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gracelesslady ( member #21550) posted at 4:06 PM on Monday, June 1st, 2009
BW (me) 63XWH 59OW#1 28MOW#2 35OW#3 38DDay #1 Aug 2008DDay #2 Oct 2008DDay #3 Apr 2015S since Apr 2015D final Jun 2017
Militarycasualty ( member #24193) posted at 10:07 PM on Monday, June 1st, 2009
Thanks for the post. It made things more clear for me.
I have been doing the 180 for a few days and it doesn't seem to be going so well. It is just pissing him off. WH is with his parents for the next week then back to Korea. I probably wont see him again until next summer when he picks our daughter up for visitation. By then the D will be long over.
I am finding it hard to be nice and civil when he is pushing the D and wants to be w/ OW who is in a different country for the next 3 years. All through this, I still love him and want him to come home to us. He refuses to think about R because he is talking to her all the time and I know she is convincing him how awful I am and how he is better off without me.
It is also hard to take things slowly since as a recent grad, I need to apply for my license, work on my resume, get a job, sell our house, find a new place to live, enroll my daughter in Kindergarden, and find her before and after care so I can work.
I am just depressed and overwhelmed and not sure where to start. I make lists but end up not really accomplishing much. I found a counselor for my daughter finally because she is pretty messed up by all of this. One thing done off the list a million more to go!
Me-BW 31
Him-WS 31
really wishing that this will work
gracelesslady ( member #21550) posted at 10:56 PM on Monday, June 1st, 2009
(((MC)))
I need to apply for my license, work on my resume, get a job, sell our house, find a new place to live, enroll my daughter in Kindergarden, and find her before and after care so I can work.
As much as you can, focus on these things and getting them done. I know it takes an enormous amount of effort, but getting these things checked off your list will go a long way toward making you feel better, and that will help you to heal. That said, there have been many days for me where I feel like I have been pushing a rock uphill, s I really do know how hard it can be, and sometimes, you just have to fake it 'til you make it.
It is great that you are making lists. Try to make a little more progress every day, and when you do make sure you celebrate that and pat yourself on the back.
Have you found an IC for you?
BW (me) 63XWH 59OW#1 28MOW#2 35OW#3 38DDay #1 Aug 2008DDay #2 Oct 2008DDay #3 Apr 2015S since Apr 2015D final Jun 2017
SerJR (original poster member #14993) posted at 1:06 AM on Friday, July 24th, 2009
Me: BH - Happily remarried.
Hope is never lost. It exists within you - it is real. It is not a force in and of itself - it is something that you create with every thought, action, and choice you make. It is a gift that you create for yourself.
taintedzodiac ( member #24726) posted at 3:18 AM on Friday, July 24th, 2009
I bookmarked and read this post every night. It's extremely inspirational and drilling it into my head has helped thus far. Thanks!
nooneeverthought ( member #20157) posted at 3:25 PM on Tuesday, August 4th, 2009
it doesn't matter where you go in life ,it's who you have the beside you
gracelesslady ( member #21550) posted at 3:20 PM on Sunday, August 9th, 2009
BW (me) 63XWH 59OW#1 28MOW#2 35OW#3 38DDay #1 Aug 2008DDay #2 Oct 2008DDay #3 Apr 2015S since Apr 2015D final Jun 2017
jewel123 ( member #22863) posted at 3:16 PM on Tuesday, August 11th, 2009
bump 
BS me 44
H 46 (paulie)
married 25 years (hs sweethearts)
dday 8-08
DS19
DS23
New love is the brightest, and long love is the greatest, but revived love is the tenderest thing known on earth. -Thomas Hardy
Reconciled! :)
HeavyE ( member #19333) posted at 4:38 AM on Wednesday, September 2nd, 2009
Scanda ( member #25387) posted at 5:11 AM on Wednesday, September 2nd, 2009
Bless you for the bump. This is food for my soul.
54 BW
53 WH
Married 24 years
Together 25
DDay July 28, 2008
no kids
WH moved Aug 10, 2009
bufffalo ( member #21854) posted at 1:17 PM on Saturday, September 5th, 2009
bump for the "rookies"!
Thanks SerJr.
bufffalo ( member #21854) posted at 3:01 AM on Monday, September 7th, 2009
gracelesslady ( member #21550) posted at 6:28 PM on Tuesday, September 15th, 2009
BW (me) 63XWH 59OW#1 28MOW#2 35OW#3 38DDay #1 Aug 2008DDay #2 Oct 2008DDay #3 Apr 2015S since Apr 2015D final Jun 2017
bufffalo ( member #21854) posted at 12:06 AM on Sunday, September 20th, 2009
bump
ams02 ( member #25400) posted at 12:51 AM on Sunday, September 20th, 2009
Thanks for this....I wish I had seen it right after D-Day as I was/have been doing it completely wrong.
Telling him I love him, still doing everything for him (I am just so used to it by now), even having sex.
And it's weird, because now that I have had some time to process everything, now I regret having sex with him again so soon because that is probably part of the reason why he thinks everything is OK again.
BW (Me):28
WH (Him): 30
Married 8 years
3 boys (12, 6 and 2)
DDay 7/27/2009
MOW#1 - 2007
MOW#2 - 2009
MOW#3 - 2009
MOW were former friends
"A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to put its pants back on"
nooneeverthought ( member #20157) posted at 11:04 PM on Sunday, September 20th, 2009
it doesn't matter where you go in life ,it's who you have the beside you
SerJR (original poster member #14993) posted at 7:51 PM on Wednesday, October 7th, 2009
Seeing a few questions raised about the 180 by some newer members
Me: BH - Happily remarried.
Hope is never lost. It exists within you - it is real. It is not a force in and of itself - it is something that you create with every thought, action, and choice you make. It is a gift that you create for yourself.
quedagh ( member #24195) posted at 5:51 AM on Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009
It may not define you but it sure as hell will affect how you think for the rest of your life.
JustKeepSwimmig ( member #19269) posted at 7:56 PM on Wednesday, November 4th, 2009
Mr. JKS - EA/PA
DDay - April 2008
Finesse026 ( member #25868) posted at 9:24 PM on Wednesday, November 4th, 2009
I agree with you Ams.....I was so blinded by trying to fix things that I was feeding him cake! H even told me that he knew that I wouldn't leave him!!! Ugh! I told him he better rethink that statement! I don't need H. Since then, 180 baby!!
I don't know if it's helping him, but I don't care. It's helping me an that's the point. I feel stronger each day. Sure I still ge down, but I know I am no out :)
thank you for bumpin this fir the newbies like me!!
Together: 8.5 years
Married: 5 years
BW: 32
WH: 34
Angel baby: Nov. 09
OC born June '10
filed for D Oct. 15, served Dec 18
D final June 21, 2011
Remarried 2012
DDay July 29, 2020; July 31, 2020; August 5, 2020
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