th, 2026
Thank you for your response fvl. I appreciate it.
I have followed your story while lurking.
I do hear you about the A trauma. I only have fragmented memories now due to mine.
My IC has been ok. She is focusing on self compassion and forgiveness. She suggested finding support from others since I dont want to discuss it with anyone irl.
