This is very hard - realizing the OW (other woman) is really NOT the reason to worry.
We compare ourselves to the affair partners because we want to know — what does she have that I don’t have?
In my case the OW was 25 years younger and single, no kids. Her best assets were her boobs that hung out of every shirt she wore. She also was covered in tattoos (I have no tattoos) across her boobs, neck, chest, arms, legs etc.
She was a full fledged drama queen (I’m not - I don’t do drama).
At the end of the day, she could have been almost anyone willing to have an affair with my H. The APs are not special. They are just available. They are not prettier or funnier or smarter or better cooks or better pickleball players.
And are people with no morals BTW.
I know that doesn’t help you but that’s the reality of it. Yes some APs truly believe the affair is real and they are going to sale off into the sunset with the cheating spouse and live happily ever after.
My H certainly did. However he had NO idea what lay ahead. Weekends with his kids (not the OW). Family first commitments (not the OW). Less $ thanks to alimony and child support and college tuition etc. I know the OW saw $ - again
because I managed it all (he wanted no part of it).
Most OW can’t hold a candle to the wife. They are certainly not trustworthy.
