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floridaredman ( member #15122) posted at 6:49 PM on Monday, July 23rd, 2012
Impressive!..Great Job ThornyRose
" floridaredman, it's good to have you here"...DeeplyScared
Sleep Peacefully
newbeg2011 ( member #31892) posted at 6:08 AM on Tuesday, July 24th, 2012
Thorny rose
Thank you for setting a example of what a Wayward should do for their spouse. I know that took a huge amount of courage.
You have inspired me to dig deeper. I never gave this detailed a letter to my wife. I hope you continue to heal
Never forget what I have done to BS but don't let guilt make me quit. STAY IN THE FIGHT ! ! !
WS 47 me
BS 47 her
5 Great Children
DD 1/15/11
ihatehim ( member #35646) posted at 7:46 PM on Tuesday, July 24th, 2012
This makes my heart shift... I'm glad that you were able to do this I'm sorry letter.... I wish my FWH could do the same.... He says he is sorry... But I don't think he really know what he did unless it is broken down in ways that we both understand. Thank you for this. 👍
Me: 33
Him:31
Ow: 27 (worked together)
Married 6years, 2 kids
DWBH ( member #35512) posted at 5:10 PM on Wednesday, October 17th, 2012
Me: BH, 51
Her: FWW, 50 (ThornyRose)
M: 21 years, together 25
2 Daughters: 23 and 21
D Day: 9/25/2011; Lies & TT to 5/4/2012
~Double betrayal; caught them in the act~
OktoberMest ( member #34173) posted at 9:46 PM on Wednesday, October 17th, 2012
I just might have to take a leaf out of your book TR...wow - well done. That's must have been tough to do, but so worthwhile.
Also just wanted to let you know how impressed LonelyHusband is - he just read this a said really well done, he can really feel your pain; but the value of that list of apologies and how you phrased it is limitless.
somanyyears ( member #26970) posted at 10:04 PM on Wednesday, October 17th, 2012
..that was one 'helluva' comprehensive list!
..my hat's off to you.
..my fWW has not given me a list of 'sorries' but could easily use quite a number of yours.
..i wonder if she ever read them here when you originally posted?
well doe ThornyRose..
smy
trust no other human- love only your pets. Reconciled I think! Me 77 Her 74 Married 52 yrs. 18 yr LTA with bff/lawyer. Little fucker died at 57.Brain tumour!
SBB ( member #35229) posted at 1:00 AM on Thursday, October 18th, 2012
...for all the BSs out there that need to see what remorse looks like.
True Remorse is gentle, kind, compassionate, patient and tender. It is surrendering to the truth no matter how scared you are.
It's not merely understanding what you've done to your spouse or feeling sorry/guilty for their hurt. IMO STBXWH betrayed himself too so it should not be just my pain he was feeling, but his own.
With true remorse a BS can reach a place of not defining their WS by their betrayal. A WS will also stop defining themselves by it too.
You are owning your shit TR and that is an amazing thing most are incapable of. Remember to take the time to be really proud of yourself for that.
[This message edited by StrongButBroken at 8:40 PM, October 17th (Wednesday)]
I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!
SurprisinglyOkay ( member #36684) posted at 3:25 PM on Thursday, October 18th, 2012
This is awesome! Thanks for sharing it with us!!
FWS me 38 (recovering addict)
BS him 41 AFrayedKnot
Together 10 years
2 children
"Your secrets keep you sick"
DWBH ( member #35512) posted at 3:24 PM on Friday, October 19th, 2012
StrongButBroken:
With true remorse a BS can reach a place of not defining their WS by their betrayal. A WS will also stop defining themselves by it too.
This is a great perspective, and very well articulated!
Me: BH, 51
Her: FWW, 50 (ThornyRose)
M: 21 years, together 25
2 Daughters: 23 and 21
D Day: 9/25/2011; Lies & TT to 5/4/2012
~Double betrayal; caught them in the act~
5454real ( member #37455) posted at 7:10 PM on Friday, February 15th, 2013
Bumping for some people in need
BH 58, WW 49
DS 31(Mine),SD 29,SS 28(Hers),DS 16 Ours, DGS 11, DGD 8, DGS 3
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 13yrs
"I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone."
― Sophocle
DL14 ( member #9189) posted at 11:31 AM on Saturday, February 16th, 2013
My WW said she was sorry a few times, but never said why. At one point I told her she didn't have to apologize anymore. It was empty.
I so wish she could have apologized like your original post. It would have meant the world to me.
I can tell that came from your heart.
Me: 54
Her: 52
D-Day 11-15-05
D-Day #2&3 12/2012
Married: 32
Who will care 100 years from now.
