SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Well, I moved into my new house last weekend! I'm still unpacking and I'm looking forward to decorating. I'm also going to spend next weekend in Atlanta with one of my friends. Just going out, shopping, dinners, etc. I'm excited- it should be a lot of fun. Then, the next weekend is the Disney cruise with my kids. So, lots to look forward to! I still have bad times, but they are happening less often and are less intense. I'm looking forward to the day when I don't think about my x or the ow at all!

Well kk is being a recluse lately. I live near the Silicon Valley but my home is fairly remote in the mountains and I've been enjoying spring and getting back out in my garden.

I've been working hard taking care of a bunch of deferred maintenance and getting good muscles in my back arms and shoulders. But my weight is up 15 pounds over this time last year and I need to ride by bike more.

I know I should do more socializing but when I think about it, I'd really rather be alone with my dog. So today im declining a party invite and doing more chores.

Everything is budding out. I love my yard

I'm in my 2nd year of my doctorate, and have started clinical training. This is my full-time job at this point, basically, which will only get worse as the clinical piece increases. But I adore it. I love the intellectual stimulation after being a SAHM for more than a decade, I am meeting tons of new people and loving it, and have an adult life -- both socially and professionally -- while my kids are with their dad.

I have overcome my paralyzing fear of driving on the highway because of my commute for school. I also now can navigate the regional bus system, and know my way around the city we have lived in the outskirts of for 10 years but which I never went to.

I am refinancing and have redecorated my bedroom and living room in the former marital home. Its my house now!

I am still the primary parent to my 3 kids, and play mom most days after school. They are all adjusting pretty well, better than I thought. My ex is one of those who realized what he'd been missing all these years with the kids while he was off being a workaholic, so they actually get a lot more of him than they used it. (Too bad he couldn't have done that 10 years ago, but I am glad he did it now for the kids' sake.)

I love my life now, even thought its busy and I have a student budget supporting 4 of us, but I am growing and blossoming in ways I never did before.

I teach my parrots to do tricks as part of keeping their minds active and focused on good things instead of misbehaving, and one of them just really got a new trick we've been working on for a year! It clicked; I could see it, and she had so much fun. She did it 5 times in a row and wanted to do more, but I made her do other tricks in order to keep her wanting to do it again tomorrow.

I am so excited!!!

@phmh, that sounds so cool! Can you describe the trick that your parrot finally got after a year?

It's kind of tough to explain, but she's standing on a perch, and when I tell her to "dive" (she doesn't quite yet have it on cue,) she flings herself forward, still holding on to the perch, so that she winds up hanging upside down. She'd been scared to fling herself down, but she was loving it tonight.

It's part of our routine (that I do just for myself and very close friends) where I tell her she needs to start earning her keep and I ask her what kind of job she wants. We go through her options. Among her choices:

Walmart greeter (she waves)

Crossing guard (she puts her foot up like a stop sign)

Boxer (she balls her foot up and sticks it out)

Actress (she takes a bow)

Ballerina (she turns around)

Fisherman (she puts her ear to the ground to listen for worms)

Philosopher (she puts her foot up and strokes the place a beard would be)

Gang enforcer (she extends her wings so she looks bigger)

Politician (she shakes my hand)

Since she knows dive now, I may have to try to come up with other sports ones to have her learn. She will put a ball in a cup, so I need to craft a little basketball hoop.

It's really a lot of fun. Sadly, my other two parrots aren't quite as bright, so they don't have nearly as many tricks.

OMG phmh! I was giggling imagining the gang enforcer!

I wish you could post a video of it!

Ooh, I have a non-dating NB. Tonight, Teslet and I went out and made our first ever snow man... AT NIGHT

We had so much fun playing in the snow and Lie Lie was having a blast running around the yard and coming over to have snow thrown on her. This scene would not have happened back in my married days. It was a good evening

How's Teslet's arm healing?

Good as new. No breaks, no hairline fractures...just needed a few days immobolized in a splint while the swelling went down.

tesla,

Sounds fantastic! Playing in the snow at night is magical!

I'm still thinking that someday you can run a race up here, and then she can do her tricks for you. She'll live another 40 years or so, so there's no rush :)

She'll live another 40 years or so, so there's no rush :)

Damn, but I might not make it another 40!!!

