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GrievingMommy (original poster member #28127) posted at 1:54 AM on Monday, April 1st, 2013
One of the things that made me upset about the break up on Friday, is missing the great sex and intimacy I've shared/had for a year and a half. I don't want to be on the damn bus!!
I am a very sexual person. I crave even just the physical contact such as holding hands or cuddling. I am really going to miss sex. I'm not into casual sex, so no FWB's, etc.
The longest I've gone is six months without sex (after deciding to end the R attempt and our divorce - was then followed closely by a short fling). I know that is short in the scheme of things, but I have a feeling it'll be longer than that this time.
Let the frustration and battery jokes at work begin.
Oh, and yes I have an array of 'toys', but it just isn't the same.
Me - Now 36 y/o
WXH: Now 45 y/o and 18+ hrs away -NPD asshole now onto wife #3.
My sweeties: 5 yr old B/G twins. 90% custody (or more) since 14 months old.
D-Day 4/4/10 PA('s?) & EA's - D'd 7/11
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 2:44 AM on Monday, April 1st, 2013
If it's any consolation, you have 6 months to go before the bus will be by to pick you up.
(((GrievingMommy)))
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
phmh ( member #34146) posted at 2:59 AM on Monday, April 1st, 2013
I hear you.
I'll be picked up by the bus later this month.
If you're just craving human contact, can you get a massage? If you lived near me, I can recommend a super hot European guy who might spice up your dreams a bit
Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!
Married: 11 years, no kids
Character is destiny
Kajem ( member #36134) posted at 3:34 AM on Monday, April 1st, 2013
I get it, I am the same way.. it's been almost a year for me. It gets easier --- with time.
And find a great massage therapist and book regular appointments... it will save your sanity.
Hugs,
K
I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - UnknownRelationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.
cayc ( member #21964) posted at 3:40 AM on Monday, April 1st, 2013
Oh the bus isn't so bad! Bob! Drinks! Laughs! Curtains!
I'm rather enjoying the bus
ManBearDivorce ( member #36258) posted at 3:48 AM on Monday, April 1st, 2013
I crave even just the physical contact such as holding hands or cuddling
.
Oh those things? Totally forgotten those. I actually feel cleansed from the addictive nature of sex. Sometimes it comes back but it's just like nicotine for me. I can bat it down. Just got to get used to it. 1 year and counting for me!
Sad in AZ ( member #24239) posted at 12:17 PM on Monday, April 1st, 2013
If you haven't gone more than 6 months without sex, then you've never been on the bus. If your record holds up, you'll have nothing to worry about.
Seriously, you have to understand your audience...
You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.
Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-63
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011
Oh the Irony ( member #12354) posted at 1:35 PM on Monday, April 1st, 2013
Up the exercise and get massages.
I train in a martial art where I get to touch people. It does help a bit.
Also, I find that really feeling my sensuality is a good thing. I treat myself in a sensual way--take outdoor showers, use bath gels etc that appeal to my senses. I think for awhile I tried to tamp it down, but opening it up is much better. Plus when you feel super sexy and sensual you get much more attention from the opposite sex!
D-day Sept. 15, 2006.
Divorced.
clralb ( member #17185) posted at 4:25 PM on Monday, April 1st, 2013
No more FWB for me. Actually, I don't mind it so much.
I guess the requirements are to not have had sex in a year. I have about six more months to go, but I am going to position myself to get a nice window seat.
When I do get off the bus, it's going to be with someone I truly care about with hopes of a future together. May be a long ride, but I'm willing to wait.
"To keep the body in good health is a duty... otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear."
Buddha
Syzy ( member #15190) posted at 6:41 PM on Monday, April 1st, 2013
yeah I've had very very little sex this last 14 months.. I hate it, its crap.
But whatever I can't force the right thing to show up.
BS
Dday Aug 17, 2006
R - what's that.
Me - Moved on long ago.
It takes two to make it work, but only one to fuck it up.
k94ever ( member #11176) posted at 8:17 PM on Monday, April 1st, 2013
Pushing two years here.
None of us WANT to be riding this bus.
But I'd rather be on the bus with all the wonderful folks here than running the risk of STD's with random men or settling for less than what I want.
