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GreatRoleModel (original poster member #36809) posted at 5:45 PM on Monday, April 22nd, 2013
So here is the email I get from him after his first visitation with the girls since we settled last week The girls are 13 and almost 16 and knew the night I got home what happened and told them I would be fine and we are taking care of and yes dad will pay me some money. They were more concerned with summer visitation and took the high road and told them they had to give it a chance.
Just FYI, I took DD1 and DD2 through yesterday for a few minutes that 1) we'd been to settlement, 2) what it meant. In general that they should see this as a good thing in terms of making sure that we have taken all the money I make and made sure that all of our needs are met and that no matter what I'm taking care of them and you in this process. I drew out a crude chart that showed what happens to my income to take care of you and them as well as the things we own. Likewise I pointed out we would work together on all the major purchase decisions and discussions. I didn't go into may specifics or details, I just know they will see some differences coming up and that they know this is due to an organized discussion we had in their interest versus anything else. They had a few questions but nothing major. Let me know if you hear anything else ..
I am not responding to this crap and moving forward. He is still living in fantasy world that somehow our parenting time has not been altered due to his actions. HE wants a summary every week of what has happened and said no and they are not small kids anymore and they can talk with you. I will only be calling with major issues that both of us need to address. AHHH...
[This message edited by GreatRoleModel at 11:46 AM, April 22nd (Monday)]
BS (me)
XNPDWS
It takes a village to deal with the village idiot!
“If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane.”
― Robert Frost
confused51 ( member #29269) posted at 6:25 PM on Monday, April 22nd, 2013
A weekly summary of their activities. Are you kidding? can't he just ask them what they did last week? They are old enough to tell him what they did and any major issues you will contact him. Will he keep you informed of their activities while with him?
tryingagain74 ( member #33698) posted at 6:42 PM on Monday, April 22nd, 2013
Yeah... no way. It's called, talk to your children, you nincompoop. The more he gets used to it now, the more you can detach and move on and away from him. Talk about not wanting to parent-- you can just do everything and then report to him, m'kay? He can then choose to scold your parenting abilities from afar as he sees fit. 
FBS; now happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley
Phoenix1 ( member #38928) posted at 6:49 PM on Monday, April 22nd, 2013
I agree with everything that has been said. If he wants to know what is going on in his kids' lives, he can ask them. You are not the go-between. If the kids want to tell him they will, if they don't they won't. They are like human beings that way.
Do just as you said and ignore him and move forward. He can untangle his own mess with the kids, its not your problem anymore. 
fBS - Me
Xhole - Multiple LTAs/2 OCs over 20+yrs
Adult Kids
Happily divorced!
You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. ~C.S. Lewis~
movingforward13 ( member #38405) posted at 7:21 PM on Monday, April 22nd, 2013
He is just doing it to keep a hold on you. FTG... He will figure it out soon enough.
Once a cheater, always a cheater happens when your cheater doesn't have remorse.
Regret is not remorse- know the difference!
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