Newest Member: faithfulMan911

Just Found Out :
Before You Say Reconcile...

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tomz ( Member #33592) posted at 1:28 AM on Friday, October 14th, 2011

WOW, I just realized that we never R'd with the first PAs 12 years ago. Why should I believe that we'll R with this one?

Me: BH and fWH 46
Her: BW and fWW 43
4 kids
3 granddaughters
D-Day #1 04/2000 WW CL hookups
D-Day #2 2006 WW CL hookups
D-Day 2009 Myself caught in PA/EA
D-Day #3 10/2011 WW CL hookups

Separating

posts: 150   ·   registered: Oct. 11th, 2011   ·   location: Texas
id 5483882
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npain ( Member #33539) posted at 3:24 AM on Friday, October 14th, 2011

Im 2 1/2 months past DDay and my WH is not remorseful at all.His fog is keeping him solidly in the right hand column. No transparency, angry all the time, and it's starting to affect the kids now too. I'm trying to pray and wait things out till the end of the year...

S, Filed 4/17/14--YAY, ME!!

posts: 515   ·   registered: Oct. 6th, 2011   ·   location: New York
id 5484086
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 Fighting2Survive (original poster Member #28410) posted at 1:20 AM on Wednesday, October 19th, 2011

bumped for the newly hurting.

Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well

"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces

posts: 7279   ·   registered: Apr. 30th, 2010   ·   location: NC
id 5491830
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 Fighting2Survive (original poster Member #28410) posted at 11:43 PM on Saturday, October 22nd, 2011

Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well

"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces

posts: 7279   ·   registered: Apr. 30th, 2010   ·   location: NC
id 5498321
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confusedbeyond ( Member #33462) posted at 9:04 PM on Tuesday, October 25th, 2011

I am only a month out from D day but WS seems to be doing all these things. Am I too optimistic to think that maybe getting caught was the kick in the ass he needed tobring him back into reality. BTW- He ended the relationship and OW would not move on which is how I found out.

BS: Me 35
WS: him 37
3 children 5,3, 3 mons
D day 9/23/11
still getting trickling info but WS is acting remorseful. both in IC, MC

posts: 115   ·   registered: Sep. 27th, 2011
id 5502421
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 Fighting2Survive (original poster Member #28410) posted at 2:01 AM on Saturday, October 29th, 2011

Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well

"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces

posts: 7279   ·   registered: Apr. 30th, 2010   ·   location: NC
id 5508177
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UndecidedinMA ( Member #33732) posted at 1:03 PM on Saturday, October 29th, 2011

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!

I just printed this and, boy, I love it.

This says it all so succinctly, perfect for being 6 weeks out from D Day.

ME - BSO
Him - FWSO
OW - DBC Xwife
DDAY 09/14/11 ONS w/DBCxWOW with 4 mos EA
Solidly in R

posts: 1005   ·   registered: Oct. 26th, 2011   ·   location: MA
id 5508511
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GK109 ( Member #33680) posted at 2:31 PM on Saturday, October 29th, 2011

*bump*

I get the 180, but what/where is the tactical primer?

posts: 64   ·   registered: Oct. 20th, 2011
id 5508578
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 Fighting2Survive (original poster Member #28410) posted at 3:50 PM on Saturday, October 29th, 2011

Here's a list of all threads that are usually recommended for the newly hurting, including the Tactical Primer:

Tactical Primer:

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=235051

Boundaries and Consequences 101:

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=385631

Setting Healthy Boundaries:

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=231851

Understanding the 180:

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=232785

20/20 Hindsight: What I Wish I'd Done:

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=161389

Great Posts for Newbies to Read:

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=361740

Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well

"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces

posts: 7279   ·   registered: Apr. 30th, 2010   ·   location: NC
id 5508652
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Take2 ( Member #23890) posted at 1:07 PM on Monday, October 31st, 2011

bump!

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

posts: 4432   ·   registered: May. 6th, 2009   ·   location: New England
id 5510671
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bufffalo ( Member #21854) posted at 8:10 AM on Tuesday, November 1st, 2011

DDay 9/25/2008

BH-me

posts: 6172   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2008   ·   location: Texas
id 5512282
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annb ( Member #22386) posted at 3:42 PM on Thursday, November 3rd, 2011

bump

posts: 11257   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2009   ·   location: Northeast
id 5516450
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SabinatheOwl ( Member #30023) posted at 3:46 PM on Sunday, November 6th, 2011

Bump

Details & story in profile

"Live a life not an apology." Edward R.Murrow

"I can be changed by what happens to me but I refuse to be reduced by it."

Maya Angelou

posts: 1350   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2010   ·   location: Metro DC
id 5521747
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bufffalo ( Member #21854) posted at 3:45 PM on Friday, November 11th, 2011

DDay 9/25/2008

BH-me

posts: 6172   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2008   ·   location: Texas
id 5530299
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marzipan ( Member #28544) posted at 4:17 PM on Thursday, November 17th, 2011

me--Mean Batshit Crazy Pottymouth
him-- Swampy the WH
divorce DONE!!!!

http://soulmateshmoopies.wordpress.com/
PART 16-- "You are Such a Good Mother"

posts: 4076   ·   registered: May. 17th, 2010
id 5539449
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 Fighting2Survive (original poster Member #28410) posted at 3:10 AM on Friday, November 25th, 2011

Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well

"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces

posts: 7279   ·   registered: Apr. 30th, 2010   ·   location: NC
id 5550933
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annb ( Member #22386) posted at 10:25 PM on Tuesday, November 29th, 2011

bump

posts: 11257   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2009   ·   location: Northeast
id 5557870
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Lost and Betraye ( Member #33988) posted at 9:52 PM on Wednesday, November 30th, 2011

Bump

Me=BS 50; Him=WS 46; Dday 11/10/11
Married 13 years; together 20
Kids: DD11;(2) grown boys/men from my previous marriage to a WS
Status: Divorcing

"The past is a guidepost, not a hitching post" L Thomas Holdcroft

posts: 317   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2011   ·   location: CA
id 5559695
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lostsuol ( Member #13706) posted at 10:49 PM on Wednesday, November 30th, 2011

And again!

Still a struggle...

posts: 815   ·   registered: Feb. 20th, 2007   ·   location: Canada
id 5559787
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bufffalo ( Member #21854) posted at 7:04 AM on Tuesday, December 6th, 2011

DDay 9/25/2008

BH-me

posts: 6172   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2008   ·   location: Texas
id 5569319
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