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BetsyBG ( member #13920) posted at 2:09 PM on Thursday, September 9th, 2010
BetsyG you said...
And, of course he's announced he's leaving me as soon as he finds a job.
Why are you letting him subject you to that? You ought to kick his arse out.
If we had the ability to support two households, he would be out. He now "regrets" telling me he's leaving as soon as he gets a job. He "didn't mean it." Only, well--every action he's made over many years tells me he did in fact mean it---so I will expect him to leave. Even if he doesn't want to. (The not wanting to amounts, more, to not wanting to be alone than to wanting to be with me.)
BW-49
STBX-49
together 33 years, married 24
most recent D-day 5/26/10
separated 12/5/10
financially-motivated UN-separation to come mid-January, 2011
trying to R, or at least happily coexist
newnormal ( member #21925) posted at 2:27 PM on Thursday, September 9th, 2010
OW D her BH early in the A. I think she thought she was going to level up. 
Her BH is now remarried and OW lost the house about a year after the A ended.
BS 43 (me)
FWH 48
D-day 9/07
Dont retreat, reload.
"Pull that knife out of your back - and sever the fuel line to that bus you got thrown under" Bufffalo
WhiteCarrera ( member #29126) posted at 2:35 PM on Thursday, September 9th, 2010
Yeah - I wonder all the time.
A couple months after DDay I spoke with the OM, and he implied that he and his wife were in therapy and that she was aware of the A. So later, I didn't feel bad about emailing her last December to ask to compare notes (was the "truth" being professed to her the same as what was being professed to me?). As it turned out, she was not aware of the A, though she knew her husband was a POS with other discretions and were in some therapy. I outed the affair to her, and I keep hoping she'll call me again to compare notes again. I think we could both fill in some gaps in the story for each other.
Married 13 years @ D-Day in 2009. Still hanging in there (maybe by a thread sometimes)
sadandbetrayed ( member #28796) posted at 2:50 PM on Thursday, September 9th, 2010
I wonder, simply because the OW's husband had no idea and she lied to my husband and a part of me feels like after what she did to my marriage and others' marriages/relationships, I feel like she doesn't deserve to be happy or married.
Yes, I wonder.
But, all I really want to know is that MOW and her H are suffering.
Petty, I realize...haven't reached a place of indifference yet...or know if I ever will.
Exactly how I feel. I often wish MOW's H would contact me so we could compare notes not necessarily on A details but on the whole R process. I think it would also piss FWH and MOW off immensly which would be an added benefit
BS (me) 36
WH 35
Married 12 years
together for 17
4 Children
DDay (texts) 4/30/10
(phone calls) 5/11/10
Full confession 5/17/10
mattie ( member #25280) posted at 3:29 PM on Thursday, September 9th, 2010
I do this as well-AP was uspoose to be my friend-in fact we all hung out all the time-we were buddies her husband was in our wedding. Last I saw them they looked fine-he had his arm around her and they were crying their new baby.I resent she has been able to find any joy in her life as I sit here still reeling and in pain from her deceit and betrayl. She had her BH wrapped around her finger even told my WH he had no backbone and she could run all over him--not even 2 days after the disclosure he forgave her.She spoke so badly about him she said she didn't want him back, but when my husband threw her under the bus and shattered the fantasy. She had noone to fall back on but her BH I just keep telling myself there is no way you can not get some karma back at you from all the dirt you've slung--, but whatever it is I doubt she is suffering as I am-and that sucks!!!!!!
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