SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Tonight I sat my WS down and told her I no longer wanted to share her with another man and that it was clear she was continuing the affair and as a result I was moving ahead with the dissolution of marriage papers and wanted her to move out.

Wishing you peace and strength

Hang in there. Your strength is admirable. I wish you the best.

((horizon))

Beenthere2? sid it so well...

Peace, strength and courage...

Good for you horizen! Now you're taking control and gaining some of your power back!

good for you.....and what was her response??

Did you talk to the OMs wife??

Bufffalo

[This message edited by bufffalo at 12:48 AM, October 18th (Tuesday)]

(((horizen)))

That takes strength and courage, and even though I'm nobody really, I'm proud of you.

Just keep breathing, eating, staying on target.

Any response from WW?

The first step is always the hardest. Congrats on standing up for yourself. Be prepared for that shit storm to follow. Getting her to physically leave might be diffucult. Do you have a plan ?

I just wanted to wish you the best of luck and it must of been such a hard thing to do. I agree with the others with peace, strength and courage. Take care (((horizen)))

Wishing you peace, and strength. It's a hard thing to do.

(((Horizen)))

(standing up and saluting you)

And how do you feel? I’m not expecting happiness or any sense of joy but physically don’t you feel an immediate difference? Are your shoulders sore? That’s the tension slightly easing.

I think that when we finally commit to a plan we tend to feel better. It’s a bit like fearing the dentist… You have a tremendous tooth-ache and you tolerate the pain because you hope it heals and you fear the dentist. Eventually you give up. Yes – the time in the waiting room and the initial minutes in the chair are terrible but once you are out… you start wondering why you didn’t do this straight away.

(((horizen))) You need to stand up for yourself and your beliefs. I know it was most likely a very painful thing to do, but everyone comes to a point where they need to do for themselves.

((((horizen))))

((horizen))

Sending strength and calming thoughts. Well done on taking decisive action. I need to take a leaf from your book.

Thanks everyone. I'm a mix of emotions today.

I'm not an overly religious person, but yesterday (after enduring a weekend of watching my WS take text messages from OM) I prayed to God to send me a sign on what to do. Well yesterday before going home I checked her cell phone records and there it was, she spent almost an hour on the phone with the man she's supposed to have NC with.

At this point, she has agreed to leave / end the marriage...however it was only after she told me the following things:

1.) Because I'm asking her to leave the house (as I said I didn't want to share my wife) I'm financially ruining this family.

2.) I have always told her that on D-Day I had no idea I was even close to losing her as a wife. She proclaimed on that day, I wasn't close to losing her at all...she had total plans of continuing the marriage...however because I found out - I opened a door for her to look in. She's now decided that she's never felt "whole" since we were married and as a result wants out so she can find her happiness.

3.) She claims she no longer feels the love that she once felt for me. I said yeah, because you are having an affair/sex and sharing I love you's with another man.

I dunno, I'm a range of emotions today. I do have regret over a period of 2007 - 2009 wherein we were battling so many things...the economy made my work very difficult and we were scraping to get by, we had two babies at home, and my mom was dying of Alzheimer's Disease. I regret I wasn't better for her during that time period. I have shared that with her and she has accepted that apology.

I regret that she wasn't honest with me about being unhappy (but perhaps she was happy and it's just a smoke screen) and we didn't get help to avoid all this.

I'm sick over my kids this morning and the impact this will have on them.

I tried and can say I gave this my all...however I can't push a rope.

Oh, Horizen - I am so sorry you are dealing with this kind of pain. We all are. She is shrouded in fog - where rational does not exist. Your decisions are rational - you are doing the right thing. Her tune is the same sung by all foggy WWs - it's textbook. Do not own any guilt that does not belong to you - you did not cause this - this is NOT your fault - this is NOT your fault! In time you will see that in releasing this, taking this painful turn, you will be in a better place. I am praying for strength to be yours - for your healing - for steady thoughts as you take this turn. You can do this. Let her take NOTHING else from you. When they are in this major selfish mode, our dignity can easily get zapped. Take charge now - let your children see strength in you. Hugging you.

(but perhaps she was happy and it's just a smoke screen)

Yep....its bullshit. Sounds like shes rewriting the maritial history....that way she can "justify" (abet in her own mind) her behavior....you didnt do anything wrong...its called blameshifting.

Take care of your self, bro......

Keep us posted.....

Bufffalo

horizen - good for you for standing up tall. Keep hanging in there. It will, at some point, get better.

And yep, she's feeding you complete foggy BS on her 'truths'.

Stay strong.