Newest Member: loyaltylost

Just Found Out :
Before You Say Reconcile...

Topic is Sleeping.
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heartbroken_kk ( member #22722) posted at 1:20 AM on Saturday, August 25th, 2018

bump to keep all the target threads together. May these threads help you all.

FBW then 46, XWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life. D-Day 1 '99, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... '09-'11, D '15. I fell apart. I put myself back together. Forgiveness isn't required. I'm happy and healthy now, and MY new life is good.

posts: 2540   ·   registered: Feb. 3rd, 2009   ·   location: California
id 8235684
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 8:13 AM on Thursday, August 30th, 2018

Bump

Me: BS 54 (49 on d-day)Him: WH. 64D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA
Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 4277   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8238713
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heartbroken_kk ( member #22722) posted at 6:10 PM on Thursday, September 13th, 2018

bump

FBW then 46, XWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life. D-Day 1 '99, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... '09-'11, D '15. I fell apart. I put myself back together. Forgiveness isn't required. I'm happy and healthy now, and MY new life is good.

posts: 2540   ·   registered: Feb. 3rd, 2009   ·   location: California
id 8247025
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sisoon ( Guide #31240) posted at 4:00 PM on Monday, September 24th, 2018

bump

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 26263   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8253007
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Somber ( member #66544) posted at 4:11 AM on Saturday, October 20th, 2018

Thank you for your insight! I am a newbie and came across this thread. My WH claims he is remorseful and indicates all that he does to show he wants our family to heal. Truth is, he is rugsweeping and we both have our entire marriage. I never really knew what true remorse was but I always knew I wasn’t getting the feeling that things were improving in my heart and soul. Our trust has been shattered multiple times, most recently with an affair I found out about 6 months ago. There has been no full disclosure. He gets frustrated when I bring it up and asks me not to say her name. He avoids talking about it. Instead he thinks making dinner, being home more and planning family outings is effort. He even planned a trip to Disney which I initially thought was insane...I mean we are at rock bottom and you want to plan a trip. My second thought I couldn’t do it as a single parent so it will be good for the kids. It is effort for our family but not remorseful! He also tries to rush me to be intimate or close to him and truthfully I can’t stand him anymore!!!

By you made it clear what true remorse is and nothing on that list is happening for me. So sad!!

[This message edited by Somber at 10:12 PM, October 19th (Friday)]

Me: BS, 41 / Him: SAWH, 43
2 children ages 7 and 9
“The truth is still blurry but the lies are getting clearer”

posts: 632   ·   registered: Oct. 17th, 2018   ·   location: Canada
id 8270529
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minusone ( member #50175) posted at 1:19 AM on Sunday, December 2nd, 2018

bump

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou

posts: 8356   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8292384
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heartbroken_kk ( member #22722) posted at 9:14 PM on Friday, December 21st, 2018

bump

FBW then 46, XWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life. D-Day 1 '99, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... '09-'11, D '15. I fell apart. I put myself back together. Forgiveness isn't required. I'm happy and healthy now, and MY new life is good.

posts: 2540   ·   registered: Feb. 3rd, 2009   ·   location: California
id 8302782
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Teakettle77 ( new member #68785) posted at 8:34 AM on Sunday, December 23rd, 2018

Wow, so first post. Thank you for that. My WS was meeting all of the rugsweeping critera during our reconciliation, which helped me articulate why I wanted to separate. I actually send him this image. It helped me not only realize how little he was doing I think it helped him too.

posts: 4   ·   registered: Nov. 8th, 2018
id 8303362
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Skan ( member #35812) posted at 5:33 PM on Saturday, January 5th, 2019

bump

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012


posts: 11513   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2012   ·   location: So California
id 8309332
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Edie ( member #26133) posted at 8:28 AM on Sunday, February 3rd, 2019

Bump

Maybe a long walk in the Hindu Kush would do it?
BW (me) 52
FWS 55
Together 29 years; 2 kids 15 & 12
Dday Dec 08 (confessed) R'd.

posts: 6384   ·   registered: Nov. 9th, 2009   ·   location: Europe
id 8323439
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sisoon ( Guide #31240) posted at 4:35 PM on Saturday, February 16th, 2019

bump

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 26263   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8330527
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sisoon ( Guide #31240) posted at 3:37 PM on Tuesday, March 5th, 2019

bumo

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 26263   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8339643
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emergent8 ( member #58189) posted at 7:07 PM on Friday, April 5th, 2019

bump for totesmagoats

Me: BS, Him: WS. Mid-late 30s.
Together 15 years, married 5 (11 m at D-Day).
D-Day: Feb 2017 (8 m PA with married COW).
Currently 4 years (and two kids) into R and optimistic.

posts: 656   ·   registered: Apr. 7th, 2017
id 8357503
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Edie ( member #26133) posted at 6:42 PM on Wednesday, April 10th, 2019

Bump

Maybe a long walk in the Hindu Kush would do it?
BW (me) 52
FWS 55
Together 29 years; 2 kids 15 & 12
Dday Dec 08 (confessed) R'd.

posts: 6384   ·   registered: Nov. 9th, 2009   ·   location: Europe
id 8360505
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Edie ( member #26133) posted at 9:24 PM on Tuesday, April 23rd, 2019

Bump 😊

Maybe a long walk in the Hindu Kush would do it?
BW (me) 52
FWS 55
Together 29 years; 2 kids 15 & 12
Dday Dec 08 (confessed) R'd.

posts: 6384   ·   registered: Nov. 9th, 2009   ·   location: Europe
id 8367333
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heartbroken_kk ( member #22722) posted at 2:24 AM on Sunday, April 28th, 2019

bump

FBW then 46, XWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life. D-Day 1 '99, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... '09-'11, D '15. I fell apart. I put myself back together. Forgiveness isn't required. I'm happy and healthy now, and MY new life is good.

posts: 2540   ·   registered: Feb. 3rd, 2009   ·   location: California
id 8369531
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hadji ( member #57945) posted at 3:54 PM on Saturday, May 11th, 2019

Bump for newbies

Me: 27 BS (at the time of the A)
Her: 25 x-fiancée (Definite EA. Could have been PA)

posts: 153   ·   registered: Mar. 22nd, 2017   ·   location: Europe
id 8376666
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 8:41 PM on Saturday, June 1st, 2019

Bump

Me: BS 54 (49 on d-day)Him: WH. 64D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA
Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 4277   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8386527
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minusone ( member #50175) posted at 2:01 PM on Saturday, July 6th, 2019

bump

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou

posts: 8356   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8402197
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minusone ( member #50175) posted at 5:19 PM on Monday, August 19th, 2019

Bump

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou

posts: 8356   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8423254
Topic is Sleeping.
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