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Ive let go. I'm feeling peaceful and no its not alcohol or Xanax.

I have resigned my self to the fact that this is over. The deck is stacked, and there will be no happy ending for me. In fact, why would I want the tramp back? She's not worth it, and I've been a fool for weeks.

I am 180, I just can't grab onto all of it. So fuck it now anyway. It was never going to make a difference.

The heart wants what the heart wants and I will be better off one day.

So,

The WW and I get into it on the phone when I called to talk to the kids after day 1 at school.

It got ugly.

I told her i'm done and its over. She'll get the papers in days. She goes ballistic and we trade insults. She finally says some more terrible things to me and then hangs up.

I text her a 'goodbye' said I always loved her. That was it 2 lines.

In less than 10 minutes, she calls back. Wants to continue talking now..

Wow - classic cake eater right? Manipulator?

You need to disengage my friend.

You have started the ball rolling with the divorce you made a decision good for you, you can now begin moving on and looking after yourself.

Go NC with her bar the kids and finances. If she goes ballistic at you again, your response is "I'm sorry that you feel that way" don't trade insults.

No need to text her goodbye and that you always loved her. Yes she is cake eating by wanting to text, but only because you showed her the cake again.

Its tough, its hard and it sucks big time, but you can do it. NC means no new hurts.

Hang in there

SP

I feel exactly like you, kchip. I don't want a divorce because I don't want my children's world torn apart.

Every time you have visitation, you can take the children to counseling. This has really helped my children ALOT!

Keep moving forward. Serving her does not mean you are divorced....it is a long process until that day comes.

In the mean time you must learn to detach and not engage. I know it is hard and all you want is the wife you knew before but it won't happen right now. She has told you what she wants, even if she is crazy and it all sounds nuts to you it is the road she is traveling now.

Get the book "Love Must Be Tough" by Dobson. You can love someone but not be able to live with them.

I'm so sorry it's come to this.

Stay the course. It isn't real to her yet. She still thinks she can have it both ways; Her family and her new fantasy.

Don't listen to a word she says. She'll say anything right now to keep you hooked. She'll even mean it in the moment. But if you back track or waver she'll go right back to cake eating.

This is your time to show her what her actions have lead too.

[This message edited by Twitchy at 8:15 AM, August 21st (Tuesday)]

Well that is good news. To listen to my WW, every single thing that is wrong in this world is my fault.

And that is exactly why you need to quit listening to her.

She really didn't believe that you were going to do anything. She was very confident that you were still dangling, and that you would eventually capitulate and let her behave how she wished. She had you convinced that somehow, this was all your fault, and you needed to figure out what to do to keep her.

Only... that's the gift that keeps on giving. The bar was going to continuously be raised every time she wanted something different.

Expect the crazy. She'll alternate screaming matches with sobbing with offers of sex. I liken it to when the Janet is holding onto Tam Lin, and the Queen of the Faeries keeps changing him into different illusions to get Janet to let go of him. So long as you hold your ground, you have a chance of getting the real deal back. The minute you give in to the illusions, you're back at square one.

Expect change through action, and don't settle for anything else.

[This message edited by veritas at 12:10 PM, August 21st (Tuesday)]

Sent the final missing financials to the lawyer today. They now have everything. Let me say, it was easier to buy a house....

They assured me, I can file on Thursday if I choose to and I can say right now I am going to do so.

After tomorrow, I intend to begin a new NC/180. I have been doing much of the 180 but I haven't been very 'cheerful'.