If I don't make it into a certain marathon (waiting to see if I get the lottery drawing entry...stupid marathon can't keep their site from fucking up on registration day...grrrrrr!) fate might just be telling me something

If you don't get in, you are welcome to come north and stay at my place. Our marathon is a week earlier, and just slightly smaller

Speaking of, and another non-dating NB, my parents and one of my coworkers who is knowledgeable about such things are looking at the house I want to buy on Friday. If all goes well, I'll then put in an offer.

I hope it works out, but I'm still trying to not get too excited in case it doesn't! I never liked the other houses I owned with XWH (I acquiesced to what he wanted -- a common theme in our relationship!) and this one fits my personality so perfectly!

Very glad to hear about the arm.

Phmh, you should post a pic of your parrots on the pet thread in F&G!

I pretty much never go into F&G. I will have to find pics and post them!

This weekend marks the one year anniversary of me moving out of our marital house and getting my own apartment.

So many things have changed in this past year. I am happier than I could have imagined. I've made new friends and reconnected with old ones. My job I've had for 11 months now is absolutely amazing in every aspect. I'm probably going to buy a house this spring/summer.

Life is fantastic!

I like this thread, its full of optimism and love for LIFE, whereas JFO is so sad. its like watching all this wasted love just hanging in the air waiting to see who will be the first to reclaim it and stuff it back in a polythene bag until its a grey sickly version of itself.

My NB is v.new, but also, i was a single parent for a few years previous to my last relationship, so i already learned how to drill, put up shelves, fix leaky toilets and taps, put up wallpaper, plaster a wall(actually that one didnt go so good), fix my car etc

This time i am learning how to fix me and my life. to meditate, decorating MY house - really been nesting recently, getting a new dining room and study, and clearing ALL the clutter out!!

bought a whole new wardrobe that i cant afford, and may turn out to look a bit young for me, but damn it ill wear it anyway even if i cringe in a few years looking at photos.

have been drinking a lot less now that WXBF isnt here drinking every night, and enjoying actually going out and not being hungover the next day.

have been enjoying having nights in, not just feeling like im waiting for him to come home, its MY TIME.

i dont see alone time as being time wasted anymore (it used to be like, i was that hypothetical tree that fell in a forest a noone was there to hear it, so did i really watch that movie / read that magazine / etc cs noone was here).

I'm reading about what i want to learn about. plus i have all his books to read too since he doesnt want them back, and he just bought the top 100 classics, so that'll make a nice year of learning.

i bought s1&2 of boardwalk empire for whenever i get lonely and bored.

i intend to make more friends over the next few months, I'm going to be a more open person but protect my boundaries at the same time.

and eventually start dating again when the time is right.But

I will never hand responsibility for my life over to anyone else.

and i am enjoying having more daughter and mummy nights out for dinner.

Oh and i am booking a holiday to Iceland for my birthday, and taking my daughter on a holiday to London.

I went to a concert by myself.

The Big 4! (Metallica, Megadeth, Anthrax, Slayer.)

General Admission.

I got as close as I could get (VIP area barrier.)

The crowd was intense. I'll never forget this. I was my own person. After the first band played, the crowd dispersed a bit as everyone went to get food etc. I turned around, saw actually how far there was to go and how many people to fight through and decided, right there, that I would just stay put and move closer. There was no whining about being thirsty or hungry. I only had myself to answer to. It was so liberating!

I did go to the gym a lot and did my own thing.

Joined a band.

Rediscovered my family.

But that concert. That was the biggest thing.

I didn't have to walk on eggshells with everything. I could just go and do what I wanted. Took my pillow, some toiletries and change of clothes for the weekend and just was a nomad at my friends' houses.

This. Yes. This.

Thank you.

I'm trying but not hard enough. I really want to be me again. A better me. A truly free and grown up me. (60 this June!?? WTF?)

Thank you. I've feel so fortunate to have found all of you and here is another lesson. But. I want to learn this lesson now, not later. Please keep bumping this for lurking newbies to NB.

Yesterday I signed up for another color run 5K. I did one last fall and it was so awesome! I'm excited. It's in June, so I have time to get back into running after the semester ends and hopefully run the whole thing without a walk break this time.

Ama = wannabe runner

AND I just signed up for another bocce team with two of my coworker buddies! I'm really excited about this, because I loved my league last summer, but it was still a little hard to get to know people. So it'll be nice to do it with two coworkers (one of whom has been playing in the league a long time and knows everybody). It's not in my neighborhood this time either, so it won't be as easy to show up late and slink out of the bar early, which is good.... I need to get myself out there more.