SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Yes. My dad. And my mom, since there are lots of female cheaters as well.

When I told my dad what STBX did, he sat down with me and wrote out a long list of what I needed to look into and take care of if I wanted a D. It is from my parents that I have drawn so much strength-- they showed me that I don't have to be anyone's plan B and that I am fully capable of rising to the occasion and leaving someone who has treated me as though I don't even exist. Plus, I have seen in their relationship that I deserve someone who is stronger than STBX. When the going got rough, he quit and had an A. My parents have gone through some rough times, and they've always gone through them as a team.

I'm also pretty confident that I work with many upstanding men who are devoted to their wives and have excellent boundaries. They have always treated me with courtesy and respect.

It's hard to sometimes see the faithful folk out there. You don't see major headlines proclaiming how faithful a famous actor or politician is to his/her spouse. That doesn't sell. Plus, people don't gossip about how faithful a couple is-- they gossip about the neighbor's or coworker's A, not that they are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. That's not gossip-worthy.

Maybe if we did more to celebrate fidelity and to hold it in high esteem, things wouldn't seem so bleak. Instead, we are constantly looking for that "high," so we cheat, or we enjoy indulging in schadenfreude, so we gleefully read or gossip about the cheaters.

There are lots of great people out there, though. We just didn't marry them.

Been cheated on by ex wife in my first marriage, and cheated on again by wife in this marriage, yet I've never been unfaithful despite numerous women throwing themselves at me.

And every single one of the men I know who've been divorced is because their WW started cheating on them.

So do I think all women are unfaithful sluts who spread their legs for any coworker or dude they meet on their Girls Night Outs (GNOs)? Of course not.

There are good people out there.

Yo! Two LTRs and one M and I was faithful.

t/j The whole GNO that Im2024 mentioned has become a triggery subject for considering how much A behavior occurred. end t/j

Well, that's one way of getting every BH on this site riled up.

No, not all men are cheating pigs, and not all women are honor-less sluts.

t/j The whole GNO that Im2024 mentioned has become a triggery subject for considering how much A behavior occurred. end t/j

x2-no more GNO here.

We're not all douche-bags!

Yes, absolutely and there are faithful women as well.

The "everybody cheats" defense is worthless. I told my FWS, if I never found out about his infidelity that didn't make it go away. He didn't "get away" with anything. He knew in his heart he was unfaithful. It still happened. He knew.

t/j

Shockleader,

Not that it is an excuse, but technology sure does not help... How many of the affairs do we read about here that include texting, FB, email, ect... All too easy for folks who cheat, and gives them instant gratification drug like effects.

Well, on the other hand I think that technology has made it a lot easier to get caught in an affair as well as bring peace of mind to those in R that require VARs, keyloggers, etc.

It's a double edged sword. Can technically be easier to pull it off, but is almost the one seemingly universal way we BSs find out.

I find through observation a lot of the long term affairs I read about are conducted without as much use of technology and through simpler means, even just in person.

/ t/j

[This message edited by VD2012 at 2:47 PM, October 25th (Thursday)]

Most of my friends/co-workers are married to faithful, committed partners. I actually only know two other people IRL that have been cheated on. A few years ago though, I would have counted myself as one of the really lucky people that was in a terrific marriage, with a terrific man,that I love and feel cherished by. So who knows. maybe there are skeleton's in their closets and they just haven't found them yet. BTW, I'm a woman. I have never cheated and do not think it would be possible for me to cheat. Just not in me. I couldn't bare the guilt and definatly would feel that I was cheating on my children also.

I've been in Law Enforcement for 20yrs, plus I'm a Personal Trainer and Group Fitness instructor at a large gym. I've had PLENTY opportunities to be unfaithful, never traveled down that road.

I've been cheated on by my first husband and my current WH. I am trying not to have too negative of an outlook. I've read statistically more men stray, but there are LOTS of women that do too. I know several that have.

Some say women are better at hiding it, but I have no idea if that's true or not. Just another silly thing I read.

Me. All of my good friends, so far as I know.

Just to add to the chorus...yes there are.

i have a faithful man in my life now. i have several male friends that i'm pretty dang sure are faithful.

they are out there even if it doesn't seem like now

I don't know one man other than my own FWS that was unfaithful. Sure past boyfriends..but it was about the types of people I was picking more than anything.

My dad, my brother, my uncles, my grandpas.. the men that taught me what a man is, and who I admire, take care of their families, conduct themselves with integrity and are rockstars.

My husband as a FWS.. rockstar too. He's worked so hard to be someone he is proud of.

Good men.. I know them.

[This message edited by metamorphisis at 7:25 PM, October 25th (Thursday)]

Well, I must say, I am impressed! It's so good to hear this. I'm glad you made this thread, because I was at a point where I seriously did believe that about 85% of the population cheat. My belief was that men and women both cheat, though. After all, as I've said before, who are the men cheating with - women!

I look around me and I see it so much. Although, at work, there are no cheaters. (9 women and 3 men.)

I am not a cheater.

I have been of the opinion that it is mostly the young who are faithful. I suppose I should drop that view, as well.

I still, however, will remain forever single. When I think of the many problems one can get into with having a relationship - NPD, diseases, alcoholics, thieves, FOO issues, X-spouse baggage, SA's, gamblers, drug addicts, lazy moochers, head-gamers, liars, spendthrifts, mama's boy's, and let's not forget, cheaters, well, I would much prefer to just live alone and not deal with any of it.

PS - Shoestring, haven't seen you in a while. Good to hear from you!

ETA: I forgot to answer the question! My dad, my brother, grandparents, my 2 sons and 2 daughters, 2 sisters, several aunts and uncles, none of them cheated that I know of. I do know of one uncle and two cousins that cheated. (Of course, there may be more that I'm unaware of.)

[This message edited by stillhere09 at 7:38 PM, October 25th (Thursday)]

Yep, I am.

Here in the hills of northern New England, me and my friends are steadfast and true.

I don't think it is as common as it used to be. But, I don't mind being odd if that is the price for being faithful. I am faithful for me just as much if not more so than for my wife.

I have been faithful for almost 17 years now. I'm envious of all of you guys that have a clean slate. I have great respect for each and every one of you.

To all the faithful spouses "Bless your Hearts"