I'm worth more than that.
k9
[This message edited by k94ever at 2:18 PM, April 1st (Monday)]
BS:61
WS: 53
Betrayed: 24 years
Affairs: 15 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.
GrievingMommy (original poster member #28127) posted at 9:23 PM on Monday, April 1st, 2013
I know none of us WANT to be on the bus. That is a given. The six months was with a fling and I'm not doing that again. I'm also hoping to make it awhile into a relationship before taking that step.
I do have human interaction as I have my 4 yr olds who give lots of hugs and cuddles....but obviously not the kind of cuddles and contact I'm refering to.
My massage therapist a female.
Even if massage with a guy did something for me, it'd just get me hot and bothered. What a let down. haha
I definitely would rather be on the bus than with someone simply for sex and getting nothing out of it or worse, it making me feel bad.
Me - Now 36 y/o
WXH: Now 45 y/o and 18+ hrs away -NPD asshole now onto wife #3.
My sweeties: 5 yr old B/G twins. 90% custody (or more) since 14 months old.
D-Day 4/4/10 PA('s?) & EA's - D'd 7/11
SouthernGal ( member #27315) posted at 1:19 PM on Tuesday, April 2nd, 2013
Heading toward 3 years ... It gets easier after a while. It also gets easier when you choose to not make it a focal point. In other words don't start worrying about being on the bus six months before you even get on it. The more you choose to focus on and whine about it and focus on other parts of your life it will be easier.
BS (Me) XWH (him) M nearly 16 yrs
1 DD (teens)
D-day #1 12/09, #2 2/10
Divorced 10/6/10
k94ever ( member #11176) posted at 2:42 PM on Tuesday, April 2nd, 2013
BS:61
WS: 53
Betrayed: 24 years
Affairs: 15 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.
SBB ( member #35229) posted at 3:16 PM on Tuesday, April 2nd, 2013
I went 7m on that damned bus. In some ways it was harder (boom-tish) those weeks after falling off the bus momentarily than it was for those 7 months.
Like a mozzie bite - if you scratch it it makes it worse. Leave it alone and it goes away. Until you fall out of the bus again. I've got to stop scratching the damn thing before it makes me crazy,
FWB would be awesome but it seems to ALWAYS get complicated. BOB doesn't cut it I'm afraid.
I hear you sister.
I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!
SoHappyNow ( member #8923) posted at 3:38 PM on Tuesday, April 2nd, 2013
I don't believe that any of us are ENTHUSED about this darn bus......I mean, the company is great and all, but I never wanted to enter the pageant "Miss Born Again Virgin", kwim?
In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer..Albert Camus--------73 now. Dday #1 was 11/11/05 ***Used to be hit-by-a-train*** Widowed, then VERY happily remarried 2/14/14
FaithFool ( member #20150) posted at 5:01 AM on Wednesday, April 3rd, 2013
Year 5 is approaching. Year 5 is approaching!
Just sayin.
It no longer enters my mind unless I'm watching a Ryan Gosling movie.
*snork*
Why yes, I'd love SOME WINE THANKS!
DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire
HurtsButImOK ( member #38865) posted at 5:08 AM on Wednesday, April 3rd, 2013
In 2 weeks I will be joining everyone on the bus too
Glad to hear there will be wine though
Me: Awesome - 35.... ummm, not anymore
"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou
npain ( member #33539) posted at 9:09 PM on Wednesday, April 3rd, 2013
This is definitely a bus NONE of us WANT to be on.
But like others here, I'm not into FWB or casual sex and I plan on waiting until my kids are older to start dating again so I plan to be on this bus for LOOONG time.
But I fill my life up with other things and be content with the hugs my kids give me at night. And try not to think about it...20 months and counting
S, Filed 4/17/14--YAY, ME!!
GrievingMommy (original poster member #28127) posted at 9:46 PM on Wednesday, April 3rd, 2013
I think I need to start drinking.
Me - Now 36 y/o
WXH: Now 45 y/o and 18+ hrs away -NPD asshole now onto wife #3.
My sweeties: 5 yr old B/G twins. 90% custody (or more) since 14 months old.
D-Day 4/4/10 PA('s?) & EA's - D'd 7/11
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