So it is PA/EA?
Anyways, you are right. He sounds like a typical narcisistic personality disorder and probably has a multiple other womens under his wings, like ducks in the row for ego boost.
Now, I posted this "addictive relationship" thread in Wayward. I wanted to share this with you.
If you are still in the fantasy stage and only enjoying the highs, think about this. Addictive relationships have you doing things you would not 'normally' do.
*Like sitting and waiting for a long time for a phone call and then getting moody when it doesn't happen.
*Like keeping your schedule open for "what if" someone is available; putting you life 'on hold' for someone else.
*Like doing things you wouldn't do except that it's for/about "that" person.
*Like being cranky and mean to other people in your life because you are not happy with the way the addictive R is going.
*Like obsessing in your mind and compulsive behavior to be with the person.
*Like forgetting about 'everything' else in your life when in the presence of the person. This is where reality meets fantasy. You are so myopic (near sighted) you don't see the rest of the world around you. You create a reality to escape to and push away the rest of the world - reality.
*You feel love, and especially passion, but you are not loving to the rest of the world. Your love is coveted for the one person.
*The difference between an addictive relationship and a healthy relationship is how it affects your OTHER relationships; especially the one with yourself!
Rather than thinking of it as real vs addictive think of it as healthy vs addictive. What is a healthy relationship? Fantasy is just part of addictive relationships. A healthy relationship doesn't need fantasy... it's just... healthy!
I got this from one of my wise women. And I don't miss those emotional roller coasters. I don't want to go back there.
Speaking from my own experience, when most FWSs were not in the normal 24/7 relationship with xAP and not in the marrieage where there is no domestic responsibilities, taking care of kids, or paying the bills, most WS tend to rominticize xAP looking through the rose colored glasses and think xAP is ideal person in their view. Limited time meetings/communication fuels the fantasy world and it enabled FWSs to perpetuate the fantasies and became the intense meeting/chat session and look forward to the next session.
Let's not forget following stuff.
*Healthy love isn't a secret
*Healthy love doesn't deceive anyone
*Healthy love doesn't leave you in a state of confusion
*Healthy love doesn't cause resentment
*Healthy love doesn't have you 'waiting, just in case'
*Healthy love isn't bits and pieces of your partners time
*Healthy love doesn't have you lower your expectations
I hope this makes sense.
[This message edited by beach at 10:19 PM, July 15th (Wednesday)]