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betrayedinSC77 (original poster new member #38739) posted at 2:34 AM on Thursday, March 28th, 2013
Thanks again everyone! I wanted to give an update. So I had the talk, again, with my WS and she still continues to lie and to say that she hasn't restarted it and that nothing is going on. I told her in no uncertain terms that I KNOW that she has restarted it and that she could very well lose everything, including her job (he is a client), if it continues. She continued to be very defensive and continued with her lies. Ironically, that was exactly the thing I needed to hear...I finally saw her for the true self-centered person that she has always been which has been very freeing for me as I'm now adjusting to the knowledge that we will not be together for much longer. I've been doing the 180 as well which was been SO helpful. I wish I saw it and applied it 3 months ago when I first found out as I'd already be that much further along. I feel much better about myself and the situation though when I really sit and think about it get overwhelmed when I think about the impact that this will have on our daughter. My WS can't seem to make sense of my abrupt change in behavior and has been trying to figure out why the sudden change. Good...keep guessing you lying cheating A#%@#$%!
In terms of contacting the the Spouse, I have yet to do that. Since both her and the affair partner work for the same company, she could very easily go to HR and get my wife fired....not that I'm against that. However, after consulting with my attorney, he has strongly suggested that I hold off for at least 3 to 4 weeks. My wife is expecting a very large commission check for a different deal (not one tied to her affair partner) and since I'll be due 50% of that when we get separated/divorced he doesn't want me to do anything that would impact that until after it has been received. The best part, she has told the OM that she is SOOO looking forward to getting paid on this deal so they can go celebrate in style! Whatever....so my saga continues...
jimbo25319 ( member #31891) posted at 2:53 AM on Thursday, March 28th, 2013
Waiting for that commission check, then dropping the hammer. Brillant
Bravo amigo
Skan ( member #35812) posted at 7:23 PM on Thursday, March 28th, 2013
Your tactics are sound. Go get yourself a bank account that has no one but you on it. The day the commission check is deposited, transfer 1/2 of that into your new account as well as 1/2 of all of the rest of the money. Cancel all of your joint credit cards. Then drop the hammer, serve the papers, and tell her that she's financing her affairs out of her pocketbook from now on. (((hugs)))
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
somanyyears ( member #26970) posted at 7:37 PM on Thursday, March 28th, 2013
..sorry you're here.
..talking about her new landing strip wax
..i'd say it was time to tell her to "TAKE OFF!!!!"
.... and i really hope she and her scumbag have a 'CRASH LANDING!!!!"
smy 
[This message edited by somanyyears at 1:37 PM, March 28th (Thursday)]
trust no other human- love only your pets. Reconciled I think! Me 77 Her 74 Married 52 yrs. 18 yr LTA with bff/lawyer. Little fucker died at 57.Brain tumour!
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 9:03 PM on Thursday, March 28th, 2013
You are doing amazingly well. You have a strong plan in place, and seem very prepared to carry it out.
I would ask her to leave the marital home as well when you drop the hammer. You have been the primary guardian for your child. She doesn't need to be uprooted. Let your WW go to her AP, let him foot the bill for a place to stay.
Be prepared to share proof w/ AP's W. She may not believe you, or need proof to believe you.
Good Luck.
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
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