WaryOptimist (original poster member #19911) posted at 6:22 PM on Monday, March 2nd, 2026
First off: If my post is not appropriate in this forum, please reclass or notify me.
I am a SA survivor, something I thought I had dealt with/handle still fairly successfully.
But the Epstein saga is in the news everywhere, with abuse being graphically described. And suddenly I realize that what's being detailed is exactly what my mom's pig of a boyfriend did to me at that same age of 12.
I can't shake it. It's not my husband with me, it's the pig. Unfortunate that my H is now as old as the pig was when the SA happened, with grey hair to boot.
When I intentionally try to fantasize it morphs to the pig. It's been held in check for over 50 years and now it's almost daily. Does anyone have this same situation? Does anyone have any suggestions? Many thanks, WO
Me: The faithful one Him: WS 4 incredible, grown kids Married 37 years, together 44 D-Day: April 1, 2006 (yep, April Fool's Day...)Aaaas Yoouuu Wiiiish...
number4 ( member #62204) posted at 10:43 PM on Monday, March 2nd, 2026
I'm having the same issue and feeling so hopeless when I see how many people of power are going to get away with this. It is incredibly triggering... every damned day. People say, "Well, don't watch the news." But a part of me says to myself, why should I let these fuckers dictate what I can and can't do.
I actually brought this up with my therapist last week and told her I was so enormously exhausted by it all and she said it's such a frequent story in therapy sessions across the board right now that therapists are having to be supported because they're carrying such a heavy weight of all those clients who are feeling so overwhelmed.
fwiw... I don't spend a ton of time watching the news every day. Maybe a half hour total unless there's a news story breaking (like our HUGE blizzard last week!). But when I'm on the internet, it's hard to avoid the headlines, even if I don't read the stories. And I do like reading the news - how else would I have seen the story in our local weather that says today will be the coldest day for us until next winter!!
But yea, I hear you. Being a survivor right now is awful.
Me: BWHim: WHMarried - 30+ yearsTwo adult daughters1st affair: 2005-20072nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addictionStatus: R
SI Staff ( Moderator #10) posted at 4:10 PM on Tuesday, March 3rd, 2026
This certainly fits the literal definition of an OT post. It's not about infidelity.
At the same time, I may be too sensitive, but ... I moved this because CSA plays a part in so much infidelity that this is infidelity-adjacent, IMO, and I fear this thread might evoke strong sad, angry, or fearful responses that are unexpected in the OT forum.
If anyone objects, please PM me.
sisoon
[This message edited by SI Staff at 4:18 PM, Tuesday, March 3rd]
NoThanksForTheMemories ( member #83278) posted at 6:25 PM on Wednesday, March 4th, 2026
I haven't been in your shoes, WaryOptimist, but it sounds like a normal response to past trauma. I think the usual advice would apply (do things to center and calm yourself; minimize your exposure to the news and to triggers; give it time).
Does your WS know about your SA history? Are you in a place with R that you feel safe talking to him about what's happening to you? Repressing these feelings will likely prolong them. Being honest that you are having trouble seeing the real him right now could be helpful, either talking directly to him or to a therapist.
If you enjoy playing Tetris, it's supposed to be a decent substitute for EMDR and to help with trauma responses.
WS had a 3 yr EA+PA from 2020-2022, and an EA 10 years ago (different AP). Dday1 Nov 2022. Dday4 Sep 2023. False R for 2.5 months. 30 years together. Divorcing.
