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0115 (original poster member #31740) posted at 11:28 PM on Friday, January 25th, 2013
Has anyone seen it...is it really hard to watch?
BS (me) 49
FWH 49 newbeg2011
Married 29 years
Very Long LTA
DD 01/15/11-6/30/11
The hard work is done...let the healing begin.
LonelyHusband ( member #34145) posted at 12:35 AM on Saturday, January 26th, 2013
certainly wouldn't advise it for new BSs
Reconciling.
“A wizard is never late. Nor is he ever early. He arrives precisely when he means to".
Apparently not an appropriate reason for coming home drunk at 2AM.
0115 (original poster member #31740) posted at 3:37 AM on Saturday, January 26th, 2013
BS (me) 49
FWH 49 newbeg2011
Married 29 years
Very Long LTA
DD 01/15/11-6/30/11
The hard work is done...let the healing begin.
persevere ( member #31468) posted at 3:47 AM on Saturday, January 26th, 2013
I'm two years out from DDay so I got thru it but it did hit me a bit. I think it caused me to view Bradley Coopers perspective differently than another might have.
Great movie.
DDay:2011
Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017
Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.
sad12008 ( member #18179) posted at 5:10 AM on Saturday, January 26th, 2013
I haven't seen it, but want to. Didn't know infidelity was involved (assuming it is from your post), but I know it involves BPD which definitely strikes very close to home. I've heard about it from that angle from others who have BP spouses.
Kinda glad for the heads up that it might be triggery for a BS...or fBS.
You can't fill a cup with no bottom.
MissMovingOn ( member #30720) posted at 5:28 AM on Saturday, January 26th, 2013
I've read that they handle the sex addiction aspect of Jennifer Lawrence's character really well.
Me: BS, 34
Him: (SA/NPD)WH, 31
Multiple ddays since 2010 (Latest January 15th 2013) - not counting anymore!
FINAL FINAL DDay - August 8, 2014. I AM DONE!
Charwheeze ( member #37689) posted at 5:54 AM on Saturday, January 26th, 2013
I saw it about a week ago. The infidelity part made me pretty uncomfortable, but what really sets me off is when two people are in love in a TV show or movie. That's when it hurts the most. The loneliness becomes overwhelming.
BH - me, 31
ex-WW - her, 31
Dday: 10-14-12
Divorced July 2013
0115 (original poster member #31740) posted at 5:55 AM on Saturday, January 26th, 2013
Well we ended up not seeing it tonight...went home and watched Sandlot with the kids instead. 
fWH is having a hard time right now so I didn't think it would help.
I might have to rent it when it comes out though
Thanks for the heads up!
0115
BS (me) 49
FWH 49 newbeg2011
Married 29 years
Very Long LTA
DD 01/15/11-6/30/11
The hard work is done...let the healing begin.
MrsDoubtfire ( member #24786) posted at 10:23 AM on Saturday, January 26th, 2013
It's a really good film and is very sensitively portrayed. I didn't trigger watching it.
BS(Me) FWH(Him) DDay 05.09
A went underground. True R 02.10
I won't let another woman reap the benefit of enjoying the man my H has now become†
Daisy312 ( member #36813) posted at 4:05 PM on Saturday, January 26th, 2013
It was tough for me! I didn't know what it was about and there were parts that just ripped at my heart! I'm 9 months past Dday, but still really struggling.
Sad in AZ ( member #24239) posted at 5:35 PM on Saturday, January 26th, 2013
I saw it yesterday. If you trigger easily or are new to infidelity, it will hit you like a ton of bricks, mostly because of the attitude of the characters not affected by the infidelity. The mental health aspects of the movie are difficult; I didn't think I would like it when it was in progress, but by the end I was thrilled. I loved the movie.
[This message edited by Sad in AZ at 11:36 AM, January 26th (Saturday)]
You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.
Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-63
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011
mchercheur ( member #37735) posted at 3:57 AM on Monday, May 27th, 2013
Warning: Spoiler alert for anyone who didn't see it yet,
& trigger alert for new BSs
Just saw this movie tonight.
Just a few thoughts about it. Yes, it gives you a view into the world of BPD & sex addiction. But what hit me the most is how the BH was trying to "nice" the WW back---by losing weight, reading books,controlling his emotions, etc.
IOW, he blamed himself for her cheating on him, that she did it because of what he was lacking/his faults---& thought he could win her back if he could become better in those areas.
In the movie nobody seemed to acknowledge what a huge trauma her infidelity was.
Also, a good warning to any BS who seriously contemplates revenge on the OP.
Me: BW; Him: WH --Had 10 mo. EA/ PA with COW; Dday 5/2011 Married 35 years/Together 36 years/4 kids together, and 1 grandbaby; OW 20 years younger than us/divorced no kids Trying to R; don't know what the final outcome will be
scangel3 ( member #36164) posted at 4:22 AM on Monday, May 27th, 2013
Really wanted to see this movie, didn't know it had infidelity in it. And considering I was triggering from hearing comedians joke about infidelity a few weeks ago, maybe this isn't a movie I should watch right now. Guess another movie to put on the for later list
BS-me 31, WH-31, M'd-10 years
DD 10, DS 7, DS 6.5
Dday 03/01/10 (our DD's bday)
A ended 08/31/10-09/02-10 (with multiple ddays in between).TT on 08/2012, 09/04/12, 11/16/2012, 01/2013, 6/25/2013 Says he wants R, but not proving it
rcantbleveit ( member #30476) posted at 4:36 AM on Monday, May 27th, 2013
I thought it was a great movie. It showed a realistic view of how some come apart after discovering infidelity & although they used BPD as his diagnosis, I've seen several people go through exactly the same emotions without that diagnosis.
I didn't see the woman in it as a sex addict. I saw her actions as another way of dealing with the loss of her husband. She felt tremendous guilt over his death. She felt alone & lonely so she used sex with others to deal with her negative emotions.
In the end, it was uplifting to see that regardless of what we go through & are dealing with, we somehow survive and can find love again.
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