SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

It seems like it is just me whose husband had an affair, moved out immediately, and has no desire to reconcile. I have a hard time reading all the reconciliation stories here and seeing remorseful spouses. I really feel alone in this. It's been six weeks and I am having such a hard time coping. We have no contact whatsoever except via text messages about the kids. It is so f**king depressing. I can't stand my life anymore.

(((ruinedandbroken)))

My WW has moved out and is trying to pretend that nothing has happened. She isn't doing anything to help me at all and I have no idea how to cope with this either.

I am so sorry that your WH has no desire to R. I also read the R stories and wish my WW were remorseful. I read posts from WSs and wish my WW was halfway close to where they are. I understand. You aren't alone. I'm currently working the 180 to at least appear strong, and who knows, some day I might actually just be strong. But no, you aren't alone.

I am sorry you're feeling so low. I can understand the hurt you must feel that your WS just left, without the desire to reconcile.

My husband says he doesn't want a divorce and we are attending MC, but there are days (like today) when I can tell he is not real committed. He doesn't act "that into me" most of the time. He doesn't initiate sex and claims he does not know why.

There are days when I feel I would have been better off had he just left. I am living with someone who has lied to me many times (before and after D-Day), who I don't trust. I live in fear that he will pick up the relationship with her and I will never know, because he has gotten better at hiding it. Not to negate your situation or your feelings, but today is one day I wonder if I am going through all this for nothing.

My husband did the exact same thing. He left for OW 2 hours after I found out about them.

I had been in another marriage that ended in infidelity so I wasn't new to this situation. My 1st EXWH came home several times and it was very hard on the kids. So when my 2nd husband left, I called my lawyer the very next day and handed him his divorce papers within 48 hours of him leaving. He was stunned to say the least! He said he was never coming back etc...

Fast forward 4 weeks. He wanted back in, I told him "No Way". He has regretted his decision to this day, I don't!

Both of my ex husbands wanted to come back after moving out for OW. I'm now happy, their not!

This was not my experience, but HELL NO you are not alone! Read down in the Divorce and Separation forum. It's shameful (on the WS's part) how many are in your shoes.

(((ruinedandbroken)))

I am so sorry, as I know how hard it is to deal with the rejection. But, please believe me, it would have been so much easier for me had WH, or I should say STBX, would have moved out. To have them living with you and act so indifferent to every thing and all your pain really is so much worse. I know that is no consolation, but I just want you to know that I DO understand what it is like to have someone, who you thought loved you and would be there forever, to just turn their back on you like you never existed.

We are stronger than we give ourselves credit; we can do this. We DO deserve better...

hugs (((ruinedandbroken)))

My first WW moved out the day she was busted. She's still married to the guy.

On here? No. It's not just you.

It's a purblind bich, that I know, but do you know?

There's about umpteen people on here that envy your sitch.

Your bandaid got ripped off fast, while their's is a many years long agonizing journey of trickle truth and torture.

Give yourself a break from the R stories. Get into you stories ok?

((hugs)) Be strong!!

I was in your exact situation. I really regret contacting him just to hear his voice, telling him how hard things were for me, asking him how he was etc. I think I disrespected myself.

The only answer to self-respect is to maintain NC except kids and finaces and to keep the personal completely out of all contact.

My WH put me through false R six months later and is now back again 18 months later, now that the affair relationship has collapsed wanting to R.

I just can't get over it at this stage

[This message edited by willthiseverend at 8:11 PM, September 7th (Tuesday)]

Same boat here too. I asked him why he had been hiding his cell phone for the last month and within 30 minutes he packed up his stuff and left without an explanation. We were (seemingly) happily married for 18 years when this happened.

Devasted doesn't even begin to describe what I went through. Its two years later and he is still with OW. They were "dating" for a month before I found out. The day after d-day, I got the I love you but I'm not in love with you. I didn't believe him for a minute, but he was in denial trying to make himself believe that what he was doing was okay in some way. After 6 weeks, I gave up/accepted that he wasn't coming back any time soon and started paperwork to protect my assets and future.

At first, I was mad, sad and upset, but after his continued bad behavior, I realized that by not wanting to R, he was doing me a favor. Put me out of my misery really.

We are D now and he continues to be in his fog, so I am glad I didn't wait around for him. He did admit 4 months after d-day that he never did stop loving me and that he was all wrong. It was too late by then AND he was STILL with OW.

In any case, you are not alone. Things might get worse before they get better. But you will be okay. Concentrate on you and what you need for your future, with or without him. And most of all, remember that: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!

I am sorry - no it is not only you. Sometimes staying together is not the best choice. Here is a story in three parts from UK's daily mail that may help you feel that the best thing happens in retrospect.

[url="http://tinyurl.com/32e6ckl"]Part 1.[/url]

[url="http://tinyurl.com/3aay3tm"]Part 2.[/url]

[url="http://tinyurl.com/2wyu8ne"]Part 3.[/url]

[This message edited by Momentothyme at 9:51 PM, September 7th (Tuesday)]

It was this time last year that I finished the love dare to try and win back a WW who was with her om. It still took me a few months to start letting go of everything I thought we had.

You are not alone. I'm here a little over a year out and happier than I have been in my life.

You will be too.

((ruinedandbroken))

My WSO has made no attempts to reconcile either. He says it is because the OW is pregnant and he doesn't want to hurt me anymore, but I think he is just using that as a convenient excuse.

It sucks, because I was willing to fight for our relationship. But he didn't give me a chance to.