SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

what is TT

trickle truth. when you divulge the truth in trickles, if at all.

Hardest thing I've ever done in my life but I did it. I told him EVRYTHING and we talked for 5 hours after. He was obviously hurt, shocked, and devestated (and still is) but he's still talking to me and I take that as a good sign. I do know once the shock wears off, that could change. It is disconserting being on the other side of D-day and knowing I can never go back, but I still feel a peace about my decision to confess and he did express appreciation towards that. He said he wouldn't even be able to consider trusting me again if it weren't for that and the fact the he's seen such a poitive change in me these last 4 months. It's still going to be a long road for me to bring him any kind of comfort again. Any prayers are appreciated.

Congrats on your great strength of character.

Brace yourself for a bumpy ride as he processes all of this

((((((( mrsdwp6))))))))

I'm sooo happy to hear that it went well. It's going to be a long road but you just took the biggest step. We are all here for you and your BS. Take it slow and remember to take care of yourself and you your baby.

I'm glad to hear it went as well as it did.

Good luck to you. You sound very, very determined and you seem to "get it". I wish you guys the best!

((((mrsdwp6))) Congratulations---I admire your strength, and wish you and your husband the best, together.

I just caught up on this thread. I am BW and I wanted to say well done.

My WH confessed to me but only because his friend was going to out the A if he didn't.

Be patient, the roller coaster ride is a wild one. A BS emotions are all over the place. Its positive that you did talk for the length you did.

Hang in there. If you want you can direct your BH to SI, there are a lot of really good BHs (and BWs) on the site that can help him on his journey.

I can speak to this part of the debate: not confessing to the BS no matter how remorseful the WS is will only result in additional A's for the WS.

My WS continued sexting, and multiple A's for 16 of my 22 years of marriage. He would feel guilty, stop for awhile and even though he knew it to be wrong he would pick the bad behavior right back up.

Granted he did not do any 'work' on himself. But even if he had eventually IC ends. Who then is there that the WS has to answer to? And without the BS having knowledge of the A(s), how will issues be solved to the satisfaction of both WS and BS? The same issues would continue to recur most likely with the same result-wayward behavior.

Posted this late obviously as u have already confessed to ur BS. Congrats on having the courage. Keep posting and let ur BS in on this site please. He will find comfort and knowledge to help get him through this terrible time. Best to you both!

[This message edited by Nosay33 at 11:07 AM, August 20th (Saturday)]

It appears that you may be in shock also. While you have peace with your decision, do you feel remorseful or just numb?

I’m extremely remorseful. While I’ve had time to plan for this and imagine all types of possible scenarios, nothing could ever prepare me for seeing and experiencing the heartache I’ve caused. I’ve just turned my wonderful husbands life upside down, broke his happy bubble, shattered his loving image of me, destroyed a close friendship of his, and probably ruined another marriage. There is no numbness when faced with such a realization.

There is no punishment enough for my actions. All I can do now is try to help BH heal whatever it takes. Whether that means years of pain during a reconciliation or me out of his life forever.

[This message edited by mrsdwp6 at 2:16 PM, August 20th (Saturday)]

You did the right thing, now strap yourself in and remember why you confessed. Things may not calm down for several years.

You have some great people to talk to here. The remorseful WSs in this forum can help you through the bumpy road ahead.

Good job

Good job telling. We are proud of you. The next couple months will consist of unimaginable pain for him. You are already helping him by being totally honest.

Good job.

I know you are probably emotionally exhausted just from preparing for DDay, but you still have a long road ahead of you, so I hopeyou still have some energy left.

I’ve just turned my wonderful husbands life upside down, broke his happy bubble, shattered his loving image of me, destroyed a close friendship of his, and probably ruined another marriage. There is no numbness when faced with such a realization.

There is no punishment enough for my actions. All I can do now is try to help BH heal

That you have your head on straight makes all the difference. You really need to be empathatic & also realize that the worst is yet to come. Your H is most likely in shock & it will take him a while to piece together everything and he's going to go back with more questions, etc. as he tries to make sense of everything.

I really hope this works for you.

[This message edited by Allgoodnamesgone at 9:32 PM, August 20th (Saturday)]

Just stopping to offer a hug for confessing the truth. For accepting responsibility for your actions. Best wishes moving forward.

~ Sabina

BS here. Being a believer you know that without confession there is no forgiveness. Hiding will sin only leave a cancer in your soul that will grow. You have tried breaking it off many times and you don't have the will to do it.

There still is a risk that your BH's best friend will fail at hiding it and his BS will find out and tell your BH. That would be a bigger blow than you telling him yourself.

Congrats. i know this will significantly improve your wellbeing in the long run, and hopefully your marriage will survive this.

Remember that you had sufficient time to prepare for this moment: he did not. Also, you are the type that had an affair, he was not. Two different senerios. You need to support your BS through every emotion if you want to save your marriage. His recovery needs to be your greatest priority. Honesty is key.

wontdefineme...

In case you missed it...she already confessed to her H.

great job confessing...as others have said, prepare yourself for a rocky road that's sure to follow...I'm very proud of you..

(((((mrsdpw6)))) I am sure that confessing was extremely difficult. Be prepared for a long journey towards healing with your H (or without if he decides not to R). We are all here for you if you need advice.