SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

My story starts out like everyone else.... I was blinded side. I have been married for 26 years. I wont say I didn't have clues. He had cheated on me before 15 years prior. Multiple times actually. But this one really shook me to my core. I stopped and got the mail and there was a a letter from DSS in there. I thought that was weird. I opened it and apparently my husband had a 15 year old son from another woman!!!!! I freaked out. I wanted to end it but financially I'm not capable of it at this point unless I sell everything I've build up for my family and traumatizing my seven year old son in the process. Or I could stay and try to work it out. I wanted to try and salvage my 26 years. But that was before the positive DNA test and my oldest daughter who is now no contact with not only her dad but me as well. I can take slot of things in this world but not having my daughter is literally killing me. I have never cried so hard in my life and felt much despair. I had hope. Hope that he wasn't his and hope that my daughter would at least talk to me I have no hope at all. Now I'm at a cross roads. He of course wants to work it out. Do I stay? He was it. My only love. I'm afraid I'll die alone. It has been good the past 6 months. It is Better than it had been in a very long time. But I will not have my daughter. Or do I leave? Jump head first into financial instability and lose my whole life? But I would have my girl. I'm so torn I can't stand it. My soul is literally tied.

Sister,

You don’t have to rush nor follow suggestions.

The thing you need to do is to put yourself first, to set iron boundaries that clearly outline what you want in life.

Do you want to,live in infidelity? Do you accept disrespect?

I bet no and no.

From this framework you start to draw the lines that are your boundaries.

Begin to heal, gain clarity.

Nobody ever, never ever ever, has reconciled with a cheater.

You simply cannot.

One can only reconcile with the new person that outgrown and despise the cheater.

This is step one.

Read about the 180.
Don’t keep your emotions compressed and suppressed, they need to be heard.

You have been heard

[This message edited by BackfromtheStorm at 12:04 AM, Friday, September 25th]