StixNstones ( member #37458) posted at 6:57 PM on Saturday, February 16th, 2013
I've never posted on this forum before, but I had to for this one.
Getting a very detailed apology from my WH would be huge for R. Especially one you could read over whenever you feel the need.
This is pretty awesome!
Sounds like your very remorseful and getting it. I hope some WS can learn from your example. It must have been very hard to dig that deep and then to write it all out.
Good job TR!!
BS (Me): 37
WH: 40
Dday: March 2011 (found out EA Phone records)
2nd Dday: June 18, 2011 (OW told me about WH secret phone)
3rd Dday: December 13, 2012 (found evidence WH stalking Ow on FB)
4th Dday: February 4, 2013 (confession of 2nd secret
CrappyLife ( member #37630) posted at 11:52 PM on Saturday, February 16th, 2013
BH here. This list is so detailed and awesome. Must have taken a lot of courage to do it.
My WW could use a lot of the things written there. 
BBF-turned-BH: 28 (Me)
WGF-turned-WW: 28 (EmotionalFool)
POS1: a 'friend'? WW believed it was my 'best friend'!
POS2: her senior at work!
Together - 6 years
Married - 1.5 years
D-Day- 15/10/12
Don't know where we are headed..
918Mama ( member #37756) posted at 6:11 AM on Sunday, February 17th, 2013
I remember reading this months ago and loving it. I would love to get a list like this someday. Wonderful job!
Surrender to what is. Let go of what was. Have faith in what will be. -- Sonia Ricotti
ivbeenchtd ( new member #38745) posted at 4:08 AM on Tuesday, March 19th, 2013
This is what every bs needs to hear..and its not just the words..but the work you did to be able to express them..
Me 44 bs
He. 36 ws
False R..now on the fence
"The hardest part of finally seeing you was accepting what I see"
STILLWANTHIM ( new member #37717) posted at 4:47 AM on Tuesday, March 19th, 2013
I have not posted before, but I have to say I truly loved this post. I agree,it would be wonderfull to recieve something like this from my wh.
Me bs 58
Him ws 57
Married 36 years
Children 2, grandchildren 3
Dday 1 2012-11-03, Dday2 2012-12-08
Dday 3 2013-06-20 separating
1985 ( member #28171) posted at 4:56 AM on Tuesday, March 19th, 2013
I am truly impressed. Getting a letter like that, that speaks from the heart and explains truly how you feel inside and what is in your head would be a blessing beyond description for a betrayed spouse. I am certain your husband cherishes that letter and that it will help him immensely in his healing.
Me-BH now 70
Her-fWW now 69 Still beautiful to me
DDay: June 1985. 5 years after A ended
Still married - actually in love
2 grown kids; 5 grandkids
DWBH ( member #35512) posted at 3:54 PM on Tuesday, March 19th, 2013
I am certain your husband cherishes that letter and that it will help him immensely in his healing.
Indeed!
Although, I wouldn't quite use the word cherish. More like this was a building block in the foundation of our R. I struggle to read thru this whole thing, as it really triggers me. I've read it maybe 10 times since she sent it to me.
[This message edited by DWBH at 7:42 PM, March 19th (Tuesday)]
Me: BH, 51
Her: FWW, 50 (ThornyRose)
M: 21 years, together 25
2 Daughters: 23 and 21
D Day: 9/25/2011; Lies & TT to 5/4/2012
~Double betrayal; caught them in the act~
hurting7897 ( member #34761) posted at 4:01 PM on Tuesday, March 19th, 2013
Bravo to you for writing this letter to your BS. I couldn't read it all (too many triggers) but having gotten a similar one from my FWH, I can feel your sincerity and remorse. Writing that must've been incredibly painful and that is exactly what we BS need from our FWS.
I am always glad to read posts like this one where a FWS really "gets" it.
Congratulations!
Married 20 years
Me-BS-51
Him-FWH-46 "healing4us2"
2 kids, DD 12 and DS 16
D-day #1 Jan. 30,2012
D-day #2 April 12, 2012
D-day #3 April 15, 2012
June 24, 2012--Decided to R.
January 21, 2013-Forgave him! Life is sweet
May 4, 2015--T
sodamnlost ( member #37190) posted at 1:47 AM on Wednesday, March 20th, 2013
What a true gift you have given your BS. Beautifully painful, in a good way.
Me - BS original Dday 10-2012, separated June 2014, divorce Fall 2016
Grief, loss and pain taunt her - "you will never be the same." Like a Phoenix rising from the ashes, she rises and spreads her new wings as she brushes off the ashes an
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