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lordhasaplan? (original poster member #30079) posted at 2:03 AM on Sunday, November 17th, 2013
BS- Me (53)D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10). Currently in R. Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.
littlemrsV0813 ( new member #41148) posted at 2:20 AM on Sunday, November 17th, 2013
[This message edited by littlemrsV0813 at 10:54 AM, November 20th (Wednesday)]
crazynot ( member #24572) posted at 9:22 AM on Sunday, November 17th, 2013
It's great that you've got to the point of realising this. Now you need to work on getting respect and love from him, and making those dealbreakers dealbreakers!
Me - 50
Him - 51
DDay 21 March 2009
Divorcing and delighted!
Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it.
lordhasaplan? (original poster member #30079) posted at 3:42 PM on Tuesday, December 17th, 2013
BS- Me (53)D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10). Currently in R. Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.
7yrsflushed ( member #32258) posted at 8:35 PM on Wednesday, December 18th, 2013
D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
Divorced 9/2/14 and loving life!
lordhasaplan? (original poster member #30079) posted at 8:26 PM on Tuesday, January 7th, 2014
BS- Me (53)D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10). Currently in R. Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.
lordhasaplan? (original poster member #30079) posted at 8:26 PM on Tuesday, January 7th, 2014
BS- Me (53)D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10). Currently in R. Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.
Blobette ( member #36519) posted at 6:58 PM on Wednesday, January 29th, 2014
BS (me): 51
WS: 52
Married: 27 yrs
Kids: 2
OW: Co-worker, 7 yr LTA
DD 8/1/2012, Working on R
lordhasaplan? (original poster member #30079) posted at 2:14 PM on Monday, March 10th, 2014
BS- Me (53)D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10). Currently in R. Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.
lordhasaplan? (original poster member #30079) posted at 2:13 PM on Friday, April 4th, 2014
BS- Me (53)D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10). Currently in R. Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.
thisissogross ( member #30294) posted at 6:29 AM on Sunday, April 6th, 2014
i edit frequently because i have to
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 2:31 PM on Wednesday, April 9th, 2014
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
lordhasaplan? (original poster member #30079) posted at 6:42 PM on Thursday, May 1st, 2014
BS- Me (53)D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10). Currently in R. Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.
lordhasaplan? (original poster member #30079) posted at 4:42 PM on Friday, May 30th, 2014
BS- Me (53)D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10). Currently in R. Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.
Merida ( member #42437) posted at 6:53 AM on Friday, July 4th, 2014
OK re-reading this as I kick myself in the butt for getting more wrapped up in WH's business than my own
ugh
right = I can only control me
not God's business
not other people's business
"The Will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you."
"The darkest night is dispelled by the humblest of flames."
totalheartbreak ( member #41589) posted at 8:18 AM on Friday, July 4th, 2014
“You know hope is a mistake. If you can’t fix what’s broken, you’ll go insane.” - Max Rockatansky
The smart man divorces a lawyer.
The smarter man never marries one in the first place.
To her we were never worth the effort. :-/
12yearsloyal ( member #43064) posted at 12:57 PM on Friday, July 4th, 2014
Yes, I see myself in here a bit. Great post, first time I saw this one. My tendency is to value the M more than myself. This is wrong. I can't fix it by myself, need a willing partner.
Him: WS, 51 EA/PA 2.5 years
D Day 3/10/14 N/C broke (phone/email) 6/14-10/14
Me: BS 52
OW: Banana Republic whore
Status: Fence sitting or D Praying for answers
Betrayal: so painful it should be a crime - 12 months in prison.
Jomarion ( member #43659) posted at 11:59 PM on Sunday, July 6th, 2014
Thanks,Lordhasaplan, for this post. it is a lot both intellectually and emotionally to take in. I am trying hard to heal. Your words are helping. 
me:BGF, 54, American immigrant. one son. me and my ex get along great, the most amicable split imaginable!
him:WBF,43, Polish immigrant
together since 2006,
DDay:October28,2009,after his 3 teen kids push him to cheat with OW.
5 betrayed me
lordhasaplan? (original poster member #30079) posted at 11:44 PM on Tuesday, August 12th, 2014
BS- Me (53)D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10). Currently in R. Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.
southernmess ( member #44325) posted at 12:41 AM on Friday, August 15th, 2014
Horseluvr ....thank you for sharing your story....I related so o much .....I lol all day everyday ....how my h and dd1 & dd2 look fantastic ...are stress-free & I'm the hot mess that happened 
I have no idea what confidence feels like ..before dday...I had questioned my wh and checked his phone repeatedly. ..he actually became angry in my lack of trust in him ........saying ** your so damn insecure**. ..its sad...stop living in the past! All along he was indeed involved in ea & debating seeing a prostitute...bc he had fantasies of acting out really disrespectful sexual porn like stuff ....that he could never do with me bc im his wife and mother of his children....gee he's so considerate ..NOT!
~BLINDSIDED HEALING ~
Me》30 yrs.BW/
Him》29yrs. WH
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