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Diva0702 ( member #32309) posted at 8:33 PM on Wednesday, February 13th, 2013
3 years on from D day and in recovery for most of it but I still feel sadness at my lost life every day. I just deal with the new one and hope that the plaster sticks hard
Me: BW 53
Him: FWH 47
4 wonderful grown children
2 beautiful grandchildren
Married 20 years
Together 23 years
Dday March 10 2010. 4 yr A.
Me: RGN(ret), N.Dip.,BA(Psych),MA (Psych),BA Music.
OW: 55 year old taxi driver
devotedfool68 ( member #38047) posted at 3:58 PM on Thursday, February 14th, 2013
Yakamishi,
Very well said. I feel EXACTLY the same way. I have expressed this to her and what I get back is "sorry".
reflex response I think.........
I share your pain (((Y))) 
[This message edited by devotedfool68 at 9:58 AM, February 14th (Thursday)]
BH 47
WW 39 (Lost94)
DS 17
DS 16
many DDays, primary 7/4/2012 and 8/10/2012
Yakamishi (original poster member #38230) posted at 7:40 PM on Saturday, April 13th, 2013
Bump. Because I still miss her. And love her so much more.
Me: BH
Her: WW Mrs.yaka
Kids:4
Variouse clues to EA. WW promised it would stop.
D-Day of EA 9/13/2012 2:01PM found 2 yrs of text messages, confessed to EA
D-Day of PA: confessed on 9/22/12 11:53 PM. Worst moment of my life
Betrayed67 ( member #38134) posted at 6:27 AM on Sunday, April 14th, 2013
I don't love my wh the same way anymore. It is a source of sadness for me. Sometimes I even question why I am still trying to R. I miss the lost trust and respect. I don't know if the level of trust and respect before the A will ever return.
It's been a hard day today.. exactly 3 months since 1st dday.
Me-BW 46 yo;Him - WH 53 yo
Married 13years
One daughter together 9yo, 2 stepchildren(His from previous marriage)
Various DDdays (see my profile)
ONS and multiple "friendships" with women in various online dating sites
5454real ( member #37455) posted at 6:49 AM on Sunday, April 14th, 2013
I miss what I thought I had. I miss the person who I knew 'soul deep' that I could trust with anything. That trust, once so freely given is gone. Not saying it can't be rebuilt, but this time it will be earned. This time around, no matter how far we get down the R road will always have the 'yea but', built in.
God, I miss the innocence.
BH 58, WW 49
DS 31(Mine),SD 29,SS 28(Hers),DS 16 Ours, DGS 11, DGD 8, DGS 3
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 13yrs
"I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone."
― Sophocle
torn2bits ( member #28376) posted at 6:55 AM on Sunday, April 14th, 2013
I am sorry for your pain. What I can say that it is possible. My sister and her husband went through this 24 years ago. He got the OW pregnant but she miscarried. They are still together and love each other all the more.
Hang in there....this is a long road.
Me: 45/WH (SA): 49
M: 26 years 3 kids over 10 yrs old
EA/ PA Dec. 2009 -Divorce halted
BrokenT ( new member #39056) posted at 3:13 PM on Monday, April 29th, 2013
I know it's been a long time since this post was active but I had to read it, I read all the posts twice. Cried and cried and cried my heart out
I miss the way I was loved, the way I felt special. I'm the wife, not anyone else. I'm his, he's mine. I miss not having to worry or watch him, I miss not feeling the pain all the time.
The innocence is gone. I wonder if he feels the pains I'm suffering. This really hurts but I miss the old him and the old me
BW 27
WH 33
Real Dday: May 22nd, 2013
hobbeskat ( member #38805) posted at 3:24 PM on Monday, April 29th, 2013
Can relate to this. Feeling this hard today and wondering if I should even stay in my marriage because of it. My heart is broken.
HurtButHoping12 ( member #34918) posted at 4:03 PM on Monday, April 29th, 2013
It's hard. I love my FWH, but I can't help questioning his every move, his motives, holding back from him because I'm afraid he will use something against me at a later day. We are R'ing really successfully, but there are still the doubts and worries dancing in the back of my mind. Some days are better than others for me... but I fear that no matter how great things are, those doubts and worries will always be there.
BW (me):31
WH (guiltfilled11): 32
together 12 years, married 6 years
DDay: July 6th 2011
False R: beginning of August
True R until DDay 06/20 - talking to another girl and lying about it
Kids: DD 8, DS 6, DD 4
hobbeskat ( member #38805) posted at 4:04 PM on Monday, April 29th, 2013
I don't feel I am special, that our marriage is special, or that he is special anymore. I hate this feeling